The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: For The Birds

Well now, let me see here… As a seasoned observer of the Real Housewives franchise and a long-time fan of the one and only Andy Cohen, I must say that this whole prank debacle has left me feeling rather bewildered, much like a lost kitten in a room full of rocking chairs.

I’m still so upset over the prank Becky Minkoff and Erin Mew Mew Lichy played in the last episode that I haven’t found the words to discuss it yet. As Madonna once put it, “Express yourself another way… Do my eyebrows.” For now, let’s delve into some personal stories before we revisit this topic later on.

Jessel and Pavit attend a session with their online counselor, Joel, who resides in Mexico City. In the midst of a profound discussion about their relationship and the possibility of having another child, Pavit chooses to indulge in snacks like chips and salsa. I cannot fathom such behavior! If this were me, I would have immediately said, “Put your Doritos Spicy Salsa down, leave this house, and never return!” Thankfully, Joel, being tactful, suggested that Pavit might want to abstain from eating during future sessions instead.

Another piece of information is that he’s almost completely certain about not wanting another child, but his reason seems unusual: it’s difficult for him to find five airline tickets using points or miles at once for trips. Frankly, this doesn’t make sense. I was concerned that the women might overuse their season-one personas, and everyone appears to have managed to steer clear of this pitfall except Pavit. I admire his commitment to the show and his efforts to add some excitement, but I agree with Jessel; we need contrasts; we need complexity; he’s just providing us with the same high point, the same intense brightness. Let’s see your vulnerable side, Pavit. Let’s see you express emotion, and then you’ll truly have earned the title of a Housewife.

Regarding individuals planning to conceive, Brynn too is embarking on her fertility journey, and I find myself curious. One question that comes to mind is why did she choose to freeze her eggs in London? Isn’t it cold enough in Manhattan for that purpose? If the cost was prohibitive in New York City, wouldn’t New Jersey be an affordable alternative, given its proximity and the convenience of the PATH train, which I believe costs just 75 cents or so? Surely they can’t charge more than that, right? After all, you do end up in New Jersey.

She informs her former fiance, Gideon who resembles Hugh Grant, that she’s hosting a wine-tasting event in her apartment, which we’ve never seen her earn through work. This intrigues him to visit. Upon arrival, she’s with a two-year-old child she borrowed from a friend. She claims it’s for co-parenting practice, but they spend the afternoon in the kitchen sipping champagne while the kid plays in Brynn’s living room. The necessity of his presence is questionable, and there are concerns about the impact on him spending an afternoon neglected by a celebrity figure.

In my perspective, Brynn is inviting Gideon over because she’s seeking his sperm donation to fertilize some of her frozen eggs, hoping for potential embryos in case she doesn’t find a partner. This arrangement includes co-parenting together. My main query here revolves around the idea that if she yearns for a baby so deeply, why not opt for a sperm donor and embrace single parenthood by choice? I personally know at least three women who have done just that, and given my stance as a gay separatist, it’s evident that there are countless others making the same decision.

The next biggest question is if she thinks that Gideon is such a great guy, wants to raise children with him, wants him in her life forever, why doesn’t she just, I don’t know, marry him? Like, what is wrong that it broke up their relationship? Is it just that he doesn’t live in New York? She seems to be spending a lot of time in London (which is getting its own show) how hard could that be? They let absolute trash into that country and never kick them out. How do I know? I am that trash!

The last personal story we get, other than Jenna’s admirable shiner from getting beaned by Brynn during dodgeball, is Mel and Racquel going to a sex store in an office building, which sounds like the start of a Stefan sketch. They say it’s for their engagement party, which is themed after vogueing balls, but why are they buying collars and whips? I don’t know. All I know is that I would like to be brought back as a hot lesbian so that I could have sex with Racq-Mel, which is the couple’s portmanteau I just made up for them.

Ugh, now we have to talk about this stupid “Becky Minkoff is pregnant by another man” prank, and I just don’t want to. The episode starts revealing that, yes, it is a prank, but it’s even more complicated than we thought it was. Erin told Racq-Mel on their double date that it was a prank, so she always knew. Brynn tells everyone that after lunch with Jessel, she and Erin had a drink, and Erin told her the part about Becky not knowing the dad was a prank. Brynn says that is why she was telling everyone at dodgeball about it and hyping up the fact that Becky and her husband have a freak number higher than Kandi Burruss’s, which is higher than Woody Harrelson’s at a Cypress Hill concert.

What’s the takeaway from everything that happened? Frankly, I’m unsure. Just as Andy Cohen expressed in last week’s Watch What Happens Live, I’m not a fan of pranks, and this one turned out terribly. Jessel, Sai, and Racquel didn’t find it amusing at all, with Racquel even questioning why such behavior is typical among straight women and failing to understand it. The most harmful part comes when Becky tells the group during dodgeball that they have learned a lesson, and the lesson she suggests is not to trust either Jessel or Brynn.

There are numerous factors compelling me not to tell Becky with the lackluster hairstyle to sit down, but perhaps this is the most significant one. To begin, Erin was the one who disclosed the pregnancy news, so if Jessel and Brynn discussed it during lunch (on camera), wouldn’t they think they could pass on the information? Considering that the entire world would know six months later, it seems plausible. Moreover, Jessel didn’t reveal any details, so equating her with Brynn in this situation appears unfair. Lastly, Erin never informed Becky (or anyone else) about Brynn knowing the secret, and when asked if Brynn was involved, she either denied it or tried to minimize the issue.

Erin expresses in a private conversation that she doesn’t believe Brynn was intentionally harmful by spreading the information, but rather enjoys sharing gossip. In essence, if I were told my new coworker had an affair with another man because they’re a swinger, I would share that juicy piece of news with everyone in my contacts and possibly even post it as a blind item on my Instagram story, revealing the identity when people message me about it. What a tasty rumor indeed!

The situation is causing distress among the women, particularly Brynn and Jessel, as they claim it was a harmless prank. However, their explanation shifts to suggesting it was a test to identify the “mole” within their group, which seems odd since there’s no food in the house where Erin resides because she doesn’t cook. Given her inability to control her personal matters, Erin is likened to a malfunctioning adult diaper. In her stylish new confessional setup reminiscent of a lively brothel sofa, Sai comments that Erin has failed her own test. Indeed, this description fits as Erin talks excessively and carelessly, much like a leaky faucet. Unlike Brynn who openly admits to stirring up drama, Erin portrays herself as an innocent victim, denying any wrongdoing and refusing to apologize or acknowledge others’ feelings.

In this debate, we find ourselves faced with two individuals who present their perspectives in distinct ways. On one hand, there’s Brynn, known for embellishing stories or, at the very least, presenting them in a highly dramatic manner. On the other side, we have Erin, who appears to be forgetful about details, as noted by Brynn, or omits crucial evidence in her arguments. Essentially, Brynn tends to exaggerate and Erin seems to understate. The question is: Who should we trust? Which side are we leaning towards? It’s like trying to decide which of the two pigeons has a leaky memory. However, as I suspected after last week’s episode, this entire prank storyline feels more like a waste of time.

2024-11-20 08:54

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: For The Birds

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