Ripple’s $5B Rejection: Circle Says “Thanks, But No Thanks!” (Stablecoin Drama Inside!)

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If ever there was a bit of financial wooing that had all the hallmarks of Lord Emsworth trying to trade the Empress of Blandings for a crate of tinned sardines, it was Ripple sidling up to Circle with a casual offer of $5 billion. Yes, billion with a “b”. You could practically hear the monocles popping in drawing rooms across Mayfair. 🤨💸

The plucky fellows at Circle, who, it must be said, look after USDC as a duchess minds her pearls, gave the gentle suggestion that Ripple’s generous advance was, how shall we put it, about as tempting as cold porridge on a winter’s morn. “Nice try, old sport, but not quite the ticket,” seemed to be the consensus, as reported in the sacred scrolls of Bloomberg.

Matthew Sigel of VanEck—clearly a chap not to miss a bit of good gossip—helped fan the flames by sharing the tale far and wide. Apparently, Ripple is still standing in the wings, bouquet in hand, wondering if a larger offering of cabbage might change Circle’s tune. 🥬

Meanwhile, the numbers paint a picture worthy of Bertie Wooster’s accountant attempting to balance the club’s gin bill. Ripple’s RLUSD, a mere newcomer to the stablecoin soiree with $317 million or so to its name, hopes to dance with USDC—a debutante carrying a staggering $61 billion in her reticule. Good luck cutting in at that ball!

Despite the rebuffed advances, Circle isn’t shedding any tears (publicly, at least). Instead, it’s off to the IPO races, donning its Sunday best and keeping schtum for the authorities. Mum’s the word right now, which is unlucky for us lovers of juicy details but surely a relief to their legal counsel. Ripple, for its part, is adopting the timeless strategy of silence, which is a bit dull but ever so mysterious.

Spring seems to have brought on a fit of romance for crypto companies, with a rash of proposals, mergers, and splashes in the market. Ripple, not content with merely collecting ‘no, thank you’ notes, recently snapped up Hidden Road for $1.25 billion—perhaps as consolation prize. Meanwhile, BitGo, Gemini, Bullish, and the rest are lining up for their own public debuts, top hats polished and shoes shined.

All told, Ripple’s rejected bid is less a tale of unrequited love and more a story of one suitor’s dogged determination to be king of the stablecoin cotillion, while Circle, head held high, aims for the altar of institutional credibility. After all, in matters of love and crypto, one must never settle for less than $6 billion. 😉💍

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2025-04-30 23:01