The Complete History of Dakota Johnson: Agent of Chaos

As a long-time fan of Dakota Johnson‘s work and someone who has been following her career since her breakout role in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” I must say that the rollercoaster ride she’s been on is nothing short of extraordinary! From her unexpected love for limes to her unfiltered honesty about the press tour for “Madame Web,” Dakota has always managed to keep us guessing.

Dakota Johnson, often referred to as the queen of nepotism offspring, never fails to keep things interesting. Regardless of what she’s promoting, Johnson injects a distinct and electrifying energy into press interviews that seems to rearrange reality around her. Similar to her character in “Suspiria,” she leaves a trail of chaos behind her. However, just like her character in the final episode of “The Office,” she’s simply an ordinary person diligently doing her job amidst intense media attention during one of the most tumultuous periods in the entertainment industry. We’ve compiled a chronology that captures all of Dakota Johnson’s media appearances, scandals, and clashes with Ellen, which we find quite intriguing. You might say that her career path forms an unusual yet fascinating web.

Early Life

Dakota Johnson, whose lineage includes Melanie Griffith and Tippi Hedren, has shared insights about her unique perspective on Hollywood due to her family history. Growing up in the Hedren/Griffith household, she often reflects on how her grandmother’s experiences with Alfred Hitchcock influenced her views on fame and the industry. As Johnson stated on The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast, “She stood up for herself, which is what she had to do.” She spoke about Hitchcock’s negative impact on Hedren’s career due to her refusal to comply with his advances, and the terrorizing behavior he exhibited towards her. There was no accountability for Hitchcock’s actions. In a Vanity Fair profile, Johnson also mentioned an incident where Hitchcock sent a coffin containing a doll resembling Hedren to Griffith as a child, describing it as “alarming, dark, and really sad.” This is just one aspect of the complexities that come with her family’s past, which includes growing up on a big-cat sanctuary as portrayed in the film Roar. Social media user Davis K. Bates succinctly encapsulates it all when he says, “That’s some heavy generational trauma.

2013: The Office Series Finale

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=FRsn_lvZyF4

This set was a hotbed of confusion. One of Johnson’s initial roles was in the final episode of The Office, with possibilities for a subsequent series. However, Johnson later described it as a torment. “They were sad,” Johnson said to Seth Meyers in 2024, “and there were also unusual relationships that had persisted for the last ten years. Some people didn’t talk to each other and I would come in all excited, thinking everyone would be friendly, but no one wanted to interact with me.” This behavior seems to have been a recurring theme with Johnson, as she often shares behind-the-scenes stories long after the projects she was involved in have ended. This pattern can also be seen in the Fifty Shades franchise.

2015-2018: Fifty Shades of Weird Press

In 2013, Dakota Johnson took on the role of Anastasia Steele, a character similar to Bella Swan in E.L. James’s “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Originally, she was meant to act alongside Charlie Hunnam, but he dropped out due to creative disagreements. Jamie Dornan eventually stepped into the role of Christian Grey, and there were rumors that Johnson and Dornan didn’t get along. However, it appears these rumors were overstated, as Johnson’s reserved demeanor was simply her personality. The filming process for all three movies was reportedly tumultuous, with cast and crew essentially building the plane while flying it. Later, Johnson described the experience of making the “Fifty Shades” films as “psychotic”. She stated, “I’ve never been able to speak truthfully about this before because one wants to promote a movie in a positive light, but ultimately I’m proud of what we achieved, and everything happens as it should.

2016: How to be a Menace on a Junket

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=fX6rII4HP6Q

During the promotional tour for “How to be Single,” I found myself in a jovial banter with Chris Van Vliet from WSVN Miami. Leslie Mann and Dakota Johnson playfully flirted with him, urging him to undo a few buttons on his shirt, labeling him as a “muscle inspector” or “swole patrol.” When his attempts at flirting fell flat, they offered constructive criticism, suggesting he should avoid certain pick-up lines that didn’t quite hit the mark. For instance, when his charm didn’t quite work as intended, they gently advised him, “Never say that again.

2016: Mystery of the Blue Bottle Coffee

Rebecca Alter from Vulture initially delved deeply into this story when it first surfaced in 2022. In essence, there’s speculation that Dakota Johnson might have fastened a rope to secure the door of a Blue Bottle Coffee shop. The baristas are said to have refused to let her pull shots, which could have been related to a digital-exclusive video for Vogue.

2019: “Actually, no, that’s not the truth, Ellen”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=hG5IdasQS9o

Johnson played a significant role in the downfall of a daytime TV empire when she clarified to Ellen DeGeneres that yes, indeed she had invited Ellen to her birthday party. This revelation marked the beginning of DeGeneres’s career decline, as it was subsequently exposed that her show harbored an environment of workplace toxicity. Johnson’s gentle correction set off a chain of events.

2020: Limegate

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=AwhBTrzzqeg

Let’s rewind to 2020, smack dab in the middle of lockdown. Access to celebrities was severely limited due to the complete halt of public life. With few options left for celebrities to connect with the public, Architectural Digest home tours became more significant. One tour that gained popularity was Dakota Johnson’s, partly because she highlighted a bowl of limes in her kitchen. “I adore limes. I truly love them. They’re fantastic. I have such affection for them, and I like to display them this way in my home,” she said. Fast-forward to January 2021, and Dakota Johnson revealed to Jimmy Fallon that not only does she dislike limes, but she’s also allergic! If we can no longer rely on the truthful storyteller/Ellen conqueror about her love for limes, who can we trust?

2023: Madame Wha’ Happen?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=F8OsGrR1tc8

And now we come to what may be the culmination of Johnson’s media training: the press tour for Madame Web. The film is rapidly gaining cult status amongst the sillier geese of Film Twitter. If Morbius mothered, you’d get Madame Web. The fun started with a line in the trailer said by Johnson, “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died,” which is never actually delivered in the movie. Then there was an earthquake during the junket, it seemed like Johnson thought she was in an MCU movie and not a Sony Spider-Man jawn, she went on The Tonight Show and said she cried every time she saw Fallon because he’s so funny, and on and on and on. It seems unlikely that we’ll ever get the Madame Web sequel that explains how Sydney Sweeney et al. got their superpowers, but if we do? I am sat, front row, 2003-appropriate sunglasses the fuck on.

Following the disappointing performance of ‘Madame Web’ at the box office, Dakota Johnson openly shared her thoughts during the promotional tour. She expressed to Bustle, “I find it challenging to put on a show. At times, it can be difficult for me to go along with the absurdity of a press tour.” This could explain why earlier in the interview, she addressed the obvious issue head-on. In anticipation of the sensationalist headlines that are likely to emerge, Johnson humorously speculated, “Like, ‘Dakota Johnson Speaks Out About Madame Web’s Disastrous Box Office Performance.’ […] It’s more like, ‘I’m not breaking any silence, I’m just talking.’

October 2024: Oh no Daddio

It wasn’t exactly Dakota’s fault, but the adult film that played on every Quantas flight from Sydney to Tokyo was produced by Johnson. As reported by CNN, passengers were unable to turn off the film titled “Daddio” for most of the flight. A Reddit user described it as having a lot of explicit texting scenes where the content could be read without headphones. It took approximately an hour before the screens switched to something more suitable for children. Quantas has apologized to all passengers and stated that the movie was not appropriate for the entire flight. They also mentioned that they usually switch to a family-friendly movie when individual film selection isn’t possible, which was their standard practice in this rare case. They are currently reviewing how the movie was chosen.

2024-10-10 03:54