Dan Stevens Is Our Finest Weird (Usually) British Man

As a lover of all things cinematic and a Brit who has spent far too many hours in movie theaters (and bars) across the pond, I must say that Tom Stevens is truly a revelation on the silver screen! His versatility as an actor never ceases to amaze me.

In a refined transatlantic tone reminiscent of a lesser aristocrat and eyes as sharp as those of a long-haired dachshund, Dan Stevens might have comfortably navigated his acting career, much like many other London lads, portraying effeminate love interests or cunning villains who reveal their true selves in the final act. Such a path would not have been questioned – it was almost predestined when he landed the role of the charming fish-out-water Matthew Crawley in the period drama “Downton Abbey”. However, by 2012, Hollywood’s siren call became too strong for him to resist, and sadly, Matthew met an untimely end in Downton’s holiday special, causing a global uproar among fans.

Instead of being satisfied with taking the roles Tom Hiddleston declined because of his Marvel contract, Stevens, who used his free time on the Downton Abbey set to read books for his role as a judge for the Man Booker Prize, had different plans. Over the past 12 years since his television debut in Britain, his career has been marked by an unusual blend of genres, paces, and mediums, allowing him to seamlessly transition from portraying a charming yet violent soldier to a womanizing character in an Adam Sandler movie about a magical cobbler, all while building a substantial audiobook empire.

Similar to the timeless character actors of the past, his allure stems not only from his skill at becoming one with a role but also from his remarkable humility that accompanies this talent. There’s an exhilarating, quirky energy he brings to each role, a peculiar strangeness that he adds to every character, much like the delicate dusting of powdered sugar on a Victoria sponge cake. As he garners three more captivating performances as a Quirky British Character in ‘Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire’, ‘Abigail’, and ‘Cuckoo’ within just six months, it’s an opportune moment to reflect.

The Guest (2014)

Before dealing with supernatural sexually transmitted diseases or Nicolas Cage in a wig from Party City, Maika Monroe faced trouble due to an unexpected guest. In Adam Wingard’s second thriller, Dan Stevens plays a charming and polite war veteran who appears like a stray dog at the doorstep of a family whose colleague has passed away. Assuming him to be a struggling patriot, the parents welcome him in, but then chaos ensues. Although the plot may not make perfect sense, Steve Moore added an intense synth score, and the third act resembles a John Carpenter horror film, with Stevens delivering an outstanding performance as a cold-blooded psychopath.

Unusual Score: 7 out of 10 — There’s something about him that screams danger from the moment he casually breaks a teen’s nose… yet, oh my, what an amazing physique! Despite your reservations, he’s undeniably attractive.

British Rating: -1/10 — Rock, flag and eagle!

Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Timeless story: A man grappling with his romantic predicament convinces a young lady to help resolve it. Treading awkwardly on stilts and muttering discontentedly through the eerie landscape of Disney’s collection of extravagant “live-action” adaptations, it’s disappointing that the realism in this case turns Beast into a discarded hockey mascot wearing a frock coat. Stevens was responsible for the motion capture of Beast, and this backstage photo might be the only redeeming aspect of the entire movie. The effect is not charmingly strange, but rather strangely unappealing – a sobering realization that Disney’s focus in filmmaking has become limited to this type of production.

In My Opinion: He may be a furry, but what’s truly peculiar is his act of kidnapping a woman. It seems more appropriate for Belle to have a library for learning rather than needing deprogramming.

In the French setting, the movie “Beast” seems to exhibit an excessive amount of stereotypical upper-class British male conduct.

Legion (2017-19)

Although we can’t delve deeply into the intricate backstory and peculiar aspects of Noah Hawley’s Marvel series featuring Charles Xavier’s son, who happens to be a reality-shifter (for more details, you might find devoted fans more than happy to discuss), it’s worth mentioning that Legion significantly boosted Daniel Stevens’ reputation as the Sovereign of the Quirky British Actors – despite his American role. Diagnosed as schizophrenic yet revealed to be the most potent mutant in existence, this isn’t particularly bizarre within superhero realms, but what sets Legion apart from the Marvel Cinematic Universe is its abundance of synchronized dances and emotionally charged musical sequences. Daniel Stevens skillfully portrays a character oscillating between childlike innocence and chilling manipulation, showcasing the versatility that has proved invaluable in his subsequent roles.

Unusual Score: 10/10 – This creation is more imaginative, intriguing, and occasionally unsettling compared to many productions from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s a pity it likely doesn’t align with their established continuity!

American Audience Finds Out About Stevens’ British Origins: Many Americans who are not familiar with Stevens initially overlooked his British identity due to his impressive technical work. However, during some interviews, he effectively imitates Patrick Stewart.

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=LG1N6rHzY-Q

Occasionally, my uninterested-in-movies mom will phone me up to discuss films she’s recently enjoyed. I recall her talking about “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” because she was highly impressed by Rachel McAdams’ singing (I didn’t have the courage to tell her it was dubbed) and found “the man from Downton” hilarious. In the movie, as Russia’s flamboyant, closeted Eurovision entrant Alexander Lemtov, Stevens defies expectations, transforming from a potential queer-coded antagonist into a charming ally to Will Ferrell and McAdams’ Fire Saga. He’s an adorable character with a voice like an angel, though an angel bedecked in sequins.

Having grown up in a small, quiet town in the Midwest, I must admit that the first time I watched Eurovision was quite a shock to my system. The colorful costumes, elaborate sets, and the sheer exuberance of the performers seemed so foreign to me. But after spending some time delving into the world of Eurovision, I’ve come to realize that this unique spectacle is just a reflection of the diverse and vibrant culture found across Europe. The quirky acts and high ratings are part of what makes it such a beloved tradition, and I can now appreciate its charm.

British Rating: 0/10 — The Russian accent work here is sublime. But it’s not British.

The Rental (2020)

2020 was quite eventful, so Dave Franco’s directorial debut might have slipped your notice, but it’s definitely worth checking out if you enjoy exclaiming “Oh my goodness, you’re all terrible people!” while watching. The story revolves around Charlie, a nice-guy tech mogul played by Stevens, who goes on a weekend retreat to a cabin with his wife, brother, and business partner, along with his brother’s girlfriend. However, the peaceful getaway is disrupted by both relationship turmoil and a real serial killer, making hot-tub relaxation impossible. Interestingly, the film isn’t intended to be about sympathizing with a murderous peeping tom, but that’s part of the charm of artistic expression!

Strangeness Scale: 2 out of 10 — Something peculiar about Stevens’s actions stands out: he spontaneously books an online rental without any prior reviews. It seems as though he was intentionally seeking danger, or perhaps even a fatal encounter?

British Rating: 0/10 — Playing generic American fuckboy with ease.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020–21)

Hey there fellow movie enthusiast! Ever witnessed a charismatic monkey tickling the ivories? If you’ve given an affirmative nod, then you either have a soft spot for “Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts,” or you’re harboring some top-secret knowledge that might catch the WWF off guard. This underrated, delightful Dreamworks animated series set in a post-apocalyptic world where animals reign supreme features Stevens (a seasoned voice actor) as Scarlemagne, an extravagant mandrill with a penchant for classical music, mind control, rococo attire, and schemes to dominate the remnants of humankind. He’s wicked, he’s fashionable, and that’s what makes him a truly captivating villain.

In a world where mutated animal hybrids are the norm, Scarlemagne stands out as excessively eccentric.

There’s no need to ponder over why Scarlemagne speaks with a British accent; it’s logical in its own way.

I’m Your Man (2021)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=YI60hh-YGKo

In recent times, with AI chatbots like ChatGPT becoming more prevalent and celebrities such as MrBeast selling their likenesses for AI chatbots, the idea of a robot boyfriend, even one that’s attractive, might not seem so strange anymore – especially compared to a decade or two ago. However, Maria Schrader’s unique romantic comedy portrays a scientist who becomes entangled in a testing program for an endearing, ever-watchful humanoid robot named Tom. Played by Stevens, who speaks fluent German, Tom’s unsettling blue eyes and striking good looks are used effectively to create a compelling character. The actor effortlessly conveys the struggle of an android striving to be the ideal man in a way that is both alarming and convincing.

Strangeness Score: 9 out of 10 – When Silicon Valley manages to design robots that resemble Dan Stevens, it will be the end of the line for such creations.

The British Evaluation: 3 out of 10 – This movie is a German production featuring the actor portraying a German robotic character who communicates in German. However, many British males exhibit an unusual and uncomfortable style when it comes to romance, a theme that mirrors the film’s tone.

The Boy and the Heron (2023)

The chatter around the American dub for Hayao Miyazaki’s soaring, sublime fantasy epic mainly revolved around the casting of two other great Weird Men, Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe, who voice the titular Heron and “Noble Pelican.” But don’t sleep on Stevens, who plays a literal man-eating parakeet, proving there are no small parts as he brings laudable gravitas to the hungry bird. Stevens loves Studio Ghibli — he voiced a talking cat in the English dub of Earwig and the Witch — and he didn’t mind taking a tiny part in The Boy and the Heron, because it meant he got to see the film early. A 4-D chess move.

Ever since I started watching Studio Ghibli films, I’ve become accustomed to a certain level of whimsy and magic in my animation. But after seeing those parakeets in my neighborhood, I can’t help but feel like they’ve added an extra sprinkle of enchantment to my everyday life. It’s not that they’re incredibly strange or out-of-this-world, but there’s something about their vibrant colors and playful behavior that makes me see them in a whole new light. Now, when I take a walk through the park, I can’t help but feel like I’ve stepped into one of Miyazaki’s fantastical worlds. It’s a small thing, but it brings a little bit of joy and wonder to my everyday routine, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.

User Review: 9/10 – Individuals who have encountered the ferocious wild parrots in London may find an eerie sense of familiarity stirred within them.

“The Outside,” Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities (2023)

Hi there, are you feeling self-conscious about your unique appearance? Well, worry no more because we’ve got the perfect solution for you! Introducing Alo Glo, a revolutionary skincare product that promises to transform not just your skin, but also your mind and spirit. (Note: Results may include total skin shedding.) Showcased on your TV screens by the charismatic Alo Glo Man, dressed in his shiny white suit and boasting an impeccable coif, it’s the magic wand to all your social awkwardness! Stacey, our socially anxious character played by Kate Micucci, finds solace in this product after her beloved taxidermied duck is mercilessly mocked at work. Convinced and excited, she ignores her colleagues’ remarks and gives Alo Glo a try. “It hurts when it works,” the reassuring voice of Alo Glo Man echoes as Stacey experiences a painful rash breakout. And things only get tougher from there.

Weird Rating: 5/10 — He’s not the weirdest part of the episode, but Stevens does look just like Uncle Baby Billy from The Righteous Gemstones.

From a Personal Perspective of a Movie Buff: If Dan Stevens spoke to me from my screen, I might find myself making decisions that leave me scratching my head later on.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Title Character: The Quirky Cryptozoologist Trapper

As a devoted spectator, I’d rate this movie an 8 out of 10 for its bizarre yet captivating elements. To put it into perspective, Trapper might seem odd, but nothing quite prepares you for the opening scene where Kong tearingly splits a giant warthog in two with his raw strength. So, in the grand scheme of things, the film’s quirkiness is somewhat balanced by such jaw-dropping moments!

British Rating: 10/10 — Crikey! Blimey! Bloody hell!

Abigail (2024)

Back in the early part of this year, I stumbled upon a movie that seemed to appear out of thin air, generating an unexpected buzz over its delightful gore and Stevens’s captivating portrayal as a morally ambiguous Brooklyn cop with a penchant for cool eyewear and a questionable attitude. To say the least, this is the most reprehensible role he’s ever played – growling, giggling, and bullying a child without a second thought, all before discovering she’s an ancient vampire. Nevertheless, Stevens manages to steal the spotlight with his riveting performance, devouring the scenery just as voraciously as that little girl does her victims’ necks.

Weird Rating: 9/10 — Stevens plays it as Lestat by way of Bad Lieutenant. Perfect. No notes.

In terms of culture, reminiscent of a dishonest Brooklyn police officer; spiritually, mirroring a cunning British villain; consistently maintaining this character throughout.

Cuckoo (2024)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=watch?v=jNlqPDK6NUo

As a seasoned traveler and adventure seeker, I can certainly empathize with Gretchen’s predicament when she finds herself surrounded by peculiar characters in the Alps. The quirks of Herr König, the flute-playing German bird enthusiast who owns the local ski lodge, are not exactly what one expects when moving to a new place. His cryptic remarks and unnerving demeanor make me wonder if there’s more to him than meets the eye.

In my personal experience, I can say that living in Germany for a year was quite unusual, yet I felt surprisingly safe. During my stay there, I didn’t encounter any dangerous or threatening situations, which was a refreshing change from some of the places I’ve lived before. The people were friendly and welcoming, making me feel at home in their country.

British Rating: 1/10 — As German as Dampfnudeln.

2024-08-13 19:55