The Scoop (or the Soup?):
- In a stroke of genius, the illustrious CEO of Strive Asset Management penned an epistle to the master of GameStop’s fiefdom, Ryan Cohen, urging him to toss their treasures into the volatile abyss known as bitcoin.
- Lo and behold! GameStop hoists nearly $5 billion in glittering cash upon its balance sheet, but fear not, for it’s just sitting there like a cat on a sunny windowsill.
- Cole, in his ostentatious letter, claims bitcoin is the new “hurdle rate.” One wonders, is it a hurdle or a trampoline? 🤡
Ah, dear Matt Cole, CEO of Strive Asset Management—an investment sorcery conjured by Vivek Ramaswamy—has gallantly invited GameStop to embrace the bitcoin as their golden goose of reserve assets.
On this fateful day of February 24, Cole dispatched his letter to Ryan Cohen, the lord and master of GameStop (GME), proclaiming that GameStop stands at the precipice of greatness with its impressive stash of nearly $5 billion. What are they waiting for, a marching band?
“We believe GameStop has an incredible opportunity to transform its financial future by becoming the premier bitcoin treasury company in the gaming sector,” he exclaimed. Beautiful words, like a symphony of cash raining down.
//cdn.sanity.io/images/s3y3vcno/production/17213687784669c8ef9eaecea5cf34d424d375e0-620×810.png”/>
In two whirlwind years, GameStop has trimmed its operating losses as if preparing for a beauty pageant and offset these deficits through the magical interest income from cash: do they have a crystal ball?
Cole, wearing his philosopher’s hat, ponders that bitcoin is the holy grail—the new “hurdle rate” for capital deployment, no less! While cash languishes as a negative real return—such ungratefulness—bitcoin dazzles as an inflation shield. A riddle wrapped in a mystery, served with a side of market whims!
Meanwhile, Cole advises GameStop to avoid the wild circus of other cryptocurrencies and instead focus its energies on bitcoin, all while seeking ways to wave cash offerings like a magician pulls rabbits out of hats.
His letter echoes sentiments expressed by swarms of other companies, including the likes of MicroStrategy and MARA Holdings, who, after indulging in a bitcoin feast, have clattered down the crypto lane with joy—only to raise capital like a phoenix from the ashes.
With a flourish, the letter concludes, praising GameStop for closing down the unprofitable empires and giving the societal norms of diversity, equity, and inclusion a hearty chuckle. “Bravo!” says Cole—it’s a pity following the herd does not produce more of those delicious profits!
“We applaud the leadership your firm has already taken to close many unprofitable stores and publicly reject DEI,” he said, an ironic jest as chuckles fill the air. A fine way to proceed, indeed!
Read More
- INJ PREDICTION. INJ cryptocurrency
- SPELL PREDICTION. SPELL cryptocurrency
- How To Travel Between Maps In Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- LDO PREDICTION. LDO cryptocurrency
- The Hilarious Truth Behind FIFA’s ‘Fake’ Pack Luck: Zwe’s Epic Journey
- How to Craft Reforged Radzig Kobyla’s Sword in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- How to find the Medicine Book and cure Thomas in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- Destiny 2: Countdown to Episode Heresy’s End & Community Reactions
- Deep Rock Galactic: Painful Missions That Will Test Your Skills
- When will Sonic the Hedgehog 3 be on Paramount Plus?
2025-02-25 19:17