Robinhood’s Revenue Skyrockets Thanks to Crypto: You Won’t Believe the Numbers! 💰🚀

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Well, hold onto your wallets, folks! Robinhood Markets just pulled a rabbit out of a hat, and it’s not even Easter! In the fourth quarter of 2024, their revenue didn’t just double—it did a backflip and landed a perfect 10! 🎉 Thanks to a crypto trading frenzy fueled by the US presidential election, they raked in a whopping $1.01 billion! That’s more than the last time I tried to count my change after a night out! 💸

Analysts were left scratching their heads, expecting only $940.8 million. Surprise! Robinhood said, “Hold my beer!” 🍻

Robinhood’s Revenue: More Than Just a Double—It’s a Full-On Circus! 🎪

Crypto trading was the star of the show, with revenue skyrocketing over 700% to $358 million! That’s right, folks, 700%! If only my diet could do that! Meanwhile, their Assets Under Custody (AUC) grew by 88% year-over-year, reaching $193 billion. I guess people really love their digital coins—who needs gold when you can have Bitcoin? 🪙

In a statement that could make a motivational speaker weep, Robinhood CEO Vlad Tenev declared,

“We hit the gas on product development in 2024. We see a huge opportunity ahead of us as we work toward enabling anyone, anywhere, to buy, sell, or hold any financial asset and conduct any financial transaction through Robinhood.”

Translation: “We’re going to make it so easy, even your grandma can trade crypto while knitting!” 🧶

And wait, there’s more! Robinhood expanded its crypto offerings faster than a kid on a sugar rush, with notional crypto volumes soaring over 400% year-over-year to $71 billion! They even added seven new crypto assets in the US and introduced Ethereum (ETH) staking in the EU. I mean, who doesn’t want to stake their claim in the digital gold rush? 💎

But hold your horses! In June 2024, Robinhood announced plans to acquire the crypto exchange Bitstamp, pending regulatory approvals. Because what’s better than one crypto exchange? Two! 🎊

In the past month, they made index options available to all users and started rolling out in-app futures trading. It’s like a buffet of trading options—just don’t get too full! 🍽️ Meanwhile, Robinhood Legend, their desktop platform for active traders, launched in October 2024 with nearly 30 new indicators. It’s like giving a kid a new toy—except this one can make you money! 🧸💰

Robinhood’s Derivatives Drama: A Comedy of Errors! 🎭

But wait, there’s a plot twist! Despite their record-breaking earnings, Robinhood Derivatives had to hit the brakes on their sports event contracts after a stern talking-to from the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC). Apparently, they weren’t ready for the Pro Football Championship market, which was only introduced to 1% of users. Talk about a fumble! 🏈

Robinhood expressed disappointment, saying they were in regular communication with the CFTC. It’s like trying to convince your parents you’re responsible enough to have a pet—good luck with that! 🐶

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2025-02-13 23:25