Texas Doc’s $145M Heist: More Cash Than a Kardashian Wedding!

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me impressed! A Texas orthopedic surgeon, 61-year-old Michael Taba, decided that his day job wasn’t paying the bills fast enough, so he went full-on Ocean’s Eleven-except instead of robbing casinos, he robbed the healthcare system. Classy!

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, Dr. Taba was basically the ringleader of a fraud scheme that made him richer than a Real Housewife’s divorce settlement. Between 2014 and 2017, he accepted bribes and kickbacks from pharmacy owners to prescribe medications that were about as necessary as a screen door on a submarine.

Prosecutors say Taba helped these pharmacies bill the U.S. Department of Labor and Blue Cross Blue Shield a cool $145 million. And how much did he pocket? Oh, just $90 million. Because why settle for a beach house when you can have a private island, right?

But wait, it gets better! The medications he prescribed were allegedly mixed by untrained teenagers in pharmacy backrooms. Basically, it was like a science fair project gone horribly wrong. Patients described the meds as “ineffective,” which is just a nice way of saying they were about as useful as a screen saver on a broken computer.

Inspector General Anthony P. D’Esposito put it best (and by best, I mean in a way that made me snort my coffee): “Dr. Taba put illegal profits above patients’ safety.” Shocking, I know. Who would’ve thought a guy stealing millions wouldn’t prioritize patient care?

This week, a judge finally said, “Enough with the shenanigans,” and sentenced Taba to 102 months in prison. He was found guilty of conspiracy to commit health care fraud and three counts of health care fraud in November 2023. So, looks like his next prescription will be for prison cafeteria food. Bon appétit, doc!

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2026-02-28 02:01