Fed’s Data Dilemma: ADP Ghosts Them Over a Privacy Slap on the Wrist 🤝💸

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ADP abruptly cuts off Fed’s data stream after Waller accidentally revealed they were sharing secrets. Or was it?

 

In a move that could be described as either corporate chivalry or a particularly well-timed middle finger, Automatic Data Processing (ADP)-the nation’s premier payroll whisperer-has decided to withhold its weekly payroll data from the Federal Reserve. Why? Because apparently, even the Fed can’t handle the truth… or at least, a slightly awkward truth.

The Fed, which had been using ADP’s data like a cosmic GPS to navigate the turbulent seas of the U.S. job market, is now left fumbling in the dark. This comes at a time when the government shutdown has already made the Fed’s data dashboard look like a modern art masterpiece of missing pieces. 🎨

Fed’s Secret Weapon: Weekly Payroll Data (Now Gone)

ADP’s dataset, which covered roughly 20% of the U.S. workforce (or about 33 million people, if you’re counting), was the Fed’s version of a crystal ball. It let them track employment trends with the precision of a caffeinated squirrel in a spreadsheet. Now, they’re down to monthly reports-like switching from a high-speed train to a horse-drawn carriage. 🐴

ADP stops sharing payroll data with Fed.

Automatic Data Processing (ADP), the nation’s largest private payroll processor. ADP has halted sharing its proprietary weekly payroll employment data with the Fed a dataset covering approximately 20% of the U.S. private workforce and…

– MartyParty (@martypartymusic)

The Fed had been using this data internally, presumably while sipping lukewarm coffee and staring at graphs that looked suspiciously like Rorschach tests. According to Fed Governor Christopher Waller, this partnership helped build a “measure of weekly payroll employment.” Unbeknownst to him, this public disclosure would trigger ADP’s emergency privacy protocol: “Hey, we’re not a data buffet. Thanks, but no thanks.”

ADP: We’re Done Sharing Unless You Ask Nicer

ADP’s response to Waller’s speech was swift and unapologetic. They’ve cited “privacy concerns” and “competitive reasons,” which sounds like a corporate version of “We’re not angry, we’re just… very disappointed.” ADP hasn’t said much else, but their silence speaks volumes: “You talk, we walk. Literally.”

FED LOST ACCESS TO PRIVATE JOBS DATA AHEAD OF GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

Federal Reserve officials, already cut off from U.S. economic stats due to the government shutdown, no longer receive employment data from ADP. The dataset, covering 20% of private workers and usually available…

– *Walter Bloomberg (@DeItaone)

While ADP still publishes its monthly National Employment Report (a collaboration with Stanford’s Digital Economy Lab, because why not throw in some academic prestige?), it’s now a shadow of its former self. The weekly data, once as essential as oxygen for economists, is gone. The Fed is now left with a report that’s “public-facing” but about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Fed’s Desperate Plea: “Please Send the Data Back”

Fed Chair Jerome Powell, who’s had a lot on his plate lately (quantum economics, existential dread, etc.), has reportedly called ADP to ask for the data back. Imagine that: the man responsible for the global economy is now playing corporate therapist. “Look, I didn’t mean to out you on a stage. Can we… just… hug it out?”

There’s no sign of a resolution, and the Fed’s data vacuum is now a full-blown black hole. Meanwhile, the government shutdown continues to hand out participation trophies to everyone involved. 🏆

The final word? ADP’s decision is a reminder: even in the age of big data, privacy is still a thing. Or maybe it’s just a corporate power move. Either way, the Fed’s got a lot of explaining to do. And a few less data points to work with. Which is probably for the best. 🤷♂️

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2025-10-23 20:15