Robinhood’s New “Prime” Plan 😳

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So, Robinhood, these guys who made day trading kinda trendy, they’re doing something, like, totally Amazonian now. 🤨 Get this, they’re trying to convince everyone to pay a monthly fee for perks. Perks! Like they’re some kind of fancy club. They’re calling it “Robinhood Strategies,” which sounds more like a bad spy movie than a financial plan.

The CEO, Vlad, he’s all, “Loyalty is key!” 🙄 Like, who doesn’t love being loyal? Especially to a company that makes money when you lose money. He even said it himself, “Subscriptions are about loyalty. So if you’re a subscriber to something, then that service is sort of the first in mind when you think about trying something else from that category.” See, I told you, spy movie stuff.

Right now, if you pay a measly $5 a month (or $50 if you’re feeling really generous) you get stuff like 4% interest on your cash. Now they’re throwing in “wealth management” and “top handpicked stocks,” which sounds great until you realize they’re probably just recommending the same five stocks they always do. Oh, and there’s a 0.25% fee on top of that, capped at $250. What a steal! 🤑

They’re hoping people will get hooked like they do with Amazon Prime. But let’s be honest, who needs another subscription? I’m already paying for Netflix, Spotify, and that weird cheese-of-the-month club I got roped into. 😒

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2025-03-27 23:22