Key Takeaways
Why did the crypto market stage a relief rally, darling? 🎭
Our dear old friend, the Fed, trimmed the interest rate by a quaint quarter point-how generous!-and hinted at more cuts in that gloriously vague “future.” Bitcoin, never one to be left out of a party, decided to sashay above $117K, as if to say, “I’m back, darlings!”
What’s the next act after the Fed’s rate decision? 🎬
Now, all eyes will pivot to the crypto ETF approvals and the ever-so-dramatic market structure bill, the mid-term catalysts on this grand stage. Will they deliver a standing ovation or a polite cough? Stay tuned.
As predicted by no one who truly matters, the Fed trimmed rates by 25 basis points and sweet-talked about more cuts in 2025, citing a labor market that’s decided to take a leisurely stroll. Markets whirled and twirled immediately after the news, but Bitcoin – bless its bullish heart – waltzed back above $117K for the first time since late August. Bravo, BTC! 👏
Top performers in this dazzling recital? Avalanche [AVAX], who soared 8% to $34 as if powered by helium, and Hyperliquid [HYPE], jogging up 6% toward $60 with a cheeky grin. Binance Coin [BNB], never one to be overshadowed, strutted a 4% rally aiming for the $1000 peak – a psychological Everest if ever there was one.
With such a macro backdrop, one must ask: Is the crypto market primed for its legendary “Upbtober” encore and a smashing Q4 finale? Hold onto your hats!
SEC ready to ‘open the crypto ETF floodgates’ – Umbrellas advisable ☂️
Peering into the crystal ball, the market might just benefit from a deluge of upcoming crypto ETF approvals. Fancy that! 🎩
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), in what can only be described as a daring act of bureaucratic whimsy, approved a new listing standard designed to fast-track spot crypto ETF approvals-especially if they’re best friends with Futures for over six months. Quite the exclusive club.
Paul Atkins, Chair of the SEC, declared this will promote “innovation” and “investor choice.” Or in layman’s terms: more products, more confusion, more money.
“This approval helps to maximize investor choice and foster innovation by streamlining the listing process and reducing barriers to access digital asset products within America’s trusted capital markets.”
Meanwhile, ETF whisperer Nate Geraci chimed in, foretelling an unleashed torrent. Cryptos, beware the flood! 🌊
“So what happens from here…Crypto ETF floodgates are about to open. Expect an absolute deluge of new filings & launches.”

Experts blame the new standard on most of the lengthy crypto ETF delays. But now, with the green light, these 90+ pending crypto ETFs might just get the VIP treatment this Q4. Fascinating how patience pays off.
And for those who fancy a multi-crypto buffet, Grayscale’s multi-crypto index fund-with Solana [SOL] and Ripple [XRP] as main course-has finally emerged from the bureaucratic shadows to begin trading after a suitably scandalous delay.
Hyperliquid’s rival ASTER blasts off with a 380% rally – Houston, we have liftoff! 🚀
In a plot twist worthy of a Noel Coward farce, Aster [ASTER], the plucky upstart rival to Hyperliquid, backed by the ever-ambitious Binance czar, Changpeng Zhao (CZ), exploded +380% in a single day after debuting. Talk about making an entrance! 🌟
CZ trumpeted this as a “good start,” but some critics sulked in the shadows, accusing him of Machiavellian scheming to reclaim dominance over the perps market. Spice, drama, and leverage – what more could one want?

Aster is hailed as the sparkling “next-generation” DEX for perpetual markets, where traders can gamble with leviathan levels of leverage. Risky business, my dears! Funded by CZ’s YZi Labs, it seems the war for perp supremacy is far from over.
One wag even claimed CZ’s true aim was to “dethrone Hyperliquid.” Dear readers, fetch your popcorn. 🍿
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2025-09-18 13:18