Is the Minecraft Movie 2025 the Worst Film Ever?

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In the realm of movie versions of video games, we can divide them into two main categories: outstanding hits (such as The Last of Us) and instant disappointments (unfortunately, a Minecraft film falls into this category). I apologize for any letdown.

When it comes to movies based on video games, they often fall into either the successful or unsuccessful camp. For example, The Last of Us is a huge success, while a Minecraft movie sadly doesn’t measure up. My apologies for any inconvenience.

Over the past two years since I became part of TopMob’s team, I’ve developed a talent for choosing less-than-stellar live-action remakes to cover. Five Nights at Freddy’s was my first pick (it seems almost brilliant now), followed by Borderlands, which I can forgive due to the presence of LOML Cate Blanchett. A Minecraft Movie completes my trio of horror films. I’m usually pleased to enjoy a bit of trash, but this goes beyond acceptable limits for me.

Why are we so critical of newly released movies right away? It’s as intricate and straightforward as the world in a video game. Despite watching it just a few days ago, I’m still furious about almost every part of my viewing experience, with Jennifer Coolidge being the only exception. I’ll discuss that further soon.

Is it possible that a Minecraft movie may fail to delight audiences beyond dedicated gamers due to its questionable dialogue, weak plot development, and characters resembling toys from fast-food meals? Indeed, devoted players might want to brace themselves for potential disappointment.

What is A Minecraft Movie about?

In this rephrased version: Let’s suppose you’re well-versed with the rules of the game. Picture a world made entirely of cubes as our setting. As a kid, Steve (portrayed by Jack Black) had an affinity for the mines but was barred from entering until he resembled the wrestler Nacho Libre. Once granted access, he stumbled upon a cube-shaped orb that served as the key to the Outerworld’s gateway. Intrigue took hold of him, prompting his immediate visit to Piglin Malgosha (played by Rachel House) in the Nether realm.

When Dennis, a fine young man, successfully conceals the orb within our physical world, unknowingly Henry (Sebastian Hansen) re-activates the portal. With Garrett “The Trash Collector” Garrison (Jason Momoa), Dawn (Danielle Brooks), Natalie (Emma Myers), and Henry stranded in the Overworld, it falls to Steve to rescue them all.

The Overworld is best left open world

Open-world games, like The Sims, aren’t typically designed with a central storyline. Trying to force one into these games can lead to issues, as was seen with the Minecraft movie. Fans have been expressing their creativity within these games for years. Would the narrative imposed on them be something they would have chosen themselves?

Essentially, the movie adaptation of Minecraft falls short of capturing the essence we’ve come to expect from the game. It fails not only to showcase the exciting journey and survival aspects that define Minecraft, but also misses the mark in creating an enjoyable film experience. The end result feels like an incomplete version, with each element lacking the impact one would hope for while watching it unfold.

While the cinematography is indeed visually stunning and the accuracy to the game’s details commendable, if you’re seeking awe-inspiring creatures flying over breathtaking cliffs, I’d recommend watching Avatar instead.

In this film, the risks aren’t particularly significant, the acting isn’t exceptionally strong (but Momoa and Black do have some amusing chemistry), and the action is lackluster at best. The most unsettling aspect is a character named Malgosha impaling a young Piglin in full view for drawing a picture of a house. This scene is handled with chilling disregard, and it’s quite odd to witness.

The game features numerous captivating aspects (like the crafting station, constructing buildings and tools, and the layout of the Overworld), but it’s clear that these elements are much more immersive within the game itself. So, one might wonder, what does the movie contribute to the viewing experience? Not much, except perhaps unsettling dreams about the creepy sheep portrayed in the image above.

From their acting, it seems as though many members of the cast aren’t particularly passionate about the original game (with Myers being the notable exception). This lack of enthusiasm contributes to a wandering, confused atmosphere throughout this almost two-hour film, which isn’t favorable. Henry might strike you as an even more annoying version of Young Sheldon – if that’s imaginable – and this could potentially explain the peculiar nature of the movie’s awards.

There are some fun elements for gamers, as numerous YouTubers make appearances and the details in the game’s environment are well thought out, just as one might expect. Be sure to pay close attention to the mine area, as it may hold a clue.

It’s Jennifer Coolidge to save the day

I’d like to express gratitude, Jesus, for Jennifer Coolidge. She truly is the bright spot in a potential Minecraft film. In contrast to the digital realm, her character undergoes a journey marked by divorce and an extraordinary encounter with an Overworld villager, which proves transformative for her.

She is the one individual who manages to elicit genuine, out-loud laughter during your viewing, and her unique, quirky approach to comedy, combined with her sharp wit and impeccable timing, makes every brief appearance on screen memorable. To put it simply, she deserves this prominent position in the review, and perhaps even a raise for her exceptional performance.

It’s hard not to feel a bit frustrated, though. Despite garnering awards for two consecutive seasons of The White Lotus and essentially revitalizing her career, Tanya McQuoid was written off like this? This is why we lost such an alluring Peppa Pig on our screens? Couldn’t Coolidge return from the dead for Season 4 instead?

TopMob Review Score: 1/5 – Awful

Honestly, I preferred that annoying kid kicking my seat during the train journey to the movie, the rushed £1.75 Greggs sausage roll dinner, and five and a half hours of Marvel’s Doomsday chairs reveal combined, than a Minecraft Movie. In other words, I won’t be eagerly waiting for the Minecraft Movie when it starts streaming.

Game enthusiasts, kindly focus on the game at hand. Movie lovers, consider spending your funds elsewhere. Parents, do your best to keep your cool when your children request to watch it. I hope you have a delightful experience with your unavoidable Happy Meal.

1) If you’re keen on watching a Minecraft film, catch it in theaters starting from April 4th! As for an exciting gaming experience, stay updated with the latest news about The Last of Us Season 2 and the upcoming Horizon TV series.

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2025-04-02 22:19