Jason Statham’s Most Deranged Character Names, Ranked

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Originally published in 2018, Guy Ritchie has since then created several eccentric character names for Jason Statham. This article now includes those roles, along with the action star’s latest extraordinary title portrayed in “A Working Man.

Jason Statham has battled drug lords, Mafia bosses, Dwayne Johnson, and sharks. This weekend, he confronts human traffickers in “A Working Man“, his second film directed by David Ayer, who is also the director of “The Beekeeper“. In both movies, Statham portrays an ordinary man with a remarkable past. Something terrible occurs near him, and suddenly, it’s not the right time to pull out the Uzis. Interestingly, in “The Beekeeper“, Statham plays “Adam Clay”, a common name. However, in “A Working Man“, Ayer adds an intriguing twist to Statham’s career by introducing yet another character with an unusual name: Levon Cade.

As a film enthusiast, I must clarify that Jason Statham doesn’t always portray characters whose names seem like they were randomly generated by a feverishly sentient word generator. In his early franchise roles, he played “Frank Martin” from the Transporter series and “Arthur Bishop” in the Mechanic series. However, let me emphasize that Statham belongs in the esteemed company of actors who defy conventional naming norms, sharing this pantheon with the likes of Mark Wahlberg (Dirk Diggler, Cade Yeager, Dusty Mayron, Bob Lee Swagger, Huck Dembo) and Matthew McConaughey (Palmer Joss, Denton Van Zan, Dirk Pitt, Baker Dill, Moondog).

Mark Neveldine, co-writer/director of “Crank” and “Crank: High Voltage”, notes that Statham attracts absurd names. He credits this to Statham’s distinctive look, aura, and voice, stating he excels at making even the most ludicrous scenarios seem serious. This talent for blending action roles with comedic flair is what makes Statham an exceptional choice as an action star, and a valuable asset in comedy as well. Who could forget his memorable line, “This arm has been completely ripped off and reattached with this… freaking arm”?

Below, we rank Statham’s most ridiculous character names, from least to most wild.

15. Yves Gluant, The Pink Panther

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=VRYhsnlV3BE

In the remake of the film “Pink Panther” featuring Steve Martin, there’s a brief appearance by Jason Statham as a character named Yves Gluant, who happens to be a soccer coach. The humor lies in the fact that Jason Statham is well-known for his ruggedly tough, working-class English image, but in this role, he portrays a French individual, adding an amusing twist to the character.

14. Deckard Shaw, the Fast and Furious franchise

Deckard Shaw” leans more towards an exaggerated masculinity rather than being goofy or silly, fitting perfectly within the over-the-top style characteristic of the Fast and Furious series (as usual, #JusticeforHan).

13. Handsome Rob, The Italian Job

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=3QLwg0n0cwI

He’s handsome, and his name is Rob. Unimaginative, but accurate.

12. Jensen Garner Ames, Death Race

The name ‘Jensen Garner Ames’ doesn’t refer to a former race-car driver falsely accused of murdering his wife to be imprisoned in a profit-driven penal system where drivers are compelled to compete in deadly races for their liberty. Instead, it is the name of a character on a mediocre CW sitcom. This ‘Jensen’ could be a husband from the ‘Real Housewives’ franchise, perhaps a real estate lawyer or a plastic surgeon, someone who has achieved success but not excessively so, and most definitely someone who uses hair plugs.

11. Evan Funsch, The One

You might assume that the role of “Evan Funsch,” a man who expounds on the Multiverse Theory to Jet Li, would be better suited for an actor like Paul Giamatti. However, it turns out that Jason Statham was cast instead.

10. Farmer, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Even if the possibility of Jason Statham portraying a farmer named Farmer in a Uwe Boll film sounds intriguing, it’s not enough to make the movie worthwhile. It’s no secret that a movie titled “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale” would have issues with naming consistency, but what on earth is this? I can’t decide if it’s better or worse that Farmer’s backstory involves him as a toddler wandering a battlefield and being found and presumably named by Ron Perlman. When asked whether this man actually has a real name, his wife replies, “Your father believes people become what they do.” If Jason Statham’s character is to be believed by this logic, he could be named “Skilled Boomerang User,” “Man with Emotional Blockages Unable to Express Love to His Wife,” or “Mystical Book Whirlwind.” Yes, Jason Statham uses a boomerang and transforms into a book whirlwind. No, don’t waste your time on this film.

9. Nick Wild, Wild Card

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=nBRTe09eseE

It seems unusual if your surname is “Wild” yet you’re not a wild character, wouldn’t you agree? For instance, if Jason Statham’s character in this Vegas-based film wasn’t a compulsive gambler and bodyguard who assaults Milo Ventimiglia with a butter knife, but instead an actuary who goes to Vegas for a weekend getaway to play $10 craps.

8. Terry Leather, The Bank Job

The movie titled “The Bank Job” is inspired by a real-life event, specifically the 1971 heist at a London bank where numerous safe deposit boxes were stolen, including one rumored to contain sensitive photos of Princess Margaret. However, since the actual culprits remain unknown, the filmmakers had freedom in their naming choices. For the main character, the family-oriented, rugged yet compassionate gang leader, they chose the name “Terry Leather.” It’s a straightforward choice, but adding “Terry” gives him a more relatable feel, preventing him from appearing too stereotypically masculine like a Tom of Finland character.

7. Mason Hargreaves, Wrath of Man

In the conversation, director Guy Ritchie presents his 2021 crime thriller titled “Wrath of Man.” Initially, Jason Statham’s character is introduced as Patrick Hill, an armored-truck guard, but later in the film, he unveils himself as the criminal mastermind Mason Hargreaves. Although not the most action-packed Statham name, “Mason Hargreaves” could plausibly belong to someone, making one wonder if it’s a struggling British aristocrat, a young child with an old soul, or perhaps both in a unique blend of tradition and precocity. If DreamWorks requires more suggestions for a potential spin-off of “Boss Baby,” they are welcome to reach out.

6. Levon Cade, A Working Man

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=zTbgNC42Ops

In simpler terms, “Levon Cade” seems to be a common type of character name in Statham films, much like “MacKynzie” or “Ashlynn” might be for other actors, and it’s as if he’s trying to say “Warren Zevon” with a stuffy nose. This character is often seen on basic cable, usually at 2 p.m. on Sundays, fighting human traffickers (with the profanities censored). Despite watching these scenes out of order, you still can’t figure out the storyline. And it seems this will continue to happen every Sunday, without end.

5. Orson Fortune, Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre

Once more, Guy Ritchie steps into the spotlight, and what a thriller it appears to be! If you’re among the handful who watched 2023’s Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre, you already know that Jason Statham embodies the charming superspy, Orson Fortune. Any man named Orson Fortune either resembles Jason Statham or Rowan Atkinson, with no one in between. This comes as no surprise from the director who has previously brought us…

4. and 3. Turkish (Snatch) and Bacon (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=GQXl9K265eA

Ritchie kick-started Statham’s illustrious career with his initial two films, the 1998 movie “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and the 2000 film “Snatch.” (Though the name Ono Mastic might fit nicely in Statham’s movie portfolio.) In both films, Statham, true to Ritchie’s style, portrayed a small-time crook who found himself entangled in big-time chaos. The characters Turkish and Bacon have an intriguing ring to them: Turkish was named after a plane crash, while the origin of Bacon remains unclear—was it the day when Ritchie happened to be craving bacon? Such are mere words! Names like Mason Hargreaves and Orson Future may bring a chuckle, but it’s the straightforwardness of Turkish and Bacon that makes them memorable. We are all just letters in the grand scheme of things.

2. Lee Christmas (The Expendables franchise)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=3MbTDGABc2U

The Expendables movie series features an array of character names, ranging from average (“Barney Ross”), extremely silly (“Toll Road”), downright offensive (“Yin Yang”), to impressive (“Terry Crews as Hale Caesar”). Jason Statham’s knife expert character, “Lee Christmas,” falls under the impressive category. The inclusion of “It’s Christmastime” in the first film by Sylvester Stallone is commendable. However, one might wonder if they missed an opportunity to slip in a classic Christmas joke like, “Christmas only comes once a year.” That seems like something stereotypical straight guys would do, right? You know, engage in conversations about each other’s masculinity or physical attributes.

1. Chev Chelios, Crank and Crank: High Voltage

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=rMTyUXdAwhs

Undeniably, there’s no rival for the character named “Chev Chelios,” an ideal choice for a live-action Grand Theft Auto persona, who must snort cocaine and shock himself with a defibrillator just to keep living.

The character name Chev Chelios, as portrayed by Jason Statham, is arguably one of the greatest in film history due to its unique origin story, which involves mocking someone. In an exclusive interview with me, Mark Neveldine, one of the writers-directors of “Crank” and “Crank: High Voltage”, explained the backstory. They were working on their first paid project when a man on set boasted about drinking from the Stanley Cup with Chris Chelios. The way he said his name amused Brian Taylor and Neveldine, who found the name ‘Chev’ masculine, thereby creating an unstoppable character.

According to Taylor, “Chev Chelios” was primarily created to make Mark laugh, as we constantly joked about the Stanley Cup man. The remaining 10% was due to Neveldine and Taylor aiming for a Stan Lee/Jack Kirby/Marvel Comics-style alliteration, like Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Doctor Doom, etc. … If any Jack Kirby character had come to life, it’s Jason in Crank!

Bonus: “Silver-Painted Dancer,” Erasure’s “Run to the Sun” music video

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=AvhgG9ee9Aw

Behold your God.

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2025-03-28 19:56