Summer House Recap: Snoozefest

Oh, check this out: Back again is our victorious contender, Thomas Schwartz, who owns around 5% of a bar in West Hollywood and holds approximately 23% of our affectionate feelings. I hope another lizard funeral isn’t on the horizon, as we’ve just had one on Denise Richards’s show. Two lizard funerals within one network’s lifespan seems excessive, don’t you think? Thomas is staying in Imrul’s room, and it appears that nobody misses him much. In fact, he advises Tom to use a condom even when perching on his mattress. Tom isn’t exactly stirring up drama – neither adding nor creating it – but it’s pleasant to see him back in the Hamptons again, given how Summer House and Vanderpump Rules have been interconnected since the latter’s debut.

Regarding fertility matters, Tom provided advice to Kyle Cooke this week on collecting a sperm sample for testing, which seems unnecessary given Amanda’s apparent lack of readiness to start a family. Reminiscent of his role on “Vanderpump Rules,” Tom has offered similar assistance before, and I can’t help but fantasize about sneaking a peek into his bathroom during such moments. I must confess that my curiosity has led me to search terms like “handsome blond entrepreneur booze-related business triangular relationship” on Pornhub, hoping to discover some intriguing details from Kyle’s past.

When the group of men dine out together, West brings up an intriguing topic: the most peculiar things they look for when seeking inspiration, shall we say, creatively. Jesse admits he enjoys massage erotica, which sounds quite soothing. Unlike typical Bravo series, each episode concludes on a positive note. However, Carl mentions his preference is “tan lines.” Oh, Carl! He’s such a lovely and endearing young man. As West remarks, Carl’s choice might be a bit specialized but also rather innocent. Over the years, Carl has been quite open with us; how can this be both the most personal and awkward revelation? It’s even more awkward than the green clogs! And why are all of West’s suggestive search terms censored? Could we perhaps have a West Wilson adult content playlist on Complex or similar platforms?

Instead of delving into the main points of the episode about Jesse’s foolish behavior and Lexi revealing him, I find myself discussing boys and adult content more often because it seems to divert attention from the difficult reality that it’s a challenging scene to witness. It’s quite emotional. What other topics can we discuss instead?

How about rephrasing this passage in a more conversational and simple manner:

Paige, Amanda, and Ciara are known as the Bed-Sore Sisters, and they’re famous for throwing amazing parties. This time, they decided to host the First-Annual Snoozefest, which might just be the best themed party we’ve ever attended. On Friday night, the girls got together to make dream catchers, floating lantern clouds, and the cutest pink bows you’ve ever seen – not from an Amazon box, but handmade.

On Saturday morning, while the guys were nursing their hangovers, there was a lot of activity happening in the backyard. Workers were setting up lighting rigs, and the girls made the boys help build a huge trampoline that would also serve as a bed. It seems like they’re starting to invest more in these parties, which is great to see!

The “Bed-Sore Sisters,” who could outmatch the Sanderson sisters, Pointer Sisters, or Sister Christian on any given day, were an adorable sight to behold. They donned eye masks and skirts and capes that resembled duvets, making them even more endearing. I found myself yearning to snuggle with each one of them, not in a romantic sense, but rather in a cozy, comfortable way. West, dressed as the bear from a Sleepytime-tea box, was equally adorable. Although Gabby’s idea of dressing as a sexy sheep is intriguing, her woolen coat gives off a vibe that is slightly reminiscent of diapers and less luxurious than cashmere. Lindsay, initially terrifying in her bodysuit with a teddy-bear head, transformed into a teddy-bear onesie that was quite charming. Tom Schwartz embodied a dream angel, and he has never looked more handsome, except perhaps that one time when he was in drag. I’m unsure of what Lexi is supposed to be dressed as, but it appears to have a malfunction similar to a short-circuited Fembot from an Austin Powers movie.

Oh, it seems I owe an apology to Lexi. When she confessed her feelings of jealousy towards Jesse, I jumped to conclusions. You see, we’ve known Jesse for a whole summer, and I thought I had him sussed out, so I trusted his words when he said she was overreacting and paid attention to who he was following and unfollowing on Instagram. However, it appears that it was actually Jesse who was jealous and acting out of character, twisting these “yellow flags” to make us think Lexi was the problem. In reality, it seems that Jesse is the one who’s insecure and misinterpreting the situation.

Interestingly enough, the narrative kicks off with Amanda, who serves as the emotional core of the show. She realizes that, being friends with both Lexi and Jesse, it’s her responsibility to share with Lexi some words from Jesse about their relationship. Specifically, she confides in Lexi about how Jesse became upset when she asked him to stop commenting on other girls’ Instagram posts. Furthermore, Amanda reveals to her that Jesse had been following a large number of girls on Instagram, only to unfollow them later, which seemed to Amanda like she was keeping track of his followers daily.

Lexi finds that Jesse’s responses are quite reasonable, though she suggests a more polite way for him to comment on other women’s photos. Instead of using explicit language, she advises saying something like “You have the most beautiful friends” as an alternative. She didn’t mind him commenting about other girls; she just preferred it to be a bit friendlier and less sexual in tone.

What troubled her were the women Jesse started following after they had begun talking, which made her think he might be interested in dating them. Additionally, there were individuals who warned her about Jesse in their DMs, but at first, she didn’t pay much attention. However, following the Toegate incident, she began to have reservations about him and started to take such warnings more seriously.

Lexi mentions that there are significant warning signs about him, such as his excessive texting, video calls, and phone calls. West points out an instance during their drive to the beach when he called her saying “I’ll call you later,” despite them planning to spend the whole weekend together under one roof (and potentially sharing a bed). Indeed, it appears he’s being overly attentive, even smothering. West also acknowledges that perhaps Jesse is feeling somewhat anxious and insecure.

In a spacious bed, they discuss ongoing matters. Calmly, Lexi mentions incidents she’s heard and informs Jesse that his actions haven’t caused her to lose trust in him, but rather, something he did – the toe-sucking incident – has made her question him. This upset Jesse since it was a jest for him. However, if he wishes for her to move past it, perhaps he should acknowledge its severity and offer a sincere apology for overstepping boundaries. Lexi’s assertion that she’ll consider others’ opinions about him rings true, as he has provided reasons to doubt his actions.

Similar to discovering the toe-sucking fact from someone else, it appears that Lexi’s main issue is Jesse’s habit of making her appear foolish. I can understand why she feels this way. Who enjoys being told by friends that their potential or possibly non-existent partner is acting in a crude and disrespectful manner?

Actions cause reactions, and if he stops his actions, there won’t be anything for others to report back about. Moreover, he tries to make her feel guilty by saying “I thought we’d leave this weekend as boyfriend and girlfriend.” This comment seems like an attempt to manipulate her, using the relationship as a sort of reward or prize. (Earlier in the episode, the girls asked Lexi if there was a difference between being “exclusive” and “boyfriend-girlfriend,” with Gabby explaining that they’re different because she looked it up on TikTok.)

Following their conversation, Lexi discusses with Paige, Lindsay, and Gabby, while Jesse retreats to speak with West. They both arrive at the same realization: Their relationship lacks the necessary stability. Indeed! It’s only been about six weeks, and it’s already become quite chaotic. I must admit, something needs to be done to halt this situation quickly. Paige offers advice when she tells Lexi that if someone claims they have altered so much for you, one should walk away. Absolutely, queen! It seems that spending so much time together has brought out the best in Paige, as her wisdom is spot on. He shouldn’t feel compelled to change for her; instead, he should listen more attentively to her concerns. He shouldn’t need to change; rather, he should learn to empathize and accommodate her feelings naturally. The relationship should develop gradually, like a gentle wave washing over him, moving slightly closer each day without the need for forced effort—it should simply envelop his being, just as one drifts off to sleep in a large bed specially built in the backyard.

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2025-04-24 05:54