Crypto Meltdown: Even Dogecoin Can’t Catch a Break 🐕‍🦺💸

by

Buckle up, crypto fanatics, because the past 24 hours have been a rollercoaster—and by that, I mean the cart detached, rolled back downhill, and exploded in flames. Bitcoin, our cocky digital mascot, has skidded down to a lowly $96,000. Yes, the “De Niro of crypto” is really playing Joe Pesci this week.😬

But don’t worry, BTC didn’t pull the whole show down alone. No! The altcoin squad—Ripple, Solana, DOGE, and their clingy clones—are tanking in what I like to call “Altcoin Synchronized Crying Olympics 2025.” Even meme coins, those caffeinated chipmunks of the crypto world, took a nosedive. Double-digit red candles everywhere. Who needs a financial advisor when this market already screams “NO”? 😅

BTC: Big Sad Energy

This month, Bitcoin decided to audition for the part of “most dramatic diva.” One day it’s soaring to nearly $99K like an overachieving intern, and the next, it’s sulking at $95K because—wait for it—the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics decided inflation was a vibe. Thanks, America. As if we needed another excuse to scream into a pillow. 😤

Over the weekend, BTC pretended things were chill, flopping around $97,000. But surprise! Monday blues kicked in, and here we are—$95,800. After a weak “oops sorry” rebound, it’s now trotting along at $96,100. Great job holding the line, champ. 🏆

Bitcoin price chart, the emotional trauma visualized as a squiggly line.

ICYMI, Bitcoin’s market cap is hovering around $1.906 trillion. Not bad! Still slightly richer than Jeff Bezos, so there’s that. Meanwhile, its dominance over altcoins stayed put at around 59.7%. Somebody get this guy a crown—oh wait, it’s made of imaginary internet points. 👑🙃

Altcoins: The Titanic, But With Sass

Oh, altcoins. Always trying to steal the spotlight and ending up as the comic relief. Ripple’s XRP “only” lost 3%, Solana went down 4%, and Litecoin skidded by 5%. But hey, Cardano, Ethereum, and TRON must’ve found a genie because they managed to scrape some (tiny) gains.✨

Meme coins? Oh boy. DOGE—our dog-hearted warrior—is wagging its tail into oblivion. Shiba Inu is sulking in its kennel. And something called Official Trump? Let’s just say it’s flopping harder than a fish out of water. Meanwhile, MEOW and AI16Z lost nearly all their catnip. 🐾💔

To wrap this comedy of errors, the total crypto market cap is roughly $3.19 trillion—a spicy 0.88% drop. No one panic. Well, maybe just a little. Here’s a heatmap if you’re into technicolor misery. 🤷‍♀️🔥

Cryptocurrency market heatmap, also known as a snapshot of sadness.

Read More

2025-02-17 12:47