Love Is Blind Can’t Keep Up With the Discourse

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Right from the get-go, the reality show “Love Is Blind” has been just as much about navigating modern dating through digital means as it is about exploring the idea of love beyond physical appearances suggested in its title. At the beginning of each new season, hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey gather the contestants to ask their reasons for joining the program. Consistently, their responses underscore a yearning to escape the digital realm: They seek genuine connections without being swayed by Instagram images; they aspire to bond with someone outside the superficial confines of dating apps. In essence, blind relationships aim to eliminate initial physical judgments, but they also strive to silence the digital clamor. It’s in these interactions that people can truly connect, unencumbered by distractions or prejudices.

In its recent run, the show “Love Is Blind” aims to illustrate how modern technology like social media and smartphones can complicate trust-building, preserve traces of past relationships, subject individuals to greater public scrutiny, and overall disrupt the pure experience of two people getting to know each other without external influences. The impact of current communication methods on relationships offers rich, thought-provoking material for a reality dating program. However, it seems that “Love Is Blind” lacks the depth to effectively delve into this intriguing aspect.

Towards the close of episode six, Taylor calls Daniel relatively soon after their unveiling to discuss her concerns about his Instagram-induced anxiety. Upon encountering him initially, she claims to have felt as if she recognized his face and suspects he followed her on the platform prior to them both appearing on Love Is Blind. With a penchant for Christmas, Taylor recalls a man following her on Instagram with a profile picture of himself standing in front of a Christmas tree. If this detail is accurate, it suggests Daniel violated one of the show’s fundamental rules: Contestants are not supposed to know what their dating partners look like within the pods. “I want you to understand why I’m feeling uneasy,” Taylor explains to him. Could everything they had established be based on a deceit?

Following their honeymoon in Honduras, Dave and Lauren find themselves bombarded with calls from Dave’s friends and family, inquiring about Lauren’s past relationship labeled as “friends with benefits”. In the ninth episode, phones make another appearance to disrupt harmony. Sara and Ben share a blissful, laughter-filled chat on the couch about their mutual affection, until Sara momentarily checks her phone. She looks shocked, then sighs. “It’s just too much to have our phones back,” she tells Ben. A girl on TikTok is discussing an unidentified “bad guy” rumored to be in the season. “I believe she’s talking about me,” Ben says. The background music transitions into somber piano notes, hinting at tension and worry. Oh dear, the show seems to warn, suggesting that it’s happening once more – someone has picked up their phone!

The reality show “Love Is Blind” hasn’t shied away from exploring how smartphones can impact relationships before. For instance, in season six, Brittany felt neglected when Kenneth kept focusing on his phone instead of talking to her; she suspected he was using it as an escape. Similarly, Laura discovered Jeramey was likely cheating when she tracked his location and found him spending long hours in one spot, meeting up with his ex. Upon returning home, the cast members often follow each other on Instagram, which is shown onscreen. In season six, Jessica used this to console herself after Jimmy broke up with her, assuming he’d see her posts and realize his mistake. In season seven, social media posts revealed Tyler’s hidden past, including a relationship and children he hadn’t told Ashley about. However, most of these phone-related issues just intensified problems that were already present in relationships. For example, Tyler did indeed have undisclosed kids, but Jeramey would have found another way to cheat if not for the phone, and Kenneth was avoiding Brittany regardless.

In the eighth season, the show explores how phones are becoming increasingly disruptive in relationships, as seen clearly through Taylor’s Instagram crisis. Her mind has created a false image of Daniel based on an Instagram account that she only vaguely recalls seeing once. This illusion has led her to believe, irrationally, that Daniel recognized her from the start. However, when given her phone, she finds no evidence to support this belief, and it becomes clear she has been misled by her own anxiety. The phone here is portrayed as the antagonist, leading Taylor astray and causing her to doubt her loving fiancé, who can only watch helplessly as she grapples with an anxiety she herself has fabricated.

The dispute between Ben and Sara is complex and likely to persist in upcoming episodes. The fundamental issue stems from an anonymous TikTok user bringing up Ben’s past, which has been used to tarnish his reputation without providing a platform for him to defend himself. This situation mirrors that of Lauren and Dave in their smaller social circle. Details about how Ben may have acted wrongly are scarce, and when he attempts to clarify that the relationship was insignificant and he barely recalls it, Sara (similar to Taylor and Dave) is even more perplexed by the lack of information. “How can you not remember, Ben?” she queries. As the conversations continue via phone, Ben’s evasiveness becomes a problem. He admits there may have been occasional messages, but he’s unsure of the content of those messages.

Phones and their associated platforms like dating apps and social media are often depicted as antithetical to the experiment seen in the show “Love is Blind”. The relationships formed through genuine conversation seem authentic, while those established online may be considered shallow, transient, hollow, and distracting. However, it’s important to acknowledge that these digital platforms have the potential to cause harm, such as fostering anxiety or disrupting lives.

In reality, the world of social media is far more complex and messy than what “Love Is Blind” portrays. For instance, Ben and Sara’s relationship in the show is impacted by an off-screen TikTok video that serves as a hidden barrier between them, much like a blind date stuck in a pod longing for something they can’t access without leaving the show. The mystery surrounding this online interaction—whether the person is credible, their vibe, the number of likes, and comments on the video—creates confusion and adds to the intrigue.

Unfortunately, the details are often lost in the flattening of context when we interact online, making it difficult to fully understand the dynamics at play. It’s almost as if “Love Is Blind” is stuck in a superficial relationship with social media itself, mirroring its concern for the participants’ experiences on these platforms.

It’s no wonder that the show Love Is Blind steers clear of extensive investigations into the vast world of social media posts. From the start, the focus has been solely on the couples and their relationships with each other. Issues such as personal history, values like religion, money, fidelity, family, and shared aspirations for the future are at the forefront. The show operates on a Pre-Cana-like system of compatibility, steering clear of traditional matchmaking questionnaires about modern dating behaviors like ghosting exes, DM sliding, excessive online disclosure, or Instagram stalking. Although these aspects are crucial in contemporary relationships and greatly influence the cast, they are not part of the show’s narrative. Instead, Love Is Blind‘s attempt to exclude this dimension of modern partnership resembles exactly what the series aims to avoid: a shallow, partial discussion that fails to provide the depth needed to truly understand these individuals and their situations.

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2025-02-27 00:54