How a Musician Made $3 Million and Then Lost It All to Taxes and Crypto Madness!

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Once upon a time, there was a jolly musician named Jonathan Mann who fancied himself a bit of a digital wizard. He had this quirky project, the “Song A Day” gig, where he churned out tunes like a madman. But this tale isn’t about his tunes—it’s about how he made a whopping $3 million selling his songs as Non-Fungible Tokens (NFTs) and how taxes and a dreadful crypto crash turned his fortune into nothing more than a puff of smoke! 🎤💸

Now, let’s get to the juicy bits. Mann, excited by his newfound digital riches, sold 3,700 of his magical songs for $800 each, all in Ether (ETH). In one fateful swoop, he became $3 million richer. Or so he thought… 🤑

The Taxman Cometh… and He Was Hungry

Then came the part of the story no one ever talks about—the IRS. 🕵️‍♂️ As Mann blissfully skipped through life, living his crypto dream, the taxman knocked on his door with a big, grumpy frown. He explained that Mann’s sweet $3 million wasn’t a gift from the crypto gods. Oh no! It was taxable income, regardless of whether or not the price of ETH plummeted like a brick dropped from a skyscraper. 😱

Imagine the horror when Mann realized that even though the value of ETH took a nosedive, his tax bill remained the same! It was like getting slapped with a bill for a five-star meal when all you had was a stale cracker. Ouch! 💔

But wait, it gets better—or worse, depending on how you see it. The couple, not knowing much about crypto taxes (who does?), decided to hold on to their precious ETH, hoping it would get even more precious. Alas, the market crashed spectacularly, and ETH prices plunged. Naturally, they panicked. They didn’t have a plan. Who does when you’re swimming in digital coinage, right? 🏊‍♂️

To make matters even stickier than a caramel fudge cake, Mann took out a loan using his ETH as collateral. That’s when the crypto rug got pulled right from under him. The Terra collapse triggered a wave of market mayhem, and 300 ETH vanished into thin air. “A lifetime of work erased in a moment,” he bemoaned, in what I imagine was a dramatic, over-the-top theatrical performance. 😭

Enter the Hero: A Rare NFT

Just when it seemed like all was lost, Mann had a brilliant idea—he’d sell a rare Autoglyph NFT. This NFT was like a golden ticket from the early days of crypto, something that might save his behind from the IRS guillotine. 🏅

Now, you’d think he’d just sell it like a normal person, right? Nope! He tried to offload it through X (formerly Twitter), but the reaction was about as warm as a frozen pizza. Then, he found a broker with a buyer willing to pay $1.1 million for the NFT. The deal was struck. Phew! At least he could pay the IRS without having to sell his wife’s retirement account—or his house. 🏠💸

Oh, and get this: because of his prior crypto mishaps, Mann didn’t owe any capital gains tax on the Autoglyph sale. It was like a gift from the tax gods—minus the bitterness of having lost nearly all his original fortune. 🎁

But don’t worry about our friend Mann. He’s still churning out songs like a mad scientist and selling them as NFTs, hoping that one day, just one glorious day, he’ll make another $3 million and actually keep it! 🎶✨

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2025-06-07 14:17