Selling Sunset Recap: We Know Who the Bad Person Is

As a seasoned cinephile with a penchant for the dramatic and a soft spot for reality TV, I must say that this latest episode of The Oppenheim Group was as captivating as ever. It was a veritable rollercoaster of emotions, with more twists and turns than a winding country road in Tuscany.

As a movie critic, I’d say: “Pause all promotions, halt live streams on Instagram, muffle the barks of man’s best friend with some McDonald’s fries, silence cellphones and accept calendar invites, scatter the remains and let mourners battle it out.” (Inspired by W.H. Auden)

It takes a lot to promise me a fight at a dog funeral and somehow disappoint, but Selling Sunset pulled it off. In episodes eight and nine, “Down on Your Potluck” and “Two Listings and a Funeral,” Mary and Jason suffer the loss of their dog Niko, a very good boy who lived 18 very good years with people who loved him so much. Their raw grief — visible even through their incredible amounts of botox — is so gut-wrenching it makes even Brett and Jason seem like relatable human beings.

In my humble opinion as a movie critic, let me tell you that I was relieved when our heroine, Alanna, finally stumbled upon some trees in the vast wilderness. It seemed like she might be lost forever! However, just when things were looking grim, Alanna finds herself under new management – a man dressed in a vest and shirt combo. Now, if you’ve got a niche problem to solve, like setting up an IRA or filling seats at a bar and grill near an office park, this guy is your go-to! And the cherry on top? He hails from Britain, so he pronounces “privacy” in a quirky fashion, adding a touch of humor to the story. Brett couldn’t be prouder of Alanna, even when she shows up empty-handed at the Niko memorial potluck.

The potluck had the potential for enjoyment, yet it largely felt like a stark reminder that several participants are deeply troubled and living in a dysfunctional society. The gathering seemed to mask a hidden competition, with Chrishell attempting to win the “most down-home and endearing” title by transferring mac and cheese from a take-out container into a serving dish in the back seat of her car upon arrival, with the door open. Frankly, if someone brought uncovered mac and cheese into my house from outside, I would discard it because it’s unsanitary. Food should be either outside or inside; outdoor food shouldn’t be brought indoors to eat unless it has been safely covered. The only exception is barbecued food, but that’s different since the cooking happens outdoors. Mac and cheese is prepared indoors, so it needs to remain indoors (or in a container) until it reaches its destination. This is simply a standard social etiquette.

In a twist that’s reminiscent of a skip record in Emma’s mind, she discovers Mary brought empanadas – the very dish Emma is renowned for selling frozen vegan versions of. This revelation triggers a familiar antic from Emma, where she places Mary’s empanadas on the balcony and even tosses one off it. Mary appears unfazed because she’s adept at avoiding confrontations entirely, and possibly due to recent grief over her dog’s passing, making it hard for her to care. However, I must say, I’ve missed this lively side of Emma!

Bre ostensibly “wins” the potluck by hiring a private chef to come cook for everyone, which is so annoying. First, I am so sure she did not actually pay this man to come and open a can of caviar for them. This is a chef who spent 30 minutes tops throwing together some tacos with mini tequila bottles in exchange for being on TV. Secondly, showing up to what is ostensibly a warm family potluck in a home with a random stranger in tow that everyone now has to interact with is weird and irritating! Bre is testing me, and the confrontation at Niko’s funeral doesn’t give us any progress.

Emma finds that the gathering following Niko’s funeral at Mary’s house presents an opportune moment to discuss something with Bre. However, it’s unclear what everyone aims to achieve in this situation. It appears that Emma is curious about whether Bre might participate in fabricating storylines for a reality TV show, potentially compromising someone else’s marriage. Bre, known for her insecurity and defensive nature, responds by shifting blame onto the producers she mentions as “setting up a scene,” while also implicating her friend Amanda Lynn in the process.

In a nutshell, Chelsea seems unbothered by the situation, as she has more pressing issues on her mind and has grown indifferent about whether Bre deliberately caused this issue. Moreover, Chelsea’s relationship with Bre has never been strong, and this situation is mainly about Emma and Chrishell trying to avoid taking sides. At one point, Chrishell expresses that she’s there to offer moral support without specifying whom she’s backing up. It’s quite puzzling because Bre appears to undervalue their friendship, making it seem irrelevant whether they can continue being friends with her. While Bre might have a tough facade masking a vulnerable core, we rarely see any signs of this vulnerability, and she seems intent on keeping it hidden, so why should we care?

The only even slightly interesting thing we get out of this is Bre’s reveal that she told Emma and Chrishell she was filming with Amanda Lynn ahead of time, which could mean anything. Or nothing. It’s a little embarrassing for Chelsea, who had just spent several minutes reminding Chrishell and Emma that they are her best friends, but it doesn’t mean they knew how devastating Amanda Lynn’s intel would be for Chelsea. Bre’s defense, which she keeps repeating, is that if she’d wanted to hurt Chelsea with this information, she would have revealed it in a far more cruel fashion. I don’t think that tracks with what we already know. Bre is smarter than, for example, Nicole. She understands how people see her. She knew enough to know it didn’t look good that she’d brought it to camera in the first place, so she clearly understood that the only way to get this on TV without getting a full villain edit was to do exactly what she did. Her hat looked great though.

Unlisted Observations

• Z-Listers Who Pretended to Almost Buy (or Sell) a House:

I hadn’t taken much interest in who Joey Essex was, but now that I know him, I find myself preoccupied with his teeth. Are they meant to represent some sort of British stereotype? Does he apply Listerine frequently to keep them looking so blueish? Or do they emit a glow under dark conditions? Goodness me, it’s puzzling!

The D’Amelio Family plans to offload the large residence they obtained through their content creation earnings with TikTok, courtesy of CCP, via The O Group. Additionally, they express a desire for a rural property in their future home, likely not due to a yearning for the physically demanding, labor-intensive lifestyle of an actual farmer, but rather to house various amusing creatures for content purposes. Content, after all, is always active.

• Chelsea can break dance and cook a hearty lasagne. Jeff, you are an idiot beyond measure.

• “There are no rules,” Jason on the protocol for dog funerals.

Could the neighbors of the Carmen Crest house, which Chelsea has shown to Joey Essex, take legal action against the way it’s being advertised as a post-party house? I’d be enraged if real estate agents were broadcasting to the world’s rowdiest men that they could play their loud, obnoxious music near my bedroom window all night, supposedly to attract women.

It’s likely that my defense of Nicole is causing quite a stir in the comments section, and rightfully so! Feel free to express your disapproval, but I kindly ask you to consider this: Imagine how lively the funeral would have been if Nicole had abandoned her popcorn and jumped into the conversation. Now, that would have made for an entertaining spectacle.

2024-09-07 06:54

Selling Sunset Recap: We Know Who the Bad Person Is

Unlisted Observations

Read More

Minority Mindset