Investors Swoon and SEC Sighs: Bitwise’s Dogecoin and Aptos ETFs Tease Wall Street

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Bitwise Asset Management, in a flourish worthy of a society debutante scandal, has dispatched a freshly powdered set of S-1 forms to the United States Securities and Exchange Commission—the infamously dour guardians of financial virtue—for its Dogecoin and Aptos ETFs.

The filings represent yet another chapter in Bitwise’s tireless crusade to wrap crypto in a three-piece suit, ensuring that eager investors may bask in the reflected glow of DOGE and APT without the inconvenience of actually keeping coins under their mattresses (where they surely belong!). These marvelous ETFs are organized as Delaware trusts—a state more famous for its corporations than its scenery—and will fall under the watchful monocle of Bitwise Investment Advisers, LLC.

On June 12, the ever-cautious SEC, perpetually clutching its pearls, waved a delicately scented handkerchief and announced delays in blessing the Bitwise Dogecoin ETF. This paragon of financial innovation is backed by Coinbase Custody and was first filed on March 3, 2025—a date already spoken of in hushed tones at exclusive dinner parties. The commission, with Shakespearean solemnity, extended its review, insisting it required ‘additional time’ to contemplate market risks and investor protections. One might suspect they simply wanted another cup of tea.

Meanwhile, the Aptos ETF—how daring!—struts onto the stage as the very first U.S.-based, APT-centric ETF. Bitwise registered its Delaware trust for this digital ingénue with the subtlety of a butler gliding across a Persian rug back on February 25, 2025, quietly preparing for this grand entrance.

In conclusion, dear reader: while the SEC dithers, spectators are left to wonder whether these ETFs will be permitted to waltz through the markets, or if instead they shall remain tragic figures, forever awaiting approval in the drawing room of regulatory suspense. 🧐💸

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2025-06-26 19:05