MicroStrategy Doubles Down with $84B Bitcoin Buying Frenzy

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In what might be described as a well-timed gamble—or perhaps a desperate attempt to win at the digital roulette wheel—Executive Chairman Michael Saylor took to social media to announce his latest masterstroke: an $84 billion Bitcoin buying plan. Yes, you read that right. A staggering $84 billion. It seems the only thing more aggressive than MicroStrategy’s expansion plans is their commitment to making Bitcoin the only thing that matters in the universe (besides, of course, Saylor’s Twitter feed). 🤑

To further fuel its ever-growing Bitcoin obsession, MicroStrategy has done what any sensible corporate entity would do: doubled down on its capital deployment strategy. In an unprecedented move, the company has pledged $42 billion in equity and another $42 billion in fixed income—because why not spread the risk across two massive buckets? All this, of course, is to increase their exposure to the ever-fluctuating, wildly volatile, and occasionally spectacularly unpredictable digital currency. Clearly, the firm is in for the long haul, or at least until the next market crash. 💸

But wait, there’s more! If you think that was ambitious, you’re in for a treat. MicroStrategy has upped its Bitcoin yield goal from a modest 15% to a hearty 25%. But that’s not all, folks! They’re also increasing their Bitcoin dollar gain target for the year from a humble $10 billion to a rather brazen $15 billion. Because why aim low when you can shoot for the stars (or possibly the moon—whichever suits the mood)? 🚀

In all seriousness (or at least a semblance of it), this announcement solidifies MicroStrategy’s position as the world’s most committed Bitcoin hoarder, a title that Saylor no doubt wears like a crown of digital gold. The company continues to outpace all expectations, proving that when it comes to corporate Bitcoin adoption, no one does it quite like them.

Michael Saylor announces BTC Yield of 13.7% and BTC $ Gain of $5.8B year-to-date, doubles capital plan to $42B equity and $42B fixed income to purchase bitcoin, and increases BTC Yield target from 15% to 25% and BTC $ Gain target from $10B to $15B for 2025.

— Michael Saylor (@saylor)

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2025-05-02 14:41