The Pillow of Wealth: How Metaplanet Became a Bitcoin Buffet!

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Ah, gentle readers! Let us regale you with the curious tale of Metaplanet, which, like a glutton at a banquet, has bolstered its coffers by purchasing a veritable mountain of Bitcoin, worth a staggering $25.6 million! 🤑

In its benevolent whimsy, the firm acquired an additional 269.43 BTC, each adorned with a price tag fit for royalty at $95,000 a piece! Is this not an exquisite play on the stage of monetary folly? 🎭

Details From the Grand Purchase

Our illustrious CEO, Simon Gervovich, took to the public square on this fateful day, the 17th of February, proclaiming that their bounty now exceeds 2,031.41 BTC! One would think they are hosting a grand feast for the entire Roman Empire! 🍷

With an investment totaling $163.3 million, one wonders if their ledger is but a mere scroll, unrolling endlessly with each extravagant purchase. They prattle on about a BTC Yield of 15.3% for the first quarter of 2025, surely a sign from the heavens or perhaps just a fine instance of coin-collecting zeal! 💰

Picture this: in mid-2024, they possessed a meager 141 BTC, yet within a twinkling of an eye, they ballooned to more than 1,760. Has their vault sprouted a life of its own? Now, they have assumed the title of Japan’s premier Bitcoin magnate! 👑

In a feat worthy of the greatest market jesters, Metaplanet’s 2024 financial scrolls revealed an unrealized gain of $36 million on their burgeoning Bitcoin trove. One can only wonder if this is a grand act of sorcery or the mere fortune of madcap gambles! 🎩

Not only do they conquer the world of Bitcoin, but they have also enthroned themselves upon the stock market, becoming Japan’s shining star with a remarkable gain of over 4,000% in just under a year! It seems the fortune-tellers were right, indeed! 🌟

Bonds and Future Schemes

With all this gold, how do they fund their escapades, you ask? Through a delightful concoction of stock rights and bond issuance! Their latest decree involves issuing the 6th Series of Ordinary Bonds to the oddly named EVO FUND, which raised a charming $26.3 million. Perhaps it’s a jest meant only for the cleverest pensioners! 🐦

Alas, these bonds are devoid of the sweet nectar of interest, leaving the bondholders with their fingertips absolutely itching for more! Gervovich, in a stroke of genius, announced ambitions to escalate their Bitcoin tally to a majestic 10,000 BTC by the year’s end. Will they recruit an army of Bitcoin knights to aid them in this noble quest? ⚔️

Thus, dear readers, the fleet of Metaplanet sails forth into the wild waters of Bitcoin, seeking riches and glory. Mayhap we shall follow this farcical journey to its ludicrous end! 😄

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2025-02-17 15:35