The Crypto Catastrophe: $160 Billion Vanished in Two Days!

Ah, the capricious world of cryptocurrencies, where fortunes wane and wax with the rapidity of a fevered dream, where on that fateful Saturday, the specter of inflation reared its ugly head, sending shivers down the spines of quivering investors. Bitcoin, that once-mighty titan, has plummeted to a mere shadow of itself at $83,000, dragging the hopeful altcoins to their nadir, as if mocking their aspirations. What does this predict for the likes of ADA, PEPE, LINK, and SHIB? Well, strap yourselves in, dear reader, for we are about to embark on an existential journey through this financial quagmire.

Crypto Market Cap Sheds $160B in 2 Days

By the grace of Tradingview, it is revealed that the total crypto market cap has tumbled from a lavish $2.81 trillion to a mere $2.65 trillion, a staggering loss resembling a tragic opera playing out in real-time. And here we are, spectators to this financial farce.

Even Wall Street, that proverbial city of dreams, fluttered amidst the chaos, losing $1 trillion in market cap in the blink of an eye, post the release of US PCE inflation data that sent tremors through this already fragile house of cards. Coingape advises us that inflation has risen to a chilling 2.8%, surpassing the anticipated 2.7%—a grim reminder of our modern dystopia and a clarion call for the Federal Reserve to tighten its hawkish grip.

Furthermore, we learn from the esteemed Kobeissi Letter that long-term inflation expectations have clambered to 4.1%, the highest since 1993, ensuring that the crypto market teeters ever closer to the abyss.

SHIB Price Prediction as Wedge Breakout Hints At Rally

Behold, dear reader! Shiba Inu, that whimsical creature of the meme realm, now trades at a pitiful $0.0000126, a 5% decline that leaves one wondering if the universe has a sense of irony. Yet, the daily SHIB chart whispers that it has broken free from its falling wedge, poised at the upper trendline like a dancer convinced of its own grace. If this charade continues and buying pressure manifests, we might witness gains of up to 80%! Can you imagine—Shiba Inu, the underdog, doubling its worth? The absurdity of it all would be worthy of a Dostoevskyan sigh.

ADA Technical Analysis

Alas, Cardano, once the belle of the blockchain ball, has shed over 6% of its value—a disaster that led to more than $7M in ADA long liquidations, according to the ever-watchful eyes of Coinglass. Where, oh where, is the hope in this darkness? Unlike our jubilant SHIB, ADA remains trapped in a bearish breakout from its consolidation channel, teetering on the brink of a crash to $0.58. The RSI, that fickle beast, lurks beneath 50, signaling further declines, as if mocking its followers with a sardonic chuckle.

PEPE Coin Price Prediction

Turning our gaze to PEPE Coin, we find it ensnared in a bearish trend, having broken below the lower trendline of its ascending parallel channel. As if propelled by some cosmic joke, the ADX line drips downward, revealing that bullish momentum has weakened so much it might as well be at a wake. Prepare thyself for the possible descent to $0.0000057, a fate that even a jesting spirit would find hard to swallow.

LINK Technical Analysis

And what of Chainlink, you ask? It trades now at $13.65, suffering a 4% decline amid the turmoil—leading the altcoin selloff as if it were a seasoned conductor at a cacophonous symphony. With an RSI hovering at a dismal 29, the AO histogram doesn’t paint a rosy picture, indicating a shift to negativity, with prices potentially cascading down to $11. The tragedy! The absurdity! The comedy!

Conclusion

A most despairing revelation awaits us: the crypto market cap has plummeted by over $160 billion within mere days! This mass sell-off has left the altcoin market quaking in its boots. While our dear SHIB hints at a glimmer of bullish hope, the shadow of bearish trends lingers ominously over ADA, PEPE, and LINK, echoing an existential dilemma that permeates this financial theater. Do laugh, dear reader; the world is but a stage, and we are all merely players in this absurd drama.

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2025-03-29 17:14