Devil’s Launchpad: Pi Pioneers Squirm as Token Plummets to Hell

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Judging by the latest proclamation from the Core Team-those mysterious architects of the grand, controversial project-the Pi Launchpad testing period has taken a turn worthy of a satirical novella. They have unveiled a brand-new test token, SLICE, as if a fresh bauble could distract the masses from the creeping rot.

Meanwhile, the troubles of the underlying asset have thickened like a Moscow fog. The price hovers near $0.13, ready to break below once more, and one can almost hear the infernal laughter of the market’s invisible puppeteer.

As reported by the soothsayers at CryptoPotato, the team has revised the participation model for the Pi launchpad, flinging open the gates for all Pioneers to test this second token, SLICE. Those eager to grasp this opportunity must open the Pi Browser, review the new test token and project, choose a commitment amount in Test-Pi, confirm their participation, engage with the Slice of Pi App, and then-oh, the humanity!-provide feedback. The ordeal will persist for ten more days, until Pi2Day (June 28), as if a date on the calendar could sanctify such farce.

The update claims that the first token provided “useful data and highlighted areas where the Launchpad experience needed improvement”-and so, with a flourish, the team credits the Pioneers for their help. The participation flow has become “simpler and clearer,” they say, now “centered around the commitment amount, which has a direct effect on token acquisition.” Users may choose how much Test-Pi to commit, and the Launchpad automatically calculates the related ‘fair-access hold.’ Then the Pioneer is shown the commitment amount, hold amount, and total before confirmation-a bureaucratic ballet of empty promises.

“The goal is to make it easier to understand and use the Pi Launchpad, and preserve the intended fair-access effect of the hold,” the team intoned, with the solemnity of a devil reciting scripture.

As for the non-testing token-the actual currency of this digital realm-its failures have been a veritable feast for the cynical. On June 6, its price tumbled below $0.12, a new all-time low, plunging 96% from its zenith in February 2025-a fall from grace that would make Lucifer himself blush. The recovery was swift at first, pushing toward $0.14 as the broader market sighed with relief. But then the FOMC meeting and its ensuing press conference arrived like a plague, with BTC sliding below $64,000 and all manner of altcoins, including our dear PI, dragged into the abyss.

Now, PI has dropped toward $0.13, down over 3% in a day. It skulks outside the top 50 alts by market cap, its own cap at $1.420 billion-a tidy sum for a ghost. So the Pioneers continue to support the ecosystem, fumbling with test tokens and commitment amounts, while the real currency coughs and sputters like a dying engine. How wonderfully absurd.

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2026-06-18 12:10