The solitary road to 10,000 BTC is now more than halfway wandered, as Metaplanet counts its digital gold in anticipation beneath the haze of December’s end. The wind mutters “to the moon,” but who among us believes in the moon anymore? 🚀🌑
In an Age of Shadows, Metaplanet Shovels Up 555 BTC (Yes, Again)
In the mist-smothered streets of Tokyo—where cherry blossoms once dared to bloom above the clamor—Metaplanet, that former innkeeper of restless nights and unclaimed hotel soaps, has acquired 555 bitcoin (BTC). Their new hoard now shimmers at 5,555 BTC, each digital coin almost as rare as a line of poetry that doesn’t confuse someone.
A Wednesday morning announcement attempted to explain this, but like all true believers they were simply singing to the winter air.
Earlier, when the sakura petals yet clung to their mother branches and hope was cheaper by the dozen, Metaplanet unfurled its legendary “21 Million Plan”—a campaign of such audacity that Dostoevsky would’ve asked for receipts. They promised to sprinkle 21 million shares on the earth, thus harvesting 21,000 BTC by 2026’s twilight.
To guide them through this blizzard, they’ve summoned crypto oracles: Eric Trump, Dylan LeClair, and David Bailey—names so resonant they echo in every speculative café from Ginza to Vladivostok. 😏
The grand plot stirs: 10,000 BTC by winter’s last cough, then galloping after 11,000 more in 2026, all for 21,000 BTC by next year—like a Chekhovian shotgun that has to be fired before Act Three.
Today’s 555 BTC is another page torn from the ledger of easy explanations and uneasy investors.
“Five thousand five hundred and fifty-five BTC,” pronounced CEO Simon Gerovich in a self-referential X post. “In Japanese, five is ‘go’—so we chant, ‘Go, go, go, go, to the moon and beyond.”
Take that, Tsiolkovsky. 🚀🌕
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2025-05-07 23:41