Crypto Drama! U.S. Treasury Goes After “Cambodian PayPal” Over $4B Money-Laundering Claims 🚨

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If you ever wanted a front-row seat to the crumbling of international financial schemes while sitting on your sofa in pajamas, look no further than the Huione Group—Cambodia’s answer to the question, “How many ways can you stay out of jail while still moving a Titanic-sized pile of dirty cryptocurrency?”

On May 1st—a day otherwise known as “I forgot to pay my rent again”—the U.S. Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN) flexed what I assume is a very wrinkly muscle and announced that Huione Group could soon be stranded from the U.S. financial system. And by “stranded,” I mean they won’t even get so much as a Chase debit card, let alone a novelty checkbook.

The proposal? Label Huione a “primary money laundering concern,” which, in the world of financial nicknames, is a bit like being voted “Most Likely to Have Your Assets Frozen and Your Passport Revoked” in your criminal fraternity’s yearbook.

The big move would mean U.S. banks can’t open new doors, new windows, or even a cat flap for Huione. If you were hoping to send them a balloon-o-gram via a Wells Fargo account, sorry. You’ll have to use smoke signals.

Scott Bessent, Treasury Secretary and the man most likely to be described as “having had enough of your nonsense,” announced: “Today’s proposed action will sever Huione Group’s access to correspondent banking, degrading these groups’ ability to launder their ill-gotten gains.” Which, on the scale of official shade, is somewhere between “I unfollowed you on Instagram” and “Your coffee order is now always late.”

Huione hasn’t been banking in the States directly. No, that would be too obvious—think of them as someone who wants into the fancy club, so they sneak a friend through the restroom window. According to FinCEN, Huione wriggles in indirectly via overseas “friends,” throws on a disguise, and then orders bottle service with the money it allegedly washed for some light North Korean hacking syndicates. (Because why launder $10 when you can launder for actual international villains?)

Allegedly—let’s not get sued—they helped move at least $4 billion in funny money and other forms of digital regret from August 2021 to January 2025. A notable portion came from “pig butchering” scams, which, for those not fluent in cybercrime, is not a barbecue but rather a devastating online con where people’s wallets are slow-roasted to perfection.

Huione, never content with just one sketchy operation, created its own Marvel Universe of digital companies: Huione Pay (for when you want to pay, but not have receipts); Huione Crypto (for when your money wants to wear a fake mustache); and the Telegram bazaar, which recently swapped names from the snappy “Criminal Flea Market” to “Haowang Guarantee,” because nothing says “trust us” like lots of vowels.

And what’s a criminal empire without its own coin? Enter “USDH,” pegged to the U.S. dollar but constructed with all the transparency of a magician’s top hat. “Can’t freeze it!” claims Huione—because freezing funds is sooo last season. FinCEN, meanwhile, is doing its best impersonation of someone trying to stop a river with a garden sieve, noting this invites criminals to handle funds “risk-free.” Which, as metaphors go, is up there with labeling the Titanic “unsinkable.”

Just to keep things spicy, Tether once froze $30 million in USDT linked to Huione. In classic whack-a-mole style, Huione immediately launched their very own stablecoin. Because, really, if your old Monopoly money gets confiscated, just print a new edition.

For now, FinCEN has opened a public comment period, so if you have strong feelings about shell companies or just really love filling out government forms, now’s your moment to shine.

Back in July (when the world was slightly less on fire), blockchain forensics nerds at Elliptic fingered Huione as the main hub for Southeast Asian cybercrooks; a regular Craigslist for folks shopping for money mules, scam kits, and—oh yes—human trafficking services, because nothing says “side hustle” like international crime.

The cherry on top? When their app was booted from Google Play for, *checks notes*, being a little too mafia-adjacent, it somehow survived on the Apple App Store. So, if you ever needed one more reason for your iPhone to judge you, there you go. 🍏

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2025-05-02 10:24