Eric Trump Joins Metaplanet: Bitcoin’s Newest Knight in Shining Armor 🛡️

In a move that could only be described as either a stroke of genius or a masterclass in absurdity, Metaplanet Inc., the Japanese investment firm with a penchant for digital gold, has appointed Eric Trump to its newly minted Strategic Advisory Board. Yes, that Eric Trump.

Metaplanet, ever the ambitious player in the crypto circus, claims this appointment is part of its grand plan to dominate the Bitcoin universe. Because, of course, nothing screams “crypto innovation” like the scion of a real estate empire known more for gilded towers than blockchain breakthroughs.

Simon Gerovich, Metaplanet’s CEO, waxed poetic in his welcome statement:

“His business expertise and passion for BTC will help drive our mission forward as we continue building one of the world’s leading Bitcoin Treasury Companies.”

One can only imagine the boardroom discussions that led to this decision. “We need someone with a global perspective, a knack for branding, and, ideally, a last name that guarantees headlines.” Enter Eric Trump, whose qualifications include being born into a family that treats controversy like a second breakfast.

Metaplanet’s announcement gushed about Trump’s “extensive experience” in real estate, finance, and brand development. It also highlighted his role in the Trump family’s World Liberty Financial crypto platform, which recently raked in $590 million in its second token sale. Because if there’s one thing the Trumps know, it’s how to monetize a name.

The Strategic Advisory Board, we’re told, will be a who’s who of Bitcoin evangelists and financial disruptors. Trump’s inclusion, the company insists, is a testament to its commitment to “top-tier advisory talent.” One can only hope the other members bring more to the table than a famous surname and a Twitter account.

Meanwhile, Metaplanet remains laser-focused on its Bitcoin hoarding ambitions. The firm aims to amass 10,000 BTC by the end of 2025 and 21,000 by 2026. To fund this digital treasure hunt, it’s been issuing equity, bonds, and, presumably, IOUs scribbled on the back of cocktail napkins. In the first 11 weeks of 2025 alone, it scooped up 1,288 BTC, bringing its total holdings to a cool 3,200.

So, as Metaplanet marches boldly into the future, one can’t help but wonder: is this the dawn of a new era in finance, or just another chapter in the never-ending saga of Trumps making headlines? Either way, it’s bound to be entertaining. 🍿

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2025-03-21 21:05