The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Sister Narcissists

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The argument between Lisa and Larsa was similar to the meme of two people excessively emphasizing “exactly” while accusing each other of being narcissists and poor friends. On another note, there’s a meme featuring Spider-Man pointing at himself, which perfectly encapsulates what happened at Alexia’s “It’s Not About Todd” Goddess Party and Seafood Soirée. At this event, some of the most self-absorbed women on television were gathered, with each one telling the others the next day that they are more self-involved than their peers. One would think that at a gathering of such self-centered individuals, they’d be competing for the title of most self-involved, but surprisingly, that wasn’t the case.

The story unfolds as Alexia presents her group to Daniel Chidiac, her life coach who seems to have everyone’s attention, especially Adriana, who can’t help but make flirtatious remarks towards him. To add to that, she finds a shirtless photo of Daniel and confirms it lives up to expectations. They all explore the peculiar villa, which serves as an event venue, a source of Instagram-worthy content, and the stage for the controversial new “Hercules” musical production. As Alexia had foreseen, at least one participant, Lisa Hochstein, is more engrossed in checking her appearance in mirrors instead of reading the quotes about narcissism they’re supposed to contemplate. It turns out that Lisa can’t resist primping in any reflective surface, even those as unusual as her boyfriend Jody’s eyes.

Following that, Daniel invites the ladies to participate in a game. He’ll announce a characteristic, and each lady will place a marker in one of the labeled vases, choosing the one who embodies the trait most. Marysol commented, “I thought I played rough games. This one takes it to another level.” This remark is from the woman who created the popular game show Who Here Do You Trust the Least?, now easily playable at home.

One characteristic is “the one who frequently discusses herself,” yet surprisingly, neither Larsa nor Guerdy receive a vote in Lisa’s vase. Really? I would have thought differently based on the show.

The next trait is “easily offended.” Lisa takes this one too, but with only three flags this time. Next up is “failure to acknowledge wrongdoing,” and despite Adriana and Marysol voting for each other, it goes to Lisa once more.

As tensions rise in the voting process, Daniel, with an endearing accent that hints at Kylie Minogue’s remixes and chest hair, gently informs the ladies that this activity isn’t about criticizing one another. Honestly, sir, haven’t you ever watched a single episode of the Real Housewives? Were you under the impression that you were engaging in a game with the cast of Married to Jesus, a series centered around a group of nuns who took a vow of silence? Of course, this was bound to involve arguments, shouting, and accusations. To be fair, these women could gather for a game of Parcheesi, and it would still escalate in the same manner.

The last category is labeled as “playing the victim,” and before any voting can occur, Lisa and Larsa are arguing loudly and saying hurtful things to each other. Lisa claims that Larsa said Marcus wasn’t good enough for her even when she had large breasts, leaving everyone puzzled. Alexia urges Daniel to take charge of the group, but he refuses as he knows they’re beyond saving from their self-centered behavior (which we wouldn’t want it any other way). However, when they tally the scores, Lisa either won or lost again, but she’s upset. It’s Adriana who has to remind everyone about the recent loss of her father by Larsa and asks them to stop being insensitive towards her. Am I siding with Adriana? Is she acting as a voice of reason now? What kind of parallel universe have we entered, and what does this world’s Lea Black look like?

Lisa is primarily dismayed because she’s bearing the brunt of the blame while Larsa seems to be getting off scot-free. It’s fair to say she has a point. In this ‘Narcissism Olympics’, if Lisa is the gold medalist, then Larsa isn’t far behind, potentially taking home both silver and bronze medals. Her double medals might outweigh Lisa’s single one. Then, Lisa highlights all the wrongdoings Larsa has inflicted upon women over the years, which we see in a poignant montage. It’s reminiscent of old E! commercials showing snippets of songs and titles, but instead of “Dancing Queen” or “Waterloo”, it’s clips of Larsa accusing Julia of kissing a man, suggesting Dr. Nicole slept her way through the hospital, and informing everyone about Guerdy having cancer.

In my humble opinion as a film critic, there’s a notable distinction to be made. Unlike Larsa, who undeniably plays a malicious role on this series and perhaps beyond, this narrative wasn’t an exploration of the most villainous character; instead, it delved into the complexities of narcissism. It seems Lisa is taken aback that Larsa escapes criticism while she faces backlash for being a narcissist due to her excessive self-discussion. Well, Lisa, let me clarify: being a narcissist entails an unhealthy obsession with oneself, which is precisely what you’re experiencing when you focus too much on yourself. Hope this sheds some light!

Guerdy feels that both women should reconcile, so she arranges for them to sit together on a couch and positions herself nearby as a mediator. It’s quite peculiar. She seems to be repeating the things the women say to each other, almost like she’s playing a role. She’s coaching Larsa to apologize more and urging them not to let Marcus have the upper hand in their discussion. She becomes so engrossed that her involvement is becoming a distraction, much like trying to have a deep conversation while a waiter keeps interrupting with requests for your order.

After the group splits up, we find individual storylines unfolding. Julia consults with a social worker regarding her adoptions, Adriana educates her dog from a psychology manual, and Stephanie dines with her parents to discuss her strained relationships with her sisters. It’s all rather uneventful. Guerdy and Russell seek counseling for their relationship issues, as Guerdy fears that his role as caretaker during her cancer may have altered their partnership permanently. The whole scenario seems somewhat extraneous. If Guerdy and Russell are experiencing marital troubles, it seems every couple in the world is at risk of divorce. Eventually, Russell expresses, “You always say I’m traumatized. I’m not traumatized; I’m amazed. I’m proud of you. I’m like, ‘That’s my wife.'” Russell might not talk much, but each word he speaks is like a precious gem.

In the end, Lisa and Larsa find themselves over lunch, repeatedly echoing each other in a playful exchange that feels almost like a comedic skit. The scene kicks off with Larsa claiming that Jody alleged the paparazzi snapped Marcus enjoying his air conditioner instead of doing drugs in the south of France. Lisa counters by stating they heard this from a paparazzo, to which Larsa retorts that Lisa is telling tales. Larsa then asserts that she’s simply a better friend than Lisa, but this doesn’t necessarily make Lisa a bad friend. However, both women seem to be lacking in the listening department and aren’t keen on apologizing or considering others’ feelings. It appears that Larsa is firing off her criticisms much like Charles Barkley would during his playing days with the Chicago Bulls – swift and impactful!

When Lisa inquires from Larsa if she recognizes herself in her behavior, Larsa responds by stating that Lisa appears to have a limited number of friends, as no one in their circle wants to converse with her anymore. This may not be too far off the mark, considering Lisa’s tendency to focus excessively on herself, causing offense, playing the victim, and exhibiting other self-centered traits, which everyone has pointed out repeatedly following the game. As Heather Dubrow wisely puts it, when everyone says you’re dead, it’s time to rest. However, Lisa seems oblivious to this advice; instead, she continues to seek attention by asking someone to take her photos and preparing her FaceTune application.

Later on, Lisa quips, “If I’m a narcissist, you’re a fan of Larsa.” That joke was pretty amusing, but let me tell you, she perfected that line over three days with her stylist. She had been holding onto it just as firmly as I am sitting on this couch. (Feel free to DM me for the photos.) This is why Lisa is often tardy; she and her close friend are brainstorming sharp comebacks that she might need, but Lisa tends to forget them by the time she gets to filming. However, this one was so well-crafted, so brief, even Lisa couldn’t botch it up.

In a different wording, Lisa excuses herself to visit the restroom, but her true intention is to contact Alexia and verify that none of the other women dislike her. Alexia comforts her, yet Lisa persists with her chatter, causing distress to an unlucky lady hiding in a stall. (One might wonder if those orthopedic shoes had a contract.) The scene then shifts to Larsa, engrossed in Donald Trump videos on her phone at the table. Quite the contrast! Subsequently, we find Lisa arguing with Alexia over speakerphone at the restaurant. “It’s unfair that she calls me self-centered,” Lisa complains. However, the manager approaches her and requests that she take her call outside due to the disturbance. Evidently, such behavior doesn’t help dispel the rumors of her being self-absorbed. In the meantime, Larsa has switched to a makeup tutorial on her phone.

Lisa comes back to the table and tells Larsa that she’s hurt because of something Larsa said. Larsa asks how she could have hurt Lisa by telling her she needed to be a better friend. This situation makes me laugh because it seems like they always prove others right with their actions. However, neither of them ever admits fault or apologizes. In this instance, Larsa eventually gives in and apologizes for name-calling and being insensitive about Lisa’s father’s passing. Lisa then apologizes for not supporting her with Marcus and explains that she would have acted differently if she knew he was behaving so poorly. And just like that, they make up! Larsa admits that she enjoys looking at their shared photos on Instagram.

They rise from the table, embrace, and wobble unsteadily towards their vehicles, their precarious heels and impractical skirts adding to the spectacle. The only sounds they hear are their own footsteps echoing on the sidewalk, the jingle of phone charms against their iPhones, and faintly, from a distant location, comes a buzz like a hive and a melodic hum as soothing as honey: “Exactly.

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2025-07-17 05:55