Southern Charm Season-Finale Recap: Hold the Phone

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As a follower, I must confess, the beginning of this season had me on the edge of my seat. The drama between Craig and Austen, Taylor’s pursuit of Salley over a certain Disney villain-named man, Madison’s husband’s health crisis, JT and Venita’s enigmatic antics, and Whitney’s questionable frosted tips – all made for quite the spectacle. But alas, it ended with a whimper rather than a bang. Craig and Austen reconciled, Taylor seems to have cooled off with Salley, Madison’s husband is back on his feet, and Whitney has upgraded his wardrobe to a butter yellow jacket that could very well be the best thing he’s ever worn on screen. Talk about an anticlimax! It’s like anticipating a loud fart, calling your friend over to witness it, only for the sound to be a quiet hiss and the smell reminiscent of a factory full of decaying tuna fish.

The storyline revolved around a large celebration hosted by Ryan and Madison, with no specific purpose other than wrapping up the season. However, the main conflict leading to the finale stems from something Ryan allegedly told Venita about JT, which JT’s barber supposedly overheard. This controversy is tricky to resolve because none of us have witnessed the original conversation or any subsequent discussions. We don’t know what JT said to his barber, nor do we know if Ryan’s barber and JT’s barber are the same person or work at the same salon. In essence, it’s like trying to solve a game of broken telephone with an old Nokia Sidekick that doesn’t work.

At the party, the discussion about the topic turned out to be quite amusing. Venita and Leva, who seemed to have exhausted her work-from-home days this season, drew Ryan into a secluded room for a chat on the recent events. As they tried to converse, Madison and Rodrigo entered with an intention to join, but their presence somewhat disrupted the conversation. Then, Miss Pat appeared at the door to announce her departure, causing Madison to hurriedly exit as she wished to steer clear of any conflict unrelated to her.

In a disagreement between women, Rodrigo attempted to support Ryan, stating that she didn’t believe Ryan had acted in a hurtful manner, but Ryan insisted that they didn’t require additional opinions in the room at that moment, causing Rodrigo to leave. This incident seems to have ended their plans for the trip to Washington D.C., leaving me and another couple to enjoy the Eiffel Tower instead, with Rodrigo and Tyler being my chosen companions on this revised adventure.

This conflict is peculiar because I suspect everyone is truthful. JT likely didn’t speak disparagingly about Venita to his barber; he merely shared what was happening in his life and on the show. Similarly, I believe that Ryan’s barber misinterpreted JT’s words as mean-spirited and passed this information onto Venita, all in an effort to protect her. It seems unlikely that JT would speak negatively about Venita (or Miss Pat), and it’s equally improbable that Ryan would fabricate stories to eliminate JT. Although Ryan doesn’t get along with JT, most of the cast shares this sentiment. They have enough reasons to oust Don Jr. Jr., so they don’t need to invent lies. If there’s anything suspicious about this situation, it appears to be between the two barbers. (In fact, if Kenya Moore were part of this show, she would have ensured that both barbers received invitations to the party, so they could clarify what actually happened. This is why Kenya Moore should never leave reality television.)

The main issue here seems to revolve around an unusual incident involving Taylor, Salley, and an extra ‘E’ – something I never anticipated from my time at the club. It appears that Taylor texted Austen, claiming Salley was threatening his relationship, as she had shared with other girls that Austen had told her several times to reveal her chest to them during their trip to the Bahamas. However, in a previous clip, it’s evident that Austen said this when Salley was far enough away for any such action to be insignificant. It seems Salley took Austen’s joke in good humor. Yet, Taylor appears to be stirring up trouble because she dislikes Salley.

At the party, it becomes evident why Salley excels in reality TV as Taylor, instead of maintaining their agreement not to badmouth each other, starts discussing Salley with Austen unprovoked. This scene underscores that perhaps Taylor should return to her dental hygienist profession or whatever she was doing before Shep encountered her at the bar known for its mediocre wings. Salley questions why Taylor is speaking about her when she hasn’t done anything wrong, and Taylor lacks a coherent response, seemingly fabricating drama without success. Eventually, Taylor storms away, leaving Salley standing triumphantly alone.

In due course, there’s a brief moment where Rodrigo proposes a toast to Taylor and Sally dating each other’s former partners. Sally asserts she got the better one, followed by Taylor claiming the superior position, to which Sally retorts, “I’ve already said that.” Sally is more swift, direct, adept at handling disputes, and not shy about wading through messy situations – traits that Taylor lacks. As a result, if we’re going to retain any of these women, we should hold onto Sally.

Let’s make a change here: Instead of firing them all, let’s retain Sally and Madison as well. The reason for keeping Madison is due to her stunning appearance at the party in that red dress. She might not contribute much, but she has successfully broken the guys’ dynamic, always looks fabulous, and adds an element of charm to every gathering we attend together. So, she stays on board.

The subsequent title cards provide us insight into the fact that Venita and JT began dating two months following the conclusion of filming, until he publicly confirmed his relationship with a non-Canadian girlfriend on Instagram. During the reunion, we’ll learn more about their discussions regarding his girlfriend, when they started dating, how it ended, and why on earth JT chose to toy with Venita’s feelings, given that she is a New York 9 and a resident of Charleston, South Carolina, numbered 1,342,899.

The news that Craig and Paige had split up, which we’d anticipated throughout the season, was also confirmed. The cameras resumed filming to capture Craig, Austen, and Shep discussing it shortly afterward. However, there wasn’t much fresh insight provided. Craig mentioned that he bought a ring at Paige’s request but was told to postpone it. He stated they had a wonderful Thanksgiving together, but Paige ended the relationship and expressed her desire to rediscover herself. To his credit, Craig chose not to sully Paige’s reputation or cast blame on her. However, considering that several months have passed since this incident, and the two have been exchanging barbs in the press, during WWHL, and the Summer House after-show, this information appears somewhat outdated.

On that particular day, as Craig departed Austen’s residence, sporting an unusually large number of clothes and a stylish haircut, he sensed the chill in the air, the approach of autumn. He sauntered back to his vehicle, climbed inside, and reached for his phone since he often contacts or messages Paige during his commute (we all know Craig is one of those people who texts while driving). However, this time, he hesitated to do so. Instead, he idly twirled the phone in his hand, contemplating other options, seeking someone to talk to at that moment. Alas, there were no simple solutions; only the deafening quiet as he shifted the car into gear and sped off towards the setting sun, a spectacle that was growing increasingly earlier each day.

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2025-03-21 05:58