North Korean Hackers Turn Thorchain into Their Personal Laundromat! 🤑💸

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Ah, Thorchain! A decentralized exchange protocol that once promised the moon and stars, now finds itself in a rather sticky situation, akin to a cat caught in a tree. Key developers are abandoning ship faster than you can say “illicit funds,” all due to a delightful little disagreement over how to deal with the unsavory characters using their network for nefarious purposes.

It seems that North Korea’s Lazarus Group has taken a liking to Thorchain, using it as a cozy little corner to launder Ethereum (ETH) pilfered from the recent Bybit hack. Who knew that crypto laundering could be so fashionable? 🕶️

Developers Throw in the Towel Over Illicit Transactions

Our dear Pluto, a core developer, has decided to resign, citing frustration akin to a chef whose soufflé has collapsed. He laments the network’s inability to block sanctioned transactions, while another developer, TCB, is contemplating a similar exit unless immediate action is taken. Perhaps they should consider a career in stand-up comedy instead? 🤡

In a moment of sheer brilliance, a temporary vote to halt ETH trading was swiftly reversed, raising eyebrows and concerns about governance. It’s almost as if they’re playing a game of musical chairs, but with far more serious consequences.

TCB took to X to air his grievances, criticizing Thorchain’s claims of decentralization. He argues that the network is more controlled than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. While Thorchain touts its censorship-resistant nature, many wallet providers are already filtering transactions like a picky eater at a buffet.

Decentralization? More Like Centralization with a Fancy Hat!

Unlike Bitcoin or Ethereum, which boast thousands of independent validators, Thorchain has a smaller, more centralized validator set. TCB argues that this makes it as vulnerable as a toddler in a candy store when regulatory pressure comes knocking. Some developers have suggested changes to improve decentralization, but those ideas seem to have been tossed aside like last week’s leftovers.

The situation is precarious, much like a tightrope walker without a safety net. If wallet providers and infrastructure partners decide to take a hike, Thorchain could find itself in a liquidity drought. Meanwhile, law enforcement agencies, including the FBI, are sharpening their pencils and increasing their focus on the Lazarus Group’s laundering antics, which could bring even more scrutiny to Thorchain. What a delightful mess!

The departure of key developers raises existential questions about the project’s future. If it continues to allow illicit transactions, regulatory action could follow like a bad sequel. If it enforces restrictions, it may alienate users who prioritize decentralization. It’s a classic case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“For those that hate me for speaking out against the cult, don’t worry, there’s a good possibility this is one of the last times I ever speak publicly about Thorchain. When the huge majority of your flows are stolen funds from North Korea for the biggest money heist in human history, it becomes a national security issue. This isn’t a game anymore.”

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2025-02-28 23:40