Poker Face Recap: Cold Blooded

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For folks who thought season two of Poker Face would stick to the same 10 episodes as before, finding out about the extra two feels like an unexpected bonus. After all, who wouldn’t want more time with Charlie Cale? However, I’ve known since the start that there would be this episode count, and my job is to analyze the show’s strengths and weaknesses, so I must express some dissatisfaction. While “Day of the Iguana” offers plenty of entertainment in the penultimate spot of the season, learning that this episode primarily sets up for the finale on a show known for its nostalgic case-of-the-week format can’t help but feel somewhat disappointing. What is Poker Face, if not Charlie solving crimes?

The story begins intriguingly as a teacher named Todd, affectionately known as Mr. T by his students, meets an untimely end. This occurs at the hands of what appears to be a chauffeur, who subsequently assumes Todd’s identity using facial prosthetics and a false glass eye to mimic Todd’s own. It is later revealed that this character, whom I will refer to as the Iguana throughout to minimize confusion, is an assassin pretending to be Todd in order to gain access to the wedding. Director Ti West, renowned for the X trilogy, skillfully incorporates horror elements into the opening scene, including a graphic depiction of the Iguana liquefying and disposing of Todd’s body, reminiscent of Kevin Bacon’s fate in MaXXXine. Regrettably, the tension established in this scene is not consistently maintained throughout the episode as any encounter between Charlie and the Iguana must wait until next week. However, let me clarify that I am discussing events from the current episode.

The wedding turns out to be an ostentatious event, considering the groom is Kirby Kowalczyk (Haley Joel Osment), known for his BALLZilla energy drink and multi-level marketing scheme. He’s also infamous for causing Todd’s eye injury. When the Iguana spots an FBI agent, Luca Clark, at the wedding party, he attempts to abandon the mission but is offered double pay to carry on and find a scapegoat. That scapegoat turns out to be Alex, who is working there as part of her new side business, Yippie Ki-Yay Oyster Shucker. The task given to her is to kill Kirby. The Iguana surprises him in the bathroom, sedates him, and stabs him with one of Alex’s oyster knives. Finding the body in the boathouse, the Iguana drugs Alex as well. As the Iguana prepares to set off fireworks, an angry bride Victoria rushes outside, discovering Kirby dead in a boat. Next to him lies Alex, covered in blood and holding a knife with Kirby’s eyeball still attached. She denies any involvement, but her actions speak louder than words.

In the narrative flow, it’s clear that Charlie is attending the wedding as well, a fact we discover when the story shifts to her point of view. Alex manages to convince Charlie to participate in an oyster shucking business, offering $7,000 for minimal effort; however, Alex insists on vintage costumes for them both, giving off a French mime vibe (although Alex himself is later described as resembling Steamboat Willie). The FBI is present at the wedding too, with Danville (Lili Taylor), Milligan (Taylor Schilling), and Luca in attendance. When Charlie encounters Luca in the kitchen, he tries to pass off his presence as an attempt to take down the BALLZilla scam, but forgets he can’t deceive Charlie. He then confesses that Kirby is actually Beatrix Hasp’s secret son. Despite their estrangement throughout his life, Hasp has made it a condition of her testimony that she can watch the wedding livestream. Luca presents Kirby with a framed photo from Hasp, but he’s not pleased about it. On the dock outside, Charlie attempts to console Kirby, who is mostly upset about his mother’s abandonment because he cannot utilize her criminal connections for his BALLZilla endeavor. Charlie explains that anyone close to Hasp tends to end up either dead or imprisoned. “When someone like that exists, the kindest act one can perform is to maintain a distance, no matter how difficult,” she says. Given Charlie’s past experiences, it’s hard not to question whether this advice might apply to her relationship with Alex. Is this a hint at what may lie ahead for their friendship?

Currently, Alex finds friendship beneficial. That night, Charlie observes the same horrifying scene as the bride: Kirby’s dead body and a bloody Alex holding a murder weapon. Yet, when Alex declares “I didn’t do it,” Charlie is convinced of her friend’s honesty. The FBI remains skeptical, but Luca, trusting Charlie’s lie-detecting abilities, supports Alex’s innocence. However, this point becomes irrelevant as Hasp, with influential ties even within WITSEC, will send her henchmen after the presumed killer upon hearing about Kirby’s murder. It’s advantageous for Alex if the FBI apprehends her before the mob does, but Luca’s assurance of protection is false. Charlie eventually locates Alex hiding in a break room. They decide to flee until they can resolve this predicament, donning disguises (Charlie as a BALLZilla gorilla and Alex inside an oversized BALLZilla can) and making their way to the boathouse. There, they discover the Iguana’s fake glass eye at the boat’s bottom, leading Alex to suspect Todd, the flirtatious wedding guest, as the killer. Charlie deduces instead that it’s an imposter posing as him. The intricate scheme points towards a professional assassin, making the situation even more perilous for Alex. With no other choice, they continue to evade capture, despite Luca’s warning of the Five Families’ relentless pursuit.

iguana.” Darville is surprised by this, as “iguana” was thought to be a fictional FBI bogeyman used to frighten new recruits. However, if the Iguana is real, Luca concludes that this entire scheme was designed for Charlie and Alex to lead him straight to Hasp. This intricate plot seems too complicated even for Poker Face, and it leaves us with no clear resolution – just Luca threatening a “bloodbath” and a glimpse of Hasp at her kitchen window, oblivious to the fact that her tranquil life is about to be disrupted.

Just One More Thing

In the section titled after Columbo’s well-known catchphrase, we can’t help but note that an Iguana performs a spot-on imitation of Columbo’s signature phrase, “There’s just one more thing.” You may recall that Peter Falk, who portrayed Columbo, had a prosthetic glass eye.

In this captivating cinematic journey, I find myself pondering over who might have been behind the mysterious employment of the iguana. Considering the cloaked voice, my intuition leans towards Good Buddy. If true, it would be a splendid opportunity for Steve Buscemi to grace our screens in the climactic finale. Admittedly, this twist seems somewhat improbable, yet with the current narrative taking us to uncharted territories of credibility, who knows what twists and turns the story might bring?

I found absolutely everything about Beatrix Hasp’s Finsta account intriguing: the username (@AlwaysBeaBaking), the playful bio (“Hi Charlie, I’m feeling quite bored. Here’s some baked goods I’ve made”), Charlie’s decision not to follow it due to its impact on her algorithm. “Check this out,” she complains, “Over half of my feed is already filled with baking videos.” After being compelled to investigate, she had to perform a thorough search to locate Hasp’s whereabouts.

Isn’t it unlikely for Hasp to be careless enough to share her address in a public photo while she’s under witness protection? Could the person who employed the Iguana have somehow known that Charlie would be capable of guiding the killer to the location? (It’s plausible that Alex’s involvement might account for why Charlie attended the wedding, but let’s keep that quiet.)

Taylor Schilling brings humor to her role as an FBI agent, struggling with personal issues after her wife filed for divorce a week earlier. Notably, she is also a former cast member from “Orange Is the New Black.

Was it clear to everyone when they saw the date on the wedding invitation? It’s February 7th, 2026. And to put a fun spin on things, it seems like a popular fan theory has been validated: the events of “Poker Face” occur in the future.

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2025-07-03 17:54