Crypto Chaos: Why Your Retirement Fund Should Stay Far, Far Away! 💸🚫

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In a world where digital coins dance like fireflies in the night, New York Attorney General Letitia James has taken it upon herself to pen a letter to the esteemed leaders of Congress. Her message? A clarion call for “common sense” regulations on the wild west of cryptocurrency, lest we allow these digital assets to infiltrate our sacred pensions. 🏦

“I implore Congress to enact legislation that fortifies federal regulations on the cryptocurrency industry,” James declared, her words echoing through the halls of power. “We must protect investors, bolster financial markets, and put an end to the rampant fraud!” This was no mere whisper; it was a 14-page manifesto shared on April 10, detailing six major risks lurking in the shadows of unregulated crypto. 📜

Without the necessary safeguards, she warned, the “unchecked proliferation of digital assets” threatens to undermine the very dominance of the US dollar, weaken national security due to nefarious activities, and destabilize our financial markets. Who knew that a bunch of pixels could cause such chaos? 😱

Unregulated crypto subjects investors to “price manipulation and rigged markets,” she lamented, facilitating fraud that “drains billions of dollars from hardworking Americans.” It’s like a heist movie, but with less action and more spreadsheets! 💻💰

James proposed a series of recommendations, urging Congress to legislate that stablecoin issuers must have a US presence and regulatory oversight. She wants these digital coins to be backed by good old US dollars or treasuries. Because who wouldn’t want their money backed by something tangible, right? 💵

Moreover, she advocates for regulations that ensure platforms only engage with anti-money laundering-compliant entities, establish registration requirements for issuers and intermediaries, and promote price transparency. It’s like asking a fox to guard the henhouse, but with more paperwork! 🦊📋

No crypto assets in pension funds

James also voiced her concerns about the inclusion of crypto in pension funds. “Digital assets are uniquely unsuitable for retirement savings due to their high volatility,” she stated, boldly claiming they possess no real value. Talk about a retirement plan that could go up in smoke! 🔥

“The underlying value of cryptocurrency is unpredictable and not determined by true price discovery because they have no intrinsic value on which their prices are based.”

She further cautioned against retirement funds investing in crypto-tracking exchange-traded funds, noting that “unlike traditional ETFs backed by stocks and bonds, cryptocurrency held to back cryptocurrency ETFs are at risk of permanent theft.” It’s like putting your money in a piñata and hoping for the best! 🎉

“As Congress takes the mantle to propose legislation governing the cryptocurrency industry, we hope it also takes action to mitigate the risks posed by the industry to America’s national security, financial stability, and citizens,” James concluded, her voice a beacon of reason in a sea of digital madness. 🌊

The call for regulation comes on the heels of the US Department of Justice’s reported dismantling of its federal criminal cryptocurrency fraud enforcement division. Because who needs law enforcement when you have a digital currency, right? 🤷‍♂️

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2025-04-11 07:17