The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Traitor Joes

As a woman who’s had her fair share of dramatic friendships, I can relate to both Emily and Vicki in this scenario. Emily’s honesty about her past struggles is commendable; it takes courage to admit that our own issues can sometimes spill over onto others. On the other hand, Vicki seems to be a character we love to hate, like a strong cheese – a little goes a long way!

When Jenn extends an invitation to yoga practice to the newcomer Katie, Katie responds by sharing that she and her husband Matt engage in intimate moments not once but twice daily. Previously on this season, Alexis Bellino boasted about her and John Janssen’s routine of four daily sexual encounters. During their Big Bear trip, Katie quipped that it was nice to have Alexis there as her intimacy partner might require a break. In the last season of The Real Housewives of Miami, Larsa Pippen disclosed that she and her then-boyfriend Marcus Jordan were having sexual relations an impressive five times per night. It seems that showcasing frequent intimate moments has become a new trend among the Housewives.

I find this situation quite frustrating, mainly because it seems like an exaggerated attempt to impress. Here’s the reason: My reputation as “Horny on Main” has been established for over a decade. I’ve had intimacy with a partner only a handful of times in my life, and those instances were mostly in my younger years. To give you some perspective, I’ve never reached five times in one day. In fact, I used to work at commercial sex parties, but even then, my experiences were limited.

As a passionate film enthusiast, let me clarify this: In no universe, be it biological, physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, or any other aspect such as skin health, bathroom habits, or population demographics, could John Janssen, who is two decades my senior, outperform my monthly intimacy with my husband in a single day, when it comes to Alexis’s Bellino. Simply put, it’s not plausible, given the natural laws of human capacity and compatibility.

It’s puzzling why they boast about this. Quantity of intimacy doesn’t equate to a strong bond. Even if Larsa and Marcus were that active, they’re still separated. Teresa Giudice boasted about her and her new partner, Luis Relais, having sex thrice daily. This doesn’t imply he isn’t a smooth-talking charlatan who might swindle her wealth and leave her bankrupt and forgotten. I just hope the numerous orgasms, urinary tract infections, and leg cramps from those positions are worth it to her.

Regardless of Katie’s deception, it was interesting to gain insights into her personal life, such as her reluctance to marry her first husband due to youthful fear. There was also an intriguing parallel drawn between Katie’s eldest daughter altering her last name and Tamra discussing her estrangement from her own father. Katie appears genuine, authentic, and grounded, which I appreciate. Jenn is particularly suited for this scene as she is one of the kindest Housewives, albeit somewhat naive due to a lifetime of being cared for by either parents or partners. Perhaps a dash more kindness and a touch less conflict would benefit many of these Housewives.

For the remainder of the show, we witness an outrageous rendition of “The Traitors” party hosted by Tamra, which is attended by the other women. The highlight of this game unfolds when Teddi Mellencamp, playing the hostess, warmly welcomes everyone with a nod towards Vicki, saying, “Welcome Housewives… and Vicki.” This moment was indeed one of Teddi’s finest performances on camera, outshining even her role in the Lucy Lucy Apple Juice Saga where she managed to confront Lisa Vanderpump. I find it thrilling to watch two strong personalities like these women engage in a heated argument, much like JJ Squared on a stormy Saturday.

The illegitimate version of the series “Traitors” has a very extravagant presentation. It features women’s faces in picture frames, a lavish mansion for filming, and bartenders dressed in the Traitor’s distinctive cloaks. Yet, it was too elaborate, too perplexing, and simply had too much going on. Not only was the boundary between reality and fiction blurred multiple times, but it happened repeatedly. Essentially, this is a reality show that is based on a game show that mirrors itself, similar to a snake consuming its own tail. However, unlike the traditional symbolism of the snake, this one, much like the Housewives, is under the influence of Vitamin O and isn’t truly hungry for more.

It seemed possible that Peacock was attempting to blend genres, but I find it hard to imagine a Housewives fan who isn’t familiar with The Traitors by now. I can hardly believe they would allow such lax rules. Initially, there was only one Traitor, and then everyone played a game for immunity. However, a second murder occurred because Teddi made an error, leading to another round of suspense. Then, they were supposed to draw a paper from a box containing crickets, but the event didn’t transpire due to Teddi’s overburdened role, which required her to push Tamra into the pool, and (let me catch my breath) it was all quite ridiculous. Yet, Heather’s casting as the Traitor was brilliantly done. No suggestions for improvement. I would be happy to return, but preferably without the crickets.

Despite the event being rather foolish, there were some intriguing conversations to be had. First, Heather persuaded Katie for a chat and extended an invitation to a charity event she was organizing in Sonoma, aiming to assist gay youth. It’s called Straightless Not Dateless, with Sharon Stone being a part of the board. In a private statement, Heather admitted that she isn’t trying to be friends with Katie but wants to ensure Katie isn’t left out. Katie apologized for everything, but Heather interrupted and stated she wasn’t interested in revisiting the matter. In her confidential comments, Katie expressed, “It’s challenging to advance with Heather as she won’t let me finish my thoughts.” I have a sense that these two might engage in a heated debate during the reunion, each from their separate couches.

After Emily and Jenn come next in line. Emily swiftly acknowledges her harsh words towards Jenn for not settling her bills or selling her Rolex at the recent gathering. While Emily was right in this instance, her reaction was more forceful than JD Vance in a Jennifer Convertibles setting, which is peculiar since they’re both from Middletown, Ohio. Emily confesses that she was in the wrong, and she should never have acted in such a manner. However, what sets this apart is that Emily also explains the reason behind her actions. She shares that Jenn has always been cared for, while she had to fend for herself at a young age due to her mother’s lack of responsibility. This upbringing made Emily tough, assertive, and somewhat harsh, and when she was shouting at Jenn, it was more about dealing with her own past struggles. Even though I might not want to be the recipient of someone else’s emotional healing process, at least Emily is taking responsibility for her actions, and it seems like she and Jenn can now move towards a place of mutual understanding.

The final meeting is between the Tres Amigas. I want to start this by saying that this is just the right level of Victoria Denise Gunvalson Jr. that I want on my television. I want her to show up for a party or two, be her crazy workaholic self, and then go back behind the gates of Coto de Caza, where she belongs. Vicki’s like truffle; a little bit makes everything better, but too much is like an umami explosion in your mouth, and no one wants that four times a night unless your name is Alexis “Jesus Juggs” Bellino-Janssen.

Vicki, Tamra, and Shannon gather to discuss the future of their Three Amigas live show, which appears to be as inactive as Henry Kissinger. Tamra suggests that the reason for their falling out was due to Shannon’s drinking and also because Tamra liked one of Alexis’s Instagram posts with a hashtag, such as #FindingFriendships or something similar at the end. It seems they are arguing over likes on a post due to hashtags? Indeed, Tamra is correct, few people actually read the hashtags. If I did, I would be spending nearly a quarter of each day reading “#gay #gayboy #lgbtq #queer #gayhistory #selfies #gymselfies #gymbunnies #instagay #gaytattoo #mustache #hornysluts #lanadelraystan” at the end of every photo in my feed. (I warned you I’m always on the lookout for new content, my algorithm is essentially Housewives memes, shirtless men with beards, and Brock Shay building a new home gym.)

As a film enthusiast, let me put it this way: They began discussing John Janssen, and Shannon voiced her displeasure at the thought of giving him a single penny, asserting she wouldn’t fabricate to clear his name. I can understand her stance. What troubles me is Tamra’s silence on the matter, especially considering her relationship with Shannon. Meanwhile, in another room, Gina, Heather, and Katie were engaged in their own conversation. They confirmed that Shannon was unaware of the existence of these videos. The dilemma they face is whether to inform Shannon or keep quiet. They decided she’s uninformed. Gina finds herself torn between revealing the truth and withholding it, fearing it could make things worse for our dear friend Shannon. However, if Shannon discovers that everyone in the group was privy to the videos before her, it might send her into a whirlwind, turning and twisting like a classic record, leaving her disoriented and confused.

I can’t pause to ponder on that matter, for the game must persist. We all need to focus, whether it’s placing our hands in the cricket box or whatever else. Meanwhile, across town, Alexis Bellino seems engrossed in her fourth cigarette of the night, lowering her Christmas green camisole casually. John Janssen, on the other hand, is taking a shower, possibly some heart medication after such intense exercise for his age.

2024-08-30 06:54

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Traitor Joes

Read More

Minority Mindset