Stephen Colbert Slams Trump’s Joint Session of Congress as ‘Filled With Useful Lies’ and ‘Applauded by Useless Idiots’: ‘Another Two Hours We’ll Never Get Back’

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During last night’s airing of “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert summarized President Donald Trump’s joint address to Congress, offering his critique on several key points from the nearly two-hour long speech.

Prior to Colbert’s performance, a satirical version of the “Animaniacs” theme song titled “The MAGA Maniacs” was played for the crowd. In this rendition, animated caricatures of Trump, Vice President JD Vance, and House Speaker Mike Johnson were depicted, with lyrics such as: “It’s time for MAGA Maniacs / Federal workers lose their jobs / DEI rollbacks / Putin can unwind / We’re MAGA Maniacs.

Once the tune ended, Colbert made an appearance and promptly delved into analyzing Trump’s speech, initially mocking its central topic as a light-hearted jab.

Colbert commented that the topic of his speech tonight was ‘Revitalizing the American Dream.’ However, he jokingly expressed doubts about participating in its revival, suggesting instead that he might create a new account for another complimentary trial instead.”

Or more colloquially:

“Colbert mentioned that the focus of his talk tonight was on ‘Bringing back the American Dream.’ I’m not sure if I want to jump aboard that train, though. Maybe I’ll just create a new account for another free trial instead!

Additionally, Colbert reported on the removal of Texas Representative Al Green from the joint session. This action was taken because he persistently interrupted President Trump.

Johnson requested the sergeant at arms to escort 77-year-old Texas Congressman Al Green, Colbert mentioned. Some people wondered why such a large contingent of security was necessary for an elderly man with a cane. However, it was revealed that the reason was serious – when they searched him, they discovered he had hidden a backbone.

Colbert concluded his talk by expressing regret to the viewers for making them watch Trump’s speech, and jokingly commented, “That’s time you could have been spending with your loved ones instead of consuming eggs.

Well then, there you have it. Two more hours that we can never recover,” Colbert commented. “In the end, Trump’s initial address to Congress was strikingly similar to his first six weeks: Packed with beneficial falsehoods, and praised by unproductive simpletons.

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2025-03-05 09:23