The Return of the USD: Binance.US Breaks Free from Financial Strangulation!

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What to know:

  • Binance.US customers can once again deposit and withdraw USD using bank transfer (ACH) and trade over 160 cryptocurrencies.
  • The firm’s ability to handle USD deposits and withdrawals was choked out of existence under the previous Biden administration.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t our dear friend Binance.US resurrecting like a financial phoenix! 🦅 After a long, drawn-out game of “will they, won’t they” with the US dollar, they can finally let the greenbacks flow once more. Apparently, the Biden administration’s chokehold on their fiat services made an octopus look like a gentle caress.

Starting Wednesday—mark your calendars or whatever mystical coffee shop calendar people do—users will be graced with the ability to deposit and withdraw USD with the miraculous invention of bank transfers, all sans fees. No, seriously. I thought I was reading an infomercial! 💸

In what reads like a horror story for crypto enthusiasts, Binance.US was smothered like a soufflé under an overzealous shepherd—a.k.a. the SEC, with Gary Gensler at the helm like some financial Grim Reaper. After the FTX debacle, Binance.US was treated like a toddler with a permanent marker, and they somehow survived this Armageddon with only a few battle scars (or a 70% workforce reduction, tomato-tomato). 😱

As COO Christopher Blodgett lamented, “Before all that fun with regulations, we were practically tied with Kraken for bragging rights as the second-largest US exchange. Now? Let’s just say we’ve done some hardcore cardio in the ‘keeping this business alive’ department.”

But not ones to wallow in tears, he assured us, “We’ve made some very hard but healthy decisions.” Oh sure, when has corporate restructuring ever not led to a ‘leaner, meaner’ company? Maybe next, they’ll start a rigorous gym program to get their profits back in shape. 🏋️

Blodgett did hint at some mysterious banking partnerships, which could be the plot twist we never saw coming. Are they partnering with Hogwarts? Spoiler alert: it’s still a secret. 🎩✨

So, here’s to new beginnings. Binance.US may have been down, but they’ve certainly not been out. Watch out, world—this comeback might include a few more cryptocurrencies along the way!

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2025-02-19 17:57