Is the Great Depression 2.0 Coming? Top Economist’s Dire Warning!

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Ah, brace yourselves, darlings! According to one particularly grim professor, the odds of a recession are not just high, they’re positively *astronomical*—around 90%! Yes, you read that correctly. NINETY percent! Forget those cutesy 40–60% forecasts from the likes of JPMorgan and Goldman Sachs, this chap isn’t in the mood for sugarcoating anything. He told David Lin, with all the enthusiasm of a weathered soothsayer, that the end is nigh.

“I think it’s over 90%. A recession is coming. Sales drop, profits drop, earnings drop. It’s that simple,” said Hanke, with a flair for the dramatic that would make even the most seasoned theatre actor blush. 💸

Wall Street? Too Many Rose-Tinted Glasses, Hanke Suggests

Now, let’s talk Wall Street, shall we? S&P 500 earnings expectations have already gone from a modest 15% to a humble 10%. But our dear professor isn’t satisfied with modesty. Oh no, he believes that zero growth—or even negative returns—are far more *realistic*. Ah, the thrill of pessimism!

And if you think Hanke’s the only one with this delightful view of the future, you’d be mistaken. JPMorgan’s very own Jamie Dimon has recently warned that earnings could fall flat or, dare we say, sink into the abyss. How *charming*.

Echoes of the 1930s: A Tariff Tale to Remember

But wait, it gets better—or worse, depending on your outlook! Hanke, ever the history buff, couldn’t resist making a comparison to the Great Depression. Apparently, today’s tariff hikes—*yes, those tariffs*—remind him of the infamous Smoot-Hawley Act that triggered an 83% stock market crash from 1930 to 1932. Oh joy, history repeating itself like a bad dinner party conversation.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get more dramatic, Hanke throws in a juicy tidbit: Trump’s tariff plans are already sending shivers down the spines of the markets. History, it seems, is playing a rather wicked game with us. “Bad policy turned a recession into a depression. We’re flirting with the same mistake,” Hanke ominously quips. Is there a twinkle of hope? Well, not if you’re fond of your financial stability. 😬

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2025-04-13 16:26