Ethereum: What is going on!? 🙄

Okay, so Ethereum. It went up a little, from $3,700. A little. Like, barely noticeable. I mean, who are we kidding? $3,700! It’s like, a completely arbitrary number, right? And now it’s aiming for $3,850 and $3,920. Like it’s a goal. It’s crypto, not the Olympics! 🤷

• It went up past $3,750. Big whoop.
• But then it stopped. Because, of course it did.
• There’s a… a line at $3,850. A “bearish trend line.” It’s like the universe is actively preventing progress.
• If it gets past $3,920, maybe – maybe – it’ll go up more. But don’t hold your breath.

This Ethereum Thing…

So, it bumped up a bit, you know, after being around $3,700. Like Bitcoin… copying Bitcoin. Original, very original. Got above $3,750, then $3,800. A whole fifty dollars! I’m practically rich! No, I’m not. It hit 23.6% of something… Fibonacci retracement? What even is that? It’s just numbers people making things up.

But the “bears” – these shadowy figures actively trying to make my theoretical crypto profits disappear – they stepped in at $3,840. Of course they did. They always do. It’s below $3,850, also below some ‘Simple Moving Average.’ Simple for who?!

And now, ANOTHER line at $3,850. Seriously? Are we drawing lines on a chart now? This is what we’ve come to? It’s just… frustrating. The next line is at $3,920. This is absurd!

If it gets over $3,950, it might go to $4,020. Might. The suspense is killing me. And if that happens, maybe $4,120 or even $4,150. Yeah, okay. Sure. Wake me up when it actually gets there. I’ll be taking a nap.

What if it goes DOWN? 😫

But, and this is a big ‘but’ – a huge ‘but’ – if it doesn’t get past $3,850, it’s going down. Of course it is. First stop, $3,800. Then $3,740. Then, oh, joy, $3,700 again. And then… $3,650. It’s a slippery slope, I tell you! A slippery slope.

There’s a “Major Support Level” at $3,740 and a “Major Resistance Level” at $3,850. Makes total sense.

Technical Indicators… (Ugh, technical indicators).

Whatever. The MACD is losing ‘momentum’ and the RSI is below 50. So, basically, everything is terrible. Just… terrible. I’m starting to think I should’ve just bought Beanie Babies. They seem more stable.

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2025-10-23 07:24