Jack Dorsey’s Block: S&P 500…Finally?! 🙄

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So, apparently Block Inc. – you know, the company Jack Dorsey co-founded, the one that used to be Square, the one that’s basically obsessed with Bitcoin ₿ – is joining the S&P 500 this week. Honestly, it’s a bit like letting the slightly chaotic friend plan the dinner party. Still, they’re the second crypto-focused company to make the cut, which is…progress? 🎉

They confirmed it on Friday, the actual joining happens Wednesday, July 23rd. And they’re taking the spot of poor Hess Corp., who are being unceremoniously ejected after Chevron decided to, well, *acquire* them. It’s all very corporate Darwinism, isn’t it? 🌍

The market’s reaction? A slightly hysterical 10% jump in share price. Because nothing says “stable investment” like a company heavily invested in something as predictably calm as cryptocurrency. 🙃 Block is calling it a “significant milestone.” Which, okay. Let’s go with that.

Apparently, they get into the S&P 500 if they’re big enough, profitable enough (eventually?), liquid enough, and trade enough. So, Block’s addition means they’ve grown up a bit. Which is good, because frankly, for a while, it felt like they were just throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck. (Blockchain, anyone? 🤔)

Speaking of growing up, remember earlier this year when they had to, um, *downsize*? Like, a full 8% of the workforce. Because revenue and profit weren’t exactly setting the world on fire. Dorsey said it was to “improve strategic alignment” and “organisational efficiency.” Which basically translates to “Oops, maybe we over-hired.” They closed 748 positions. Ouch. 😬

This all happens just two months after Coinbase got the S&P 500 nod. They were the first crypto company to brave the index, which felt like a turning point…or maybe just a temporary glitch in the matrix. 👾

Block started life as Square way back in 2009, helping small businesses take card payments. Then they decided payments weren’t enough and rebranded to Block Inc. in 2021, determined to become the everything-blockchain-to-everyone company. Ambitious, to say the least. 🤷‍♀️

Now they’ve got this whole portfolio of things: Square, Cash App (where you can gamble away your money on Bitcoin – I mean, *invest* in Bitcoin), Afterpay, TIDAL (music, apparently?), Proto, and Bitkey. It’s…a lot. They’re trying to give everyone access to financial stuff. Bless them. 😇

And the Bitcoin obsession continues. You can buy, sell, and transfer it on Cash App. They’ve got Bitkey, a self-custody wallet so you can lose your Bitcoin all on your own. And Proto is building mining hardware. Seriously, it’s all about the Bitcoin. 💰

They even have 8,584 BTC on their balance sheet – that’s about a billion dollars! And get this: they put 10% of their monthly Bitcoin profits *back* into Bitcoin. It’s like a self-fulfilling, slightly terrifying prophecy. 🤯 It’s a whole system, really. A system.

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2025-07-21 11:52