Emily in Paris Recap: I Like My Men All Incompetent

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Emily and Mindy are out on a double date, and honestly, they’re at their most boring when they’re with disappointing guys. I’m really wishing Princess Jane was there – she always brought the energy! These guys are just bringing the whole thing down.

The whole situation with Marcello and Nico is pretty ridiculous, but here’s what’s happening: Both of them didn’t inherit leadership of their families’ businesses, and now they’ve turned their backs on those families to start their own venture. It’s hard to believe they didn’t think this through! Nico claims to be broke, yet he’s somehow funding Marcello’s new fashion line. And Marcello, who doesn’t seem to have any fashion experience himself, is launching a brand. Mindy and Emily are enthusiastically supporting this risky plan. Now, they need a designer, which is strange considering they abandoned their secure positions with their families without even having a business plan or a designer lined up. Why didn’t they get a designer in place before cutting ties with everyone?

It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that Emily is working towards her goal of opening her own business and was sent back to Paris to strengthen existing client connections and secure new ones. Also, Mindy is building her own career as a rising star in entertainment. It’s frustrating to see these ambitious women putting their own dreams on hold to support boyfriends who don’t seem to have their best interests at heart – it just doesn’t make sense!

Everything feels off, but Mindy’s outfit is particularly distracting – today she’s wearing a very revealing mesh top with sequins. And Emily was so focused on writing about her relationship that she completely forgot to put on pants! While I appreciate bold fashion choices, it’s hard to believe the usually conservative Emily would ever leave the house in just underwear, fishnets, and no pants. This continues to be a problem with the show’s consistency – characters just aren’t behaving like themselves!

Okay, as someone who loves watching how people present themselves, I have to say, the contrast between the girls’ outfits – they’re often wild, but they commit – and their boyfriends’… well, it’s just baffling. Seriously, not a single interesting thing on any of the guys! And it’s especially weird because these guys are supposed to be in the fashion world. You’d think the sons of JVMA and Muratori would have some kind of personal style, or, honestly, any style at all? It’s just… striking.

Okay, I’m heading to a party where I’m hoping to meet Noah, a designer who recently lost his job at a major fashion house. They replaced him with someone who doesn’t actually design, so he’s looking for new opportunities. His agent, Ramona, is a no-nonsense woman with bright pink hair. She’s been telling everyone that Nico and Marcello are the hottest names in fashion right now. Mindy is desperate to be known as Nico’s girlfriend, and honestly, I still think it’s annoying how these women define themselves through their boyfriends. Plus, I’m wondering what the point was of giving her a little bit of fame if it wasn’t going to change anything about her life in Paris? It would be way more interesting if she were actually becoming well-known!

Ramona had literally just mentioned reading about them in fashion magazines, but Nico immediately announced they were launching their own clothing line. It was obvious she already knew! She described the two men as intimidating – no one wanted to risk upsetting JVMA and Muratori by supporting them. It was a mistake they should have thought through before leaving their family business. Ramona wouldn’t introduce them to Noah, so Emily cleverly used a cheeseburger slider to get Chauncey the dog to lick her, hoping to make a good impression. Noah, who at least dressed the part, was won over by the woman who charmed his dog and decided to trust her judgment over Ramona’s advice. It’s clear this is a group of incredibly bright people all working together flawlessly.

Each episode seems to need at least one really awkward metaphor, and this time it’s Mindy comparing men to bread on a charcuterie board – apparently because they look good after a casual fling. It’s a strange comparison, especially since Mindy and Emily have only been back with their boyfriends for about a week. They then decide to practically move in with their partners whenever they’re around, without even bothering to ask if that’s okay with the guys – Nico wasn’t even present when the decision was made!

While we were eating breakfast, Marcello described his design ideas to Noah. He said he was aiming for a style similar to Ralph Lauren, but with an Italian twist. He was surprisingly secretive about where the sketches came from. I initially suspected he’d taken them from his mother, but it turned out he’d actually created them himself – he just didn’t want to admit he had a knack for design. I found that hard to believe!

Emily really pushed Sylvie to meet with Nico and Marcello, which felt…off. I mean, doesn’t Grateau have their own legal counsel? We’re trying to keep things moving, but this whole situation feels rushed and a bit unprofessional, honestly. It’s just not what Sylvie deserves, though I know she’s preoccupied with her new boyfriend. And then there’s Alfie – he’s decided to become a consultant on the side, so he’s in the meeting too. I don’t get why he’d want to associate with Mindy’s boyfriend, or why a CFO would think this is a good idea, but honestly, at this point, what does it even matter? Sylvie seemed to be convinced by the sketches alone, which is…concerning. If I were in charge, I’d want to see a solid business plan, not just a few nice drawings. And does Alfie not even care where the funding is coming from?

Everyone went out to celebrate that night, and Emily looked amazing! I was so happy for Mindy – she was really enjoying being with Alfie and seemed like a true power couple. Honestly, I wanted to tell her to slow down, but that drama was already dealt with. Then, things got weird. For some reason, everyone except Mindy and Alfie had to suddenly leave to take a phone call with Noah. A tango started playing, which reminded Alfie and Mindy of their time on Ballando Ballando Ballando. Alfie admitted he still has feelings for her and warned her that Nico is trouble. Even though Nico always caused problems when they were together before, Mindy was shocked and stormed off – it was a bit much, honestly!

Sylvie’s casual relationship has quickly become more intimate, involving sleepovers and explicit messages. Her new partner constantly praises her attractiveness, and she feels it’s justified. However, things take a disastrous turn when Sylvie attends Yvette’s anniversary party and discovers she’s been having an affair with Yvette’s son – made even more shocking by the revealing photo Yvette’s son shared, taken in a bathroom with recognizable wallpaper. Mortified, Sylvie immediately leaves the party and likely cuts ties with Yvette completely. Beyond the predictable nature of the reveal, the story also includes an odd detail about Sylvie’s outfit: her sleeves are adorned with large, feathery embellishments that seem out of place.

Okay, back to the story: Emily arranges a press luncheon through Agence Grateau to promote Marcello’s new clothing line – though it’s confusing because he doesn’t even have a collection yet! First, though, she gives him a key to her apartment. Honestly, her role in this episode is just being a sickeningly supportive girlfriend, which is incredibly dull and doesn’t suit her at all. The clothing line is simply called “Marcello Muratori,” and you’d be right to wonder if the Muratori family will be pleased about another fashion brand using their name. Turns out, they aren’t! Marcello gets hit with a trademark infringement lawsuit… from his own mother, which is pretty funny. Noah, realizing things are about to get messy, wisely decides to skip the whole event. It’s baffling that no one considered this possibility! It’s hard to feel bad for anyone when they’re all acting so unprofessional!

That evening, Marcello – it seems he’s living with Emily now – was having a loud argument in Italian with his sister because his mother was refusing to talk to him. He’s determined to pursue his own creative projects, but honestly, he sounded like a spoiled child. Emily then mentioned that whoever created the sketches should be the designer, and we learned that Marcello was the artist. Essentially, Emily is now supporting him financially and making coffee while he focuses on his art. It’s ironic, considering L’Oréal thought Sylvie’s initial commercial idea didn’t empower women enough.

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2025-12-19 23:59