Crypto’s Drama Queen Era Is Over? Pantera Capital Thinks Bitcoin Has Stopped Pouting

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My dear reader, if tempestuous markets are the stage, then surely crypto is our greatest tragedian—always ready to deliver another act of high drama, and inevitably, a touch of comedy. According to Cosmo Jiang, a partner at Pantera Capital (and, one hopes, no relation to the cosmic void currently present in my wallet), the curtain may have fallen on crypto’s most theatrical selling episode, that hallmark performance in which Bitcoin flung itself off its all-time-high like a Victorian debutante fainting at the mere mention of tariffs.

The general sentiment in the financial parlour is something on par with a ghost story told by candlelight: “Macroeconomic phantoms are at the wheel,” says Jiang, “steering us through uncertainties so dense even my tea leaves refused to reveal the ending.” The market, he notes, has not exactly been the belle of optimism’s ball. Though by the look of these ‘historically-low sentiment indicators,’ one would think even Eeyore was managing the books.

Still, our protagonist has a glimmer of hope! For in the contest of assets, digital currencies have taken to flexing their muscles with all the subtlety of a dandy at a garden party. Equities sulk in the corner, the dollar broods by the punch bowl—meanwhile, Solana and Bitcoin are already gossiping about their future rebounds.

Are investors missing the vibrant blooms of positivity—a friendlier US regulatory landscape, and the advent of the much-lauded Strategic Bitcoin Reserve—simply because they can’t see them over the wall of their own skepticism? It would seem so. According to Jiang: “Crypto endures a quarter so dire one imagines it composed sonnets about its suffering. Yet beneath all this melodrama lies a garden of pleasant headlines just waiting for someone, anyone, to notice. The market, alas, is too busy cowering under the table.”

The worst may be behind us, crypto may rise anew (or at least throw an adequately glamorous party on the way down), and if you hear the faint sound of coins clinking, it might just be optimism calling for one more round. 🕺💰🍸

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2025-05-02 17:46