‘My Spy: The Eternal City’ Review: Dave Bautista Anchors a Kiddie Espionage Caper That’s Too Generic to Fly

As a huge fan of action-comedy movies and someone who grew up watching James Bond films, I was excited to see “My Spy: The Eternal City.” The opening sequence had me hooked with its nod to classic spy films and the unexpected introduction of a teenage spy, Sophie, played by Chloe Coleman. Her quick wit and sass reminded me of my own rebellious teenage years, and I couldn’t help but root for her as she navigated through dangerous situations while also dealing with typical teenage drama.

In “My Spy: The Eternal City” (2021), the opening scene resembles an exhilarating Bond film or any movie aiming to give the “Kingsman” franchise a run for its money. On board a private jet, ex-Special Forces soldier and current CIA agent Dave Bautista (as JJ) ensures the safety of a teen idol named Ryan (Bill Barratt). Suddenly, an unexpected assault occurs as the flight attendant turns hostile. Amidst their fierce clash with sharp objects, a figure glides in through the sky on a jetpack, setting off a bomb on one of the plane’s windows and creating a large hole, causing everyone to plummet towards the ground. The scene unfolds into an intense mid-air struggle.

The hook? The jetpack flier is Sophie (Chloe Coleman), a teenage spy with hair like a tent of frizz. While falling through the air and rescuing JJ, she shouts, “So for the last time, can I go to the homecoming dance with Ryan this Saturday?” JJ: “Saturday? You’ve got underwater training scheduled!” Peeved, she lets JJ drop, clinging to Ryan instead. When he tells her that he can’t go to the dance with her because he’s taking Olivia Rodrigo instead, she drops him as well. So this is what happened to the James Bond future. Like power-strutting rock ‘n’ roll and death by fashion, it became bratty kicks for kids.

I must admit that labeling “My Spy: The Eternal City” as a film full of action would be an overstatement. While the initial scene is beyond extravagant, the narrative sadly slides into a predictable pattern that at times feels more like a watered-down version of “Spy Kids,” minus the cool gadgets and therefore, most of the enjoyment. This production leans more towards “Cloak and Dagger,” the 1984 thriller with Henry Thomas and Dabney Coleman, which was also an intricate web of espionage tropes dressed up with a “Let’s put on a show!” comedic sheen.

Chloe Coleman, the leading actress in “My Spy” movies, brings vibrant energy to her roles, appearing collected yet never apathetic. In the upcoming sequel to “My Spy” (2020), she portrays Sophie as a 14-year-old girl with a skeptical gaze towards JJ, her trainer in espionage skills who has since become involved romantically with her mother. Dwayne Johnson, the film’s primary focus, reprises his role with charm and brawn, displaying both tenderness and intimidation. Despite his imposing appearance, Johnson’s voice is the most striking aspect of his performance – rough yet quick-witted, as if sharing each thought to overpower you. Similar to other wrestlers turned actors, Bautista’s physical presence might be the first thing that comes to mind – the massive build, menacing glare, and powerful head reminiscent of a circus strongman. However, it is his voice that truly commands attention.

In “My Spy: The Eternal City,” the story unfolds primarily in Italy as JJ accompanies Sophie’s high school choir on their field trip. Amidst a classic teenage love triangle between Ryan, the self-centered heartthrob, and Collin, the diligent geek (portrayed by Taeho K), JJ unexpectedly crosses paths with Nancy, an oligarch’s glamorous girlfriend played by Anna Faris. With her platinum hair slicked back, magenta lipstick, and raccoon eyeshadow, Nancy leads a group of criminals. Infuriated by certain oligarchs losing their wealth, Nancy reveals the presence of a dangerous weapon hidden beneath the Vatican. Despite the gravity of this situation, the film features Ken Jeong as the CIA’s head of operations, who, along with JJ, gets attacked by an aggressive flock of finches during their mission.

I found the movie to be rather light in tone without enough humor to keep me fully engaged. The direction, by Peter Segal known for “Tommy Boy” and “The Naked Gun 33 1/3,” felt overly generic with an excessive amount of action. One unexpectedly humorous moment stood out though. In this scene, the villain, disguised electromagnetically, issues threats and ultimatums to CIA headquarters. He demands that $15 million be paid “per G7 country.” If not, he warns, there will be no more G7. In response, Craig Robinson as a CIA operative exclaims, “We need to move POTUS now!” However, the way the movie is structured leaves you questioning: What role does POTUS play in all of this?

In this scene, I was amused by an unexpected moment. JJ faces off against a henchman portrayed by Flula Borg as a blend of Colin Firth’s elegance and Dolph Lundgren’s strength. The henchman admits to visiting JJ’s home and saving his dog but reveals that JJ’s prized blue fish is now “with the fishes.” With eyes blazing like hot embers, JJ declares, “I forgive you for what I’m about to do,” before unleashing his rage, resembling a human version of the Terminator. Kristen Schaal, as JJ’s right-hand operative, delivers an exceptional rendition of “Release the Kraken!” throughout most of the film, but going forward, Bautista must figure out how to harness his charisma without it becoming too tamed.

2024-07-18 08:46

‘My Spy: The Eternal City’ Review: Dave Bautista Anchors a Kiddie Espionage Caper That’s Too Generic to Fly

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