Tariffs Attack: Is Bitcoin On the Brink of Total Mayhem?

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Observe, dear reader, the curious ballet between Bitcoin’s digital dreams and our beloved, churning TradFi stage. As freshly minted economic jitters prance across the globe — courtesy of that never-ending tariff tango — investors appear to be fleeing so-called “risk assets” as though they’ve just spotted a tarantula in their coffee. ☕🕷️

In a display that would make a fireworks vendor blush, United States–listed spot Bitcoin (BTC) exchange-traded funds (ETFs) marked their fourth day of outflows on April 8. A cumulative $326 million apparently waltzed right out the door, according to the crystal-ball gazers at Farside Investors. Of that sum, BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust ETF (IBIT) endured the most melodramatic swoon, losing over $252 million — an outflow reminiscent of an elephant’s attempt at ballet. 🩰🐘

All this followed a brilliant thunderbolt from the Great Orange Warbler himself, President Trump, who on April 2 brandished reciprocal import tariffs with the panache of a magician unveiling a top hat. Unimpressed, the S&P 500 shrank by a whopping $5 trillion over two days, a drama fit for a prime-time soap opera.

Yet, to the bemusement of onlookers, Bitcoin initially hovered above the $82,000 perch, swaying its digital plumage with regal bravado. But, alas, it soon took a swan dive below $75,000 on Sunday, April 6, presumably because weekends are the perfect time for meltdown theatrics. 🤷

According to Lennix Lai, the illustrious global chief commercial officer at OKX exchange, these jitters highlight the “evolving relationship with traditional markets.” Lai told CryptoMoon:

“While descending 26% since January’s grand inauguration, Bitcoin exhibited a curious resilience in those first two days post-tariff chatter — a mere 6% dip compared to Nasdaq’s 11% tumble. A baby giraffe learning to walk, if you will. It’s an intricate, mesmerizing waltz between crypto and the stolid realm of TradFi.”

Industry sages attributed Sunday’s Bitcoin swoon to crypto’s 24/7 liquidity. Like an all-night diner, it never sleeps. So, if traders feel a sudden urge to panic over the weekend, BTC’s door is always open — no reservation needed. 🍔🌙

Bitcoin remains tied to global liquidity conditions

Lai also noted that Bitcoin’s hopeful drift away from equity markets remains tethered (albeit suspiciously) to global liquidity conditions. Caution, dear investor, is the name of this game, especially when gold continues to glitter with that timeless, old-world charm. 🏆

“Though I see early hints of divergence, I contend that Bitcoin is still thoroughly wed to global liquidity,” Lai said in a tone that suggested an artful side-eye. “Investors might still flirt with gold for reasons of geopolitical mania, but Bitcoin’s conceptual magnetism is growing: People now consider it a veritable strategic reserve in a world that’s gone delightfully mad.”

Conspiring analysts similarly finger the global money supply as Bitcoin’s central muse. Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX and current chief investment officer at Maelstrom, observes that “Bitcoin waltzes solely in tune to the anticipated printing presses of fiat.” 🏭🕺

So, dear readers, watch this enthralling spectacle with a mischievous grin, as modern markets continue to pirouette between drama and digital daydream. The next breathless twist? We shall see … 💃🔮

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2025-04-09 11:55