Natasha Rothwell Had to Do the How to Die Alone Cold Plunge Herself

As a writer and actor myself, I can truly empathize with the journey of bringing a vision to life. The process you’ve described feels incredibly familiar – the struggle, the anxiety, the joy when things finally start coming together. It’s like planting a seed and watching it bloom into something beautiful and meaningful.

Natasha Rothwell is still adjusting to being recognized, an unexpected feeling for the actress who played the scene-stealing character Kelli on Insecure for five years. Despite her powerful screen presence and rising prominence in Black culture, highlighted by her breakthrough role in The White Lotus (for which she will return in season three), Rothwell has found it challenging to fully accept that she is entitled to occupy space. Many successful Black women working in predominantly white industries can relate to this struggle. Rothwell’s ongoing journey of learning to claim her space, both figuratively and literally, has contributed to the creation of the acclaimed series How to Die Alone, which she wrote and stars in for Hulu. This project reflects her recognition of the importance of a coming-of-age story that celebrates self-discovery at every stage, even amidst the rocky path towards self-awareness.

Although the show is set in an airport and revolves around the main character’s fear of flying, watching Rothwell’s Melissa take off for the first time isn’t the most significant moment of the season finale. Instead, it’s when Melissa baptizes herself in Lake Michigan, slowly stripping off her clothes and running into the freezing water to mark her own acceptance of herself: strengths, flaws, and everything in between. “I felt the most free that I have ever felt in my entire life,” Rothwell says. “So much so that I was supposed to run in only once, but as I was coming out of the water and they were waiting for me to call ‘cut,’ I ran in for a second time.”

Given your frequent travels suggested by your social media posts, what made JFK airport such an appealing backdrop for the show? And how does Melissa’s aversion to flying symbolize something to you?

Witnessing Melissa leap into the lake was one of the most impactful moments of the season for me. Whenever I observe water being used in such a deeply spiritual manner, it reminds me of Toni Morrison’s quote: “All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was.” What do you think Melissa might have been recalling about herself during that moment? And what do you believe she may have been submitting to the universe at that time?

I remember running in and feeling a shock of water … there were tears coming out of my eyes. It just felt so good. I was in my body; I didn’t give a fuck. I had rolls falling out. It felt like a baptism. My best friend, who’s also a writer on the show — I met her when she wrote on Insecure — was sobbing, and the crew was sobbing. I called “cut” and told my best friend, “I don’t feel like the same person who came to Toronto to shoot this. I feel like a different person.”

That moment of going in the water felt like release and acceptance for the character. Coming out of the water felt like a rebirth where she realized there was a “me” before this moment and there was going to be a “me” after. And I felt like that in my real life. When we were in the edits for that scene, old me — and I mean recently old me — would have been like, “Could you airbrush those stretch marks off? Could you tighten up the back?” I wanted that moment to be that moment and have my full body as part of the story. And not as a teaching moment. What if someone just loved themself enough to run into the lake?

In the finale, when Melissa soared, it brought to mind a pivotal moment symbolizing the normalization of comfortable seating for all passengers on flights. This follows a series of scenes in the show that subtly addressed body positivity issues. Why was this detail significant to incorporate into her flying experience? For me, representing flight while being overweight has not been common in media or daily life. I used to cramp myself up during travel due to internalized feelings of taking up too much space and apologizing for my presence, even causing physical discomfort like back pain. I had to consciously break free from this habit when boarding trains or planes, claiming the space I needed without feeling guilty or ashamed. This includes not having a seatbelt dig into my stomach! Asking for an extension is just as normal as any other request, and it’s important that it’s portrayed casually in the story, rather than turning it into a lesson or spectacle. Given that existing as a plus-sized Black woman often means every action becomes a teaching moment, I wanted to present this aspect of her journey naturally without drawing undue attention.

Reflecting on you sitting in your seat brings back memories of when I used to see you lift your hand before speaking during your time at Saturday Night Live. Transitioning from working in that dynamic environment to having my own writers’ room, what was it like for you? In the new setting, raising my hand became a habit stemming from feeling out of place, even though I had a seat at the table. It was an “aha” moment when I realized, “Girl, just speak up!” You don’t need to raise your hand; you have the freedom to express yourself freely.

When setting up the “How to Die Alone” writers’ room, it was crucial that it felt like a welcoming, enjoyable space. My aim was to provide not just good but exceptional snacks, ensure the coffee stayed hot, and keep the pencils sharp. To kick off each day, we’d take time to check in with one another. I wanted everyone at the table to feel seen as individuals with lives outside of work – this way, they could freely show up as themselves without feeling the need to hide their morning mishaps like a flat tire or arguments with loved ones or pets. By bringing their whole selves into the room, I hoped they would also pour their authenticity onto the page. Essentially, I aimed to create an ideal workspace where everyone felt safe and supported.

Why did you pick identity theft as Melissa’s character flaw?

In previous discussions, it seemed you were hesitant to portray Melissa’s story in a traditional “before and after” format. Is it crucial for her narrative to conclude with legal repercussions, or do you believe there could be alternative endings that maintain the focus on her growth and struggles?

How does the evolution of Melissa resemble yours in any aspects? Both you and Melissa experienced a significant shift when you began to contemplate mortality more closely as you grew older. This realization made you both understand the fleeting nature of life. As you grappled with death and time, there were several moments leading up to writing the script that served as triggers for this introspection. For instance, an allergic reaction upon moving to L.A., a visit to urgent care, discarding processed food, and joining a farming co-op – although these changes didn’t last long. These transient responses are common when confronted with the ephemeral nature of life, so I decided to give Melissa an initial push and observe her reaction. Similarly, when faced with such moments in your own life, you would often try to find quick fixes to alleviate anxiety rather than embracing a well-lived life.

In a refreshing twist from typical romantic comedies, the show refuses to portray Melissa as only becoming lovable after self-improvement. Instead, there is always someone who adores her. Experiencing this delightful rom-com aspect was quite enjoyable. Moreover, it appears you followed Issa’s advice when selecting actors, as you managed to cast individuals embodying your desired qualities in a man and character. It’s remarkable to have the chance to create a character with all your preferred traits and then find someone who not only fits the bill but is also visually appealing. This job is truly a dream come true. I wanted Melissa to have attractive suitors pursuing her, yet without making it seem that she needed a good relationship or man to solve her problems. That trope felt trite and overused. Instead, I wanted to emphasize that she has numerous opportunities, but she hasn’t yet realized that she needs to include herself in the list of people worthy of love and admiration.

Regarding Issa, it’s common to hear fans say “Be sure to check out Kelli from Insecure’s latest project.” Did you experience any pressure from the audience to make Melissa a continuation of Kelli? Is it thrilling for people to discover more about you beyond that role?

In the course of working on “Insecure” and playing a role in “The White Lotus,” significant milestones in your career, how did these experiences contribute to the realization of “How to Die Alone”?

As a movie enthusiast, I can’t wait to see what happens next with Melissa’s story! Although there’s no official news about a second season yet, my co-showrunner Vera Santamaria and I have already mapped out four seasons of the show. We didn’t want to be caught off guard by sudden renewals for seasons two, three, or four, so we planned ahead. Once we receive the go-ahead, we’ll be all set to continue Melissa’s journey in season two!

2024-10-10 19:54

Natasha Rothwell Had to Do the How to Die Alone Cold Plunge Herself

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