The Monkey Kills, Ranked: From Harpoon Intro to Cheerleader Carnage

In Osgood Perkins’ version of The Monkey, it seems like one death leads to another. From the chilling harpoon gun opening scene to the terrifying fishing hook nightmare, here’s our list ranking all the gruesome deaths.

People who’ve watched Longlegs, or any other Stephen King adaptation, might have suspected that The Monkey could be quite aggressive. However, none of us ever imagined that such a small creature could inflict the level of destruction we witnessed.

After wiping the gore from my eyes, I must admit that the relentless violence in this fresh game might have left me a bit disoriented. Fear not though, as I’ve been meticulously noting down each gruesome demise and ranking them based on their disturbing factor.

Here’s all the kills in The Monkey ranked. (Warning: major spoilers ahead!)

12. Harpoon gun intro

In the initial scene, the first violent act unfolds as Adam Scott, who plays Hal and Bill’s father, inadvertently enters a peculiar shop. He is under pressure to get rid of a real monkey, instead of a toy, but encounters bewilderment and laughter from the store proprietor.

As I casually mention the store’s return policy, a tiny drum-beating monkey sets off an unexpected chain reaction that culminates in a harpoon gun discharging. In a split second, I swiftly dodge, but the shopkeeper finds himself impaled by a hook straight through his chest. Quite the thrilling opening!

11. Bowling ball redux

In the game called ‘The Monkey’, there are two instances where a bowling ball caused fatalities, and both were accounted for by Bill. The second one is the one that left a lasting impact. As Hal and Bill managed to reconcile following years of discord, an unexpected trap set up in Bill’s own warehouse ended up claiming his life.

Up above, something moves, causing a bowling ball from a trap (for a touch of dramatic effect, it’s described as her ball) to fall, striking him with deadly force. His skull and facial features were turned into mush as a result. If one were to reflect on the consequences of his actions, this could be seen as a fitting end for someone who was responsible for so much death and devastation.

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10. Estate agent shooting

As a passionate enthusiast, I can’t help but recall an intriguing incident – the unexpected demise of an estate agent triggered by an old, forgotten rifle. It might seem rather straightforward compared to other entries on this list, but let me tell you, it left quite an indelible mark.

Now, picture myself, stepping into a familiar setting – my childhood home. My mission? To track down the elusive monkey before it causes any more harm. The suspense was palpable, and every corner held the potential for discovery.

Unfortunately for him, he’s standing near the well-dressed real estate agent when she opens a locked cabinet, causing a gun to slip out and accidentally fire, hitting her squarely between the eyes. As she suddenly collapses (there are quite a few explosive scenes in this movie), Hal finds himself drenched in her blood, unaware that his teenage son is obliviously waiting downstairs.

9. Aneurysm while baking

In a less joyful manner than amusing, some deaths are heartrendingly tragic, and Lois, Hal and Bill’s mom, falls into this category. As she was preparing a cake upstairs in the kitchen, Hal hurried downstairs to request the monkey to harm his brother. However, this intelligent simian had other plans, and when Bill arrived home from school, he found his mother seizing up in the kitchen, holding an icing bag instead.

As she spins around, blood pours out from her eyes and ears, indicating something severely amiss. Moments later, an explosion erupts, making it difficult to discern the events due to the combination of blood and debris. However, we learn later that she succumbed to a sudden rupture in a blood vessel in her brain, a swift and tragic end.

8. Hibachi dinner gone wrong

One intriguing aspect showcased in the preview continues to be a dominant force. Following Hal and Bill’s initial meeting with the monkey, they were treated to dinner by their babysitter, Annie Wilkes (different from the popular Annie Wilkes from Stephen King’s novels).

In the hibachi restaurant, trouble arises when the overzealous chef showcases his abilities too vigorously. In a flash of enthusiasm, he slices off poor Annie’s head with an agile knife stroke. Unfortunately, her head lands on the heated grill, spoiling everyone’s enjoyment and expensive meal.

7. Town massacre

Among the most impressive actions secures its status primarily due to its magnitude. In an ill-advised attempt, Bill attempts to coerce the monkey into striking its drum, but this action only serves to agitate the monkey significantly. To put it simply, the enraged monkey wipes out the entire town’s population.

Catastrophes occur: aircraft crash, blazes ignite, and chilling cries echo through the surroundings as Hal stands aghast. The extent of the destruction and loss of life underscores the immense power hidden within this small drum-playing monkey.

6. Time for a dip

In another familiar scene from a trailer, Hal steps outside his motel, tense from Bill’s unsettling phone call. Suddenly, an air conditioner unit tumbles off the roof and lands with a thud. A puddle near it sparking with electricity, he stands frozen as a stunning woman poised to dive into the pool, adding to his growing apprehension.

His calls didn’t manage to halt her in time, and she plunged into the electrified water. The scene was already quite grim, but it was the woman’s instant disintegration into tiny, fleshly fragments upon impact with the water that truly made this moment the highlight.

5. Cheerleader accident

In the movie’s climactic scene, the grisly incident involving the cheerleader bus leaves a powerful impact. After their escape, Hal and Petey navigate through the devastated remnants of the town following the monkey’s rampage. The landscape is filled with lifeless bodies, suggesting a grim outcome for everyone. Despite this bleak scenario, at least their relationship seems to be holding up relatively well.

Following them leaving, a troop of cheerleaders from earlier in the film whizzes by in a bus, waving and yelling from the windows. However, my joy is abruptly cut short when a speeding truck swerves into our path, both silencing their cheers and causing a sudden halt to their bodies. Rough stuff indeed.

4. Fish hook fire dance

Following the departure of her husband and the relocation of Hal and Bill, Aunt Ida finds herself living alone. One evening, after hearing an unusual noise, she descends into the basement armed with a gun. Unfortunately, an aged stair creaks under her weight, causing her to trip and tumble into a container filled with fish hooks beneath it.

If the sharp points of fish hooks weren’t bad enough, things got worse. Just before she checked the stove for leaks, Aunt Ida tended to her wounds with rubbing alcohol. Moments later, she caught fire while standing near the stove and ran out of the house, tripping and falling onto a “For Sale” sign as if it were a spit holding a cooked chicken. Oh dear Aunt Ida, that must have been painful!

3. Bowling ball wishes

In a surprising twist, it’s revealed that one of the most dramatic killings never truly occurs. Young Hal imagines scenarios where his life would be more pleasant without his boorish elder brother, and in these daydreams, he contemplates the idea of eliminating him.

In simpler terms, the scene shows Bill peacefully sleeping, only for Hal to pretend to drop a bowling ball (the one used in the second kill) on his head. This results in an unpleasant display of blood, leaving Hal standing over him. However, it’s important to note that Bill wakes up from this imagined scenario in reality. Bill may be troublesome, but the brutality of child-on-child violence continues to surprise us.

2. The bee’s knees

Imagine having a terrible day with just one bee sting being unbearable. But consider this: if an entire hive were to attack you, it would be even worse! That’s exactly what happens to Ricky when he kidnaps Hal and Petey in order to reclaim his monkey. While they wait in the car, a beehive falls from a tree above, landing on the vehicle.

As a gamer, I found myself in a terrifying scenario: a swarm of bees, spotting a gaping hole in my windshield, barreled straight towards me, flying right into my mouth. The stings and buzzing filled my throat, choking me mercilessly. By the time the horror ended, the bees were scurrying out from my skin and jaw, painting a gruesome picture that haunts my dreams. It’s the stuff of nightmares.

1. Wild horses

Title winner: Oz Perkins’ meal

In first position on our list, we find the film’s director (portraying Uncle Chip), praised particularly for the graphic and disturbing portrayal of his character’s demise. Following the passing of their mother, siblings Hal and Bill find themselves living with their aunt and uncle. After another mischief by Bill, it is ultimately the monkey who suffers the most gruesome fate.

Although there’s no dedicated scene showing it, the narrative is accompanied by a voiceover and a quick image that clearly illustrates the event – Chip unfortunately met his end during a camping trip when he was crushed by a herd of panicked horses while asleep inside his sleeping bag.

On the ground lies a gory, meaty-looking sleeping bag, pulsating occasionally with fragments of Chip’s body scattering across the scene as he endures more attacks. The grotesque imagery in this waking nightmare is far grimmer and authentic than any vision that Final Destination might offer.

The Monkey is playing in theaters now.

To delve deeper, explore the interpretation of The Monkey’s Ending. Additionally, discover insights about the novel it originates from, and catch a glimpse of the 2025 horror films that have us thrilled!

2025-02-21 12:24