Crypto Stocks: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (But Mostly Ugly) 😂

by

Well, folks, it’s that time again! Crypto US stocks are doing their best impression of a rollercoaster today, with Core Scientific (CORZ), MicroStrategy (MSTR), and Coinbase (COIN) stealing the spotlight. 🎢

So, CORZ is down -0.84% in the pre-market, which is like being the last kid picked for dodgeball. Meanwhile, MSTR is flexing its muscles after a fresh $285 million Bitcoin purchase, pushing its 5-day gains to a whopping 16%. And COIN? It’s up +0.88% pre-market, trying to shake off a year that’s been rougher than a cat in a bathtub. 🐱🛁

Core Scientific (CORZ)

Ah, Core Scientific (CORZ), the underdog of the crypto world. Down -0.84% in pre-market trading, it’s like that friend who always shows up late to the party. Despite the crypto crowd looking lively, CORZ is still struggling to find a date. 😬

This company runs one of the largest Bitcoin mining operations in North America. Think of it as the Costco of Bitcoin mining—lots of space, but not enough customers. 🏬

With a nearly 50% drop year-to-date, CORZ is like the kid who forgot their lunch—just not doing well compared to its peers like Marathon Digital (MARA) and Coinbase (COIN). While others are diversifying and thriving, Core Scientific is still trying to figure out how to mine Bitcoin without losing its shirt. 💸

MicroStrategy (MSTR)

Now, let’s talk about MicroStrategy (MSTR), which closed yesterday up 3.82%. That’s right, folks, it’s the overachiever of the group with a year-to-date return of 7.54%. MSTR is riding the Bitcoin wave like a pro surfer, with a 16% increase in the last 5 days. 🏄‍♂️

Led by the ever-enthusiastic Michael Saylor, this company is known for its aggressive Bitcoin accumulation strategy. It’s like that friend who keeps buying more and more shoes, but instead of shoes, it’s Bitcoin. 👠💰

Recently, they splurged on an additional $285 million worth of Bitcoin, adding 3,459 BTC to their collection. That brings their total to 531,644 BTC. At this point, they might as well start a Bitcoin museum. 🖼️

Coinbase (COIN)

And finally, we have Coinbase (COIN), trading up +0.88% in the pre-market. It’s like the kid who finally got their homework done just in time for class. 📚

As one of the largest cryptocurrency exchanges in the US, Coinbase offers trading, custody, and staking services. They’re set to report their Q1 2025 earnings on May 8, which could either be a glorious victory or a total disaster. 🎉💥

COIN is up 12% over the last five days, trying to bounce back after a nearly 29% drop year-to-date. It’s like watching a toddler learn to walk—lots of stumbling, but we’re rooting for them! 👶

Read More

2025-04-15 21:36