Ah, the woes of the modern capitalist, forever chasing the elusive dragon of profit! In the grand halls of MicroStrategy, where the echoes of Dostoevsky’s tortured souls once reverberated, a new era has dawned – one where the “micro” has been cast aside, and the “strategy” has become the sole obsession of the powers that be.
“We have completed $20 billion of our $42 billion capital plan, significantly ahead of our initial timelines, while leading the digital transformation of capital in the financial markets,” said Phong Le, the President and Chief Executive Officer, his voice dripping with the kind of hubris that would make even the Devil himself blush. 🤑
Q4 Largest Increase in BTC Stash: A Pyrrhic Victory?
The earnings report, a veritable tome of financial sorcery, revealed that the firm now holds a staggering 471,107 BTC, worth an estimated $46 billion – a sum so vast, it could make even the most avaricious of oligarchs weep with envy. 💸
“The fourth quarter of 2024 marked our largest ever increase in quarterly Bitcoin holdings, culminating in the acquisition of 218,887 bitcoins acquired for $20.5 billion since the end of Q3,” said Andrew Kang, the Chief Financial Officer, his words dripping with the kind of glee that would make a Siberian wolf howl in despair. 🐺
But alas, the legacy software business, the very foundation upon which this empire was built, has fallen into disarray, with losses of $671 million and a 3% drop in revenue. 📉 A Faustian bargain, indeed!
“BTC Gain and BTC $Gain are KPIs that the Company uses to assess the performance of its strategy of acquiring Bitcoin in a manner the Company believes is accretive to shareholders,” the company explained, their words laced with the kind of twisted logic that would make even the most seasoned of Dostoevsky’s characters weep. 😭
And so, the once-mighty MicroStrategy, now reborn as the unholy vessel of Strategy, marches on, its sights set on the ever-elusive prize of Bitcoin supremacy. 🤖 But at what cost, dear reader? At what cost? 🤔
Read More
- INJ PREDICTION. INJ cryptocurrency
- SPELL PREDICTION. SPELL cryptocurrency
- How To Travel Between Maps In Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- LDO PREDICTION. LDO cryptocurrency
- The Hilarious Truth Behind FIFA’s ‘Fake’ Pack Luck: Zwe’s Epic Journey
- How to Craft Reforged Radzig Kobyla’s Sword in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- How to find the Medicine Book and cure Thomas in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- Destiny 2: Countdown to Episode Heresy’s End & Community Reactions
- Deep Rock Galactic: Painful Missions That Will Test Your Skills
- When will Sonic the Hedgehog 3 be on Paramount Plus?
2025-02-06 09:37