Michael Saylor’s Hilarious Take on On-Chain Proof of Reserves: A Comedy of Errors!

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Ah, dear reader, gather ’round as we delve into the musings of the illustrious Michael Saylor, that sage of Bitcoin, who, with a furrowed brow and a twinkle of irony in his eye, warns us of the perils lurking within the realm of on-chain proof-of-reserves. A notion, he declares, fraught with the kind of security implications that would make even the most intrepid of souls shudder! 😱

At a recent gathering, amidst the glitz and glamour of the Bitcoin 2025 conference in Las Vegas—where fortunes are made and lost faster than you can say “blockchain”—Saylor was queried about the audacious organizations daring to embrace transparency. With a sigh that echoed through the halls of financial wisdom, he proclaimed, “The current conventional way to publish proof of reserve is an insecure proof of reserve.” Oh, the irony! A security measure that is, in fact, a security risk! Who would have thought? 😂

When pressed further by the ever-curious Mitchell Askew, head analyst at Blockware Solutions, about whether his own esteemed Strategy would join this parade of transparency, Saylor artfully dodged the question like a seasoned politician. “It’s a bad idea,” he said, as if revealing the secrets of the universe. The crowd gasped, clutching their pearls! 💔

I asked @saylor if @MicroStrategy has any plans to publish on-chain proof of reserves

His answer will SHOCK you

“It’s a bad idea.”

– Security Risk
– Irrelevant without also having Big 4-audited liabilities

Check it out 👇

— Mitchell ✝️🇺🇸 (@MitchellHODL) May 27, 2025

Proof-of-reserves, that beloved tool of cryptocurrency exchanges, is meant to assure us that they possess enough digital gold to cover our deposits. Yet, Saylor, with the wisdom of a thousand philosophers, cautions that this very practice could expose vulnerabilities that would make even the bravest of security experts tremble. “No seasoned enterprise would ever recommend revealing all wallet addresses,” he warns, as if reciting a cautionary tale from the annals of financial folklore. 🏰

He even proposed a thought experiment—imagine asking an AI to analyze the consequences of publishing your wallet addresses. The result? A tome of 50 pages detailing the myriad risks! A veritable novel of caution! 📚

In the wake of the FTX debacle, where trust was shattered like glass, many crypto exchanges have rushed to adopt proof-of-reserves, hoping to rebuild their reputations. Yet, Saylor remains steadfast, asserting that this approach is as flawed as a three-legged dog in a race. 🐶

Under his astute leadership, Strategy stands tall as the largest corporate holder of Bitcoin, clutching approximately 580,250 BTC like a dragon hoarding its treasure. And so, dear reader, we are left to ponder: in a world where transparency reigns supreme, is ignorance truly bliss? 🤔

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2025-05-27 13:11