Sorry, Crypto Kids: France’s Kidnapping Plot Gets Caught! 🤷‍♂️

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Sorry, Crypto Kids: France’s Kidnapping Plot Gets Caught! 🤷‍♂️

Oh la la! France decides to turn into a blockbuster with 25 young ‘crypto enthusiasts’ getting slapped with charges. Some are barely old enough to legally buy a croissant, and others are just 16! Guess what? They were allegedly trying to kidnap crypto bigshots and their families. Because nothing says ‘investment opportunity’ like a kidnapping plot, right? 😅

Crypto Kidnappers in Action

Reports say these future criminals, aging from 16 to 23, thought they could pull off a high-stakes kidnapping using stolen cars and fake courier branding. Basically, they wanted to be the Netflix version of Ocean’s Eleven — but with more juvenile delinquency and less sophistication.

Masked Assailants Attack

Remember that May 13 attack in Paris? Yeah, a gang of masked maniacs targeted the daughter and grandson of Paymium CEO Pierre Noizat right there in the open, with a camera’s eye catching every dramatic moment. They got minor injuries, but let’s be honest — the real trauma was the bad guys trying to steal crypto, not their bruises.

And guess what? This wasn’t a one-time thing. There were other failed attempts, a previous plot, and some near misses near Nantes. It’s like a bad crime TV series, but unfortunately, it’s real, and these kids appear to be motivated by quick cash and Instagram likes.

Police Raid in Action

Of the 25 charged, 18 are chilling in pre-trial detention, four are under supervision, and three are requesting delays. Basically, they’re waiting for their internet bail to drop, while authorities trace their shady social media footprints.

These suspects hail from all over—Paris, Senegal, Angola, Russia, Châtellerault—like a crypto-themed United Nations, if the United Nations had a penchant for kidnapping. Defence lawyers say some of these kids got roped in because, hey, easy money, right? Just don’t ask what’s happening on the other side of that ‘easy’.

Raids in France

French cops didn’t just sit around—they struck back hard with raids across Île-de-France and Loire-Atlantique, led by their elite Brigade de Répression du Banditisme. No mugshots or social media posts were safe. Detectives are hunting the mastermind behind the scenes, probably chilling somewhere watching all this unfold like a crime reality show—only less glamorous.

Social media seems to be the new recruiting ground for these digital rowdies, with the big boss likely still at large, planning their next move while sipping café crème. Meanwhile, French officials are chatting with crypto folks about how to keep the blockchain from turning into the kidnapping alley.

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2025-06-02 09:32