Strategy’s STRE Shares: A Tale of BTC Dreams & Perpetual Strife 🐘

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In the grand ballet of finance, Strategy pirouettes toward its next act, having priced new STRE preferred shares to fund its love affair with Bitcoin. One might call it a romance-if the term didn’t imply consent.

The Series A Perpetual Stream Preferred Stock (STRE), priced at 80 euros ($92.50) per share, will raise 608.8 million euros. These funds will, of course, be used to “accumulate Bitcoin and for general corporate purposes.” A charmingly vague list of priorities, akin to a poet saying they’ll use their inheritance for “ink and existential dread.” Settlement is slated for Nov. 13, which feels ominously specific.

These STRE shares, senior to STRK, STRD, and common stock but junior to STRF and STRC (and debt, because nothing says “confidence” like subordination), are a delicate hierarchy of financial despair. A shareholder’s dream, if one enjoys alphabet soup with a side of anxiety.

Unfortunately for EU and UK retail investors, this particular tragedy is sold out. One must wonder: Is exclusion from a crypto IPO the new black?

This capital raise arrives as Strategy slows its acquisition pace, perhaps recognizing the broader crypto market’s preference for napping over speculation. October was… chill.

Strategy’s Q3 revenue? A modest $2.8 billion, down from Q2’s $10 billion. Its stock? A downtrend since July, like a Shakespearean protagonist with poor life choices. In October, S&P Global Ratings gifted the company a B- credit rating-a ribbon of mediocrity, 15 levels shy of AAA and two levels above bankruptcy. S&P also noted Strategy’s BTC obsession, which they called “a risk.” A bold critique, given BTC’s recent habit of evaporation.

Analyst Willy Woo, that oracle of digital gold, assures us Strategy won’t liquidate its BTC hoard during the next bear market. Or go bust. A comforting thought, like being told a house of cards won’t collapse-even as the wind picks up. 🌪️

Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and arithmetic. One wonders what Chekhov would make of a company that bets its future on a cryptocurrency’s price. Probably a play where everyone forgets their lines. 🎭

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2025-11-07 22:05