The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Crazy Yacht from Hell

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This week on the beloved show “Wealthy Women’s Adventures”, the wealthy women embarked on an excursion to the beautiful island of St Lucia. Along with them were their assistants, including Erika’s assistant Laia who doubles as her makeup artist. However, I must interrupt the wealthy women here. While Glam and even Erika’s assistant Laia are intriguing characters, Avi doesn’t seem to contribute much, and he’s not nearly as charming or entertaining as he and Sutton believe him to be. I find Boz’s right hand, Nico, to be twice as appealing and amusing as he perceives himself to be. Nevertheless, taking photos of Boz in an intricate swimsuit for social media does not justify a full-fledged trip to a Caribbean island. What else did the wealthy women do? They instructed their brand managers to wait while they disrobed, then left them on speakerphone for 15 minutes as they took vitamins and supplements, applied lotions and oils, and drank various concoctions, including juices and Kool-Aid.

Primarily, the women seemed to critique Ms. Sutton Stracke, which, since I’ve never been fond of her on the show, gave me great satisfaction. The first dinner in St. Lucia was particularly enlightening, as we observed Sutton echoing the ladies’ remarks as they were being made.

The gathering initiates with an amusing anecdote shared by Jennifer Tilly about her Broadway experience in the 2000s, where she had to bare all – a sight her boyfriend first saw. Unfortunately, our setting doesn’t allow for such pleasant moments. Instead, Dorit confronts Sutton, expressing concern over Sutton’s unkind behavior over several months. Dorit wishes to mend their relationship, but it seems Sutton is resistant. Sutton attempts to justify by suggesting everyone in the group has let each other down at some point. However, just because everyone has acted poorly before, it doesn’t make Sutton’s current actions acceptable.

Later on, Dorit brings up the sisterhood that Sutton initiated earlier in the season, which wasn’t desired by anyone and was imposed upon everyone. Her intention was for the group to discuss their disagreements without causing harm. Dorit then calls out hypocrisy, stating that whenever she tries to engage with Sutton in conversation, Sutton ends it abruptly. In response, Sutton quickly attempts to end the discussion. “I won’t go through this again,” she says. “We’re not going to keep harping on me.

I find Sutton’s argumentative style on the show quite frustrating. She often claims to want open discussions, but ends up saying she won’t engage when topics are brought up. Instead, she seems to prefer feigning a desire for conversation, only to switch tactics and present herself as the victim. For instance, while she portrays herself as the one being attacked when she confronts Erika, Kyle, Dorit, and others, her accusatory behavior during these encounters is simply posed as inquiries.

Dorit swiftly responds by pointing out that Sutton consistently ends up as the one blamed. To add a touch of irony, Dorit remarks that whenever Sutton needs to accept accountability, she transforms into the final surviving saint in the Catholic Church. It’s quite rich for Dorit to make such comments given her history with Garcelle, but within this group, there seems to be an abundance of hypocrisy and Jen Tilly’s Suitcase Candy to spare.

In a more recent turn of events, Sutton expresses regret for the remark she made a few episodes ago concerning Dorit’s wallet not aligning with her own style. Similarly, Dorit extends an apology for the off-color joke she hurled at Sutton regarding her drink lacking alcohol, stating that she would have promptly apologized if Sutton hadn’t referred to her as rude. In response, Sutton admits that she could have handled the situation more gracefully.

At this point, it seems that Dorit isn’t accepting Sutton’s apology. To be honest, I think she’s right not to. In her reflection, Sutton admits, “I don’t regret it. I won’t regret it. In fact, I’m proud I said it.” It’s unclear whether these confessionals were recorded before or after the apology was given, but considering Sutton’s statement about being proud of her words, it seems that her feelings haven’t changed since the apology.

Erika points out that Sutton often delivers insults followed by apologies, making it difficult for the other women to determine whether they should trust the apology or the initial hurtful remark. In essence, Erika suggests that it’s hard to know if Sutton is offering a genuine apology or just another low blow in disguise.

Throughout the entire dinner, both Boz and Garcelle have been persistently urging their friends to find common ground, trying to bring them to an understanding or truce. Garcelle directly confronts Sutton about her comment regarding Dorit’s wallet, commending her for finally acknowledging it. Meanwhile, Boz advises Dorit to accept Sutton’s apology instead of moving on to other topics. However, Kathy incorrectly states that “Rome wasn’t conquered in a day.” Actually, Kathy, Rome wasn’t built in a day; construction takes an extended period, but as the Real Housewives series has demonstrated, conflicts can be resolved quite swiftly.

Later in their shared space, Dorit finds herself confronting Boz. After casting a disapproving glance at Erika for moving her hair extensions onto the coffee table, Dorit accuses Dorit of pushing Sutton, despite her previous apology. In a private conversation, Boz reiterates, through a confessional, something that has long been evident: Dorit struggles with both giving and receiving genuine apologies.

For Garcelle and Sutton, their dynamic in their shared space is subtly altered due to Garcelle’s belief that Sutton wasn’t supportive when needed. During dinner, Boz revealed to the group that he saw Mauricio and someone glamorous at Soho House in Malibu, which was too fancy for even Boz’s exclusive membership. In response, Garcelle revisited the topic of Morgan and Kyle, effectively silencing it again. Later on, Sutton supported Kyle by suggesting it was okay not to disclose certain aspects of her life to the group and the public.

In the room later on, Garçelle expresses her disappointment towards Sutton, stating that while Sutton often confides in her privately about Morgan, she’s reluctant to discuss it directly with Kyle. This is a recurring issue I’ve noticed with Sutton’s approach to Housewives – she’ll share a lot with Garçelle or privately in her interviews, but not openly with others. However, this time, I’ll let it slide. Sutton clarifies that she had a conversation with Kyle about the matter and learned that Kyle wouldn’t disclose any more, so she’s not pursuing the topic as forcefully as Garçelle continues to.

The following day, on the boat, Sutton attempts to apologize to Dorit once more, however, this time in a setting where Dorit and Kyle are absent, which supports Dorit’s argument that Sutton’s apology was not sincere; rather, it was an attempt to save face with the other women (and also for the audience). If Sutton truly wanted Dorit to believe her apology was genuine, she would have expressed it privately. This point seems to be lost on Sutton, and Erika highlights this by stating that if Sutton meant her apology sincerely, she wouldn’t feel the need to repeat it in front of a group without any prompting.

Erika calls out Sutton’s behavior towards women, particularly when they’re going through tough times. She notes that Sutton has done this to her, Kyle, and now Dorit. By showcasing instances where Sutton acted kind initially but turned hostile later, Erika suggests a pattern in Sutton’s interactions with the women. While some women may have been less open about their situations, the recurring behavior is evident. Erika also highlights how Sutton seems friendly at first but eventually becomes an adversary, and we see examples of this dynamic between them. However, we don’t see Sutton offering Dorit advice on her divorce during a boat trip, only to turn against her later.

I wholeheartedly agree with the insights these ladies have shared about Sutton. Indeed, it appears that she exhibits unpredictable behavior, her words and actions often mismatch, she tends to portray herself as a victim, and she’s prone to shutting down discussions. In this instance, it seems Sutton is attempting to halt the dialogue by asserting that these women won’t judge her, yet history suggests otherwise. A phrase she frequently employs, “Pick on someone else,” could even serve as a catchy pop single for her.

However, if Kyle, Dorit, and Erika are all expressing similar experiences with Sutton, isn’t it prudent for her to at least contemplate their perspectives? It doesn’t imply she’s a bad person or a despicable human being; instead, it signifies that she, like the rest of us, is imperfect and real. We all should examine our patterns, some of which may be detrimental, and find ways to rectify those flaws.

Regrettably, Sutton, who struggles as much with humor as she does with criticism, finds this introspection unbearable.

In the end, Dorit queries Sutton about proceeding together, and Sutton, finding humor in Dorit’s inconsistent accent, replies that she doesn’t want to. Sutton has withdrawn her apology, as Erika and Dorit noted, because it was never sincere in the first place. Sutton is so focused on how she appears, both to the other women and the wider audience, that she constantly attempts to do what she believes is appropriate, always trying to hit the mark. However, if her truth is the target, she will always hit it. If she didn’t feel regretful for her words, then she should have said what she said in the confessional directly to Dorit. Her behavior is always uncertain, always fluctuating.

In a different tone, Sutton asserted to the gathering, “It shouldn’t be Sutton under scrutiny in this context,” however, it was Erika, Kyle, and Dorit who found themselves in the hot seat at a dinner, a trial of sorts for each. This reality show has a unique trait; everyone gets their turn with the proverbial hot potato, and it’s about how one manages that burden. Erika didn’t handle it gracefully, while Kyle continues to try and shift it onto someone else without success. Dorit is making an effort to accept responsibility, though her attempts are minimal compared to Jennifer Tilly’s numerous bubbles in her nude scene. However, Sutton stubbornly denies the possibility of her ever receiving the hot potato. She sees herself as flawless, believing there is no room for error in her case, and she won’t entertain any contrary opinions.

When all her evasive tactics – deflecting, ending discussions abruptly, feigning victimhood – prove ineffective, she resorts to her last tactic: storming off. She descends into the lower decks of the catamaran, flings open a porthole, and lets the salty breeze caress her face. Over and over again, she reassures herself that she’s flawless and they are mistaken. Her words become like a constant rhythm, echoing in her mind, much like the relentless crash of waves on the shore or the jarring jolts from the boat’s wake. Perhaps it is this repetition that holds her back, maybe the waves sustaining her aren’t beneficial, perhaps she needs to let go, sink deep, deeper than where even light can penetrate, and only when she is about to lose consciousness, sense of place, and self-control will she experience a moment of clarity.

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2025-03-19 05:56