Crypto Chaos: Coins Rise, Fall, & the IMF Lurks! 😈

Вот те на! Another day, another crypto circus! The market, like a tipsy tightrope walker, managed a minuscule wobble upwards in the last 24 hours. Prices, you see, decided to be ever so slightly less disagreeable, resulting in a grand total of $2.83 trillion sloshing around. Bitcoin (BTC), that venerable old geezer, briefly touched the heavens at $88,635 before remembering its earthly duties and settling back around $86,500. Alas, it’s ever so slightly down, a mere trifle, really. Ethereum (ETH), meanwhile, dreams of conquering $2,100, like a peasant dreaming of Tsar’s throne. It strained and puffed, reaching a magnificent $2,099, only to tumble back to a rather less impressive $2,045. A tragedy! 🎭

Solana (SOL), bless its heart, managed a minor victory, a mere speck of an increase, now prancing about $138. Not exactly revolutionary, wouldn’t you agree?

The markets, alas, have entered a state of profound boredom. Ripple (XRP) is sulking, down a smidgen over 1%, while that rascal Dogecoin (DOGE) is cavorting, up over 4% at $0.182. Cardano (ADA) is attempting to appear dignified with a 0.50% increase, while Chainlink (LINK) valiantly attempts to breach $15. Stellar (XLM), Hedera (HBAR), and Avalanche (AVAX) are also enjoying the faintest glimmer of prosperity. However, Toncoin (TON), Polkadot (DOT), and Litecoin (LTC) are wallowing in the red, poor dears. 🥀

The Imperialist Monetary Fund Now Eyeing Our Bitcoin!

The International Monetary Fund (IMF), that bastion of… well, *something*, has deigned to acknowledge the existence of crypto. The seventh edition of their *Balance of Payments Manual (BPM7)*, published March 20th, includes cryptocurrencies, Bitcoin (BTC) included! Imagine, these august bodies trying to make sense of our little digital revolution! They’ve gathered 160 nations to devise statistical voodoo to track the flow of crypto across borders. It doesn’t give crypto any *legal* blessing, mind you, but it’s a momentous step in how the powers-that-be will be watching us. Big Brother is watching… 👀

These crypto transactions, you see, are a bit like unruly peasants escaping the Tsar’s accounting. Trillions of dollars flitting about, often unreported or misreported. The IMF’s manual aims to bring order to this chaos, providing definitions and rules for these digital beasties. Thus, Bitcoin, stablecoins, staking rewards, and NFTs will be monitored alongside capital, investments, and services. A brave new world, indeed! Or perhaps a slightly less free one?

The SEC, Perhaps Growing a Conscience?

Mark Uyeda, the acting Chair of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), has hinted at a change of heart. During the inaugural session of the agency’s Crypto Task Force roundtable on March 21st, he dared to suggest the SEC might try *actual rulemaking* instead of just punishing everyone through enforcement. A radical idea, wouldn’t you say? A touch of reason in the asylum! 🤪

“This approach of using notice-and-comment rulemaking or explaining the Commission’s thought process through releases – rather than through enforcement actions – should have been considered for classifying crypto assets under the federal securities laws.”

Uyeda also dared to question the infamous Howey Test, that Supreme Court decree used to define investment contracts. The inconsistencies, he argues, make classifying crypto assets a nightmare. He reminisced about his time as Chief Advisor to the California Corporations Commissioner, recalling a certificate of deposit with a bonus that he, in his infinite wisdom, declared an investment contract. The court, however, disagreed. Naturally. The legal community, it seems, is as divided as a borscht recipe among grandmothers. Some demand pooling of funds and profit distribution, while others are more flexible. And the great debate rages on: must the investor’s profits stem from the promoter’s *post-sale* efforts, or are actions *before* the sale enough to satisfy the Howey Test? The mind boggles!🤯

“Differences in opinions among various courts is not unusual. After all, a judicial opinion is limited to particular facts and circumstances of that case. When judicial opinions have created uncertainty for market participants in the past, the Commission and its staff have stepped in to provide guidance.”

Mt. Gox, Arisen From the Grave, Shuffles $1 Billion in BTC

That long-dead beast, Mt. Gox, has stirred in its grave! ☠️ The defunct cryptocurrency exchange has moved $1 billion worth of Bitcoin (BTC) into two wallets, according to those busybodies at Arkham Intelligence. A transfer of 893 BTC ($78.11 million) to its hot wallet and 10,608 BTC ($927 million) to a “change wallet,” identified as 1DcoA. The transfers, like ghosts, have been appearing over the past four weeks. Over $900 million worth of BTC on March 11th and another $1 billion before that. Curiously, unlike past apparitions, this latest movement hasn’t spooked the price. Yet.

Bitcoin (BTC) Price Musings

Bitcoin (BTC), alas, has suffered a setback. Down nearly 1% after failing to breach that glorious $90,000 barrier. Currently lurking around $86,883. According to some analyst at Standard Chartered, we should treat Bitcoin as a tech stock, not as a hedge against inflation. Heavens forfend! The blasphemy! He even created a “Mag7B” index, replacing Tesla with Bitcoin in the Magnificent Seven (Apple, Microsoft, Nvidia, Amazon, Alphabet, Meta, and Tesla). Apparently, if BTC were included, it would be the sixth-largest member of the group. A curious game, wouldn’t you say?

Our beloved BTC has been retreating, unable to reclaim the $90,000 summit. Traders, emboldened, have increased their open interest in Bitcoin futures contracts by 10% in a single day. A staggering $57 billion worth of open derivatives contracts are swirling about, a figure that had dipped below $45 billion earlier this month. The analyst claims that if Bitcoin replaced Tesla in the Mag7 Index back in 2017, it would have *outperformed* the index by 5%. And those who traded Bitcoin for TSLA would have had a less bumpy ride. A devilish proposition indeed! 😈

“Perhaps more important than returns is Mag 7B’s lower volatility relative to Mag 7 every year. Over the full period, average annualized volatility is almost 2% lower for Mag 7B than for Mag 7.”

Stock correlations, a topic as contentious as politics at a family dinner. Back in 2024, BTC seemed to break free from gold and equities, outperforming every asset class. A moment of glory! But as we all know, such triumphs are fleeting.

“Furthermore, during the period since President Trump’s inauguration on January 20, BTC has traded like most of the Mag 7 stocks. If we compare price declines against [volume] levels over this period, BTC trades in a similar vol-adjusted fashion to NVDA, while TSLA trades a lot like ETH.”

BTC began the previous weekend with a flourish, almost 4%, past the 200-day SMA to a high of $85,363 before settling at $84,002. Buyers held on Saturday, with a small increase to $84,398. Sunday, alas, brought a retreat, down over 2%, below the 200-day SMA at $82,611. Monday brought buyers back, almost 2% to $84,016. Tuesday was a sad tale, with a low of $81,187 before settling at $82,725, a drop of 1.54%. Wednesday, buoyed by the FOMC meeting, saw a surge of over 5%, past the 20 and 200-day SMAs to $86,875.

However, the rally fizzled on Thursday, with BTC dropping over 3%, below the 20 and 200-day SMAs, settling at $84,215. Friday and Saturday were quiet, at $83,822. Sunday brought renewed hope, rising almost 3% to cross the moving averages at $86,116. Monday continued the rise, aiming for $90,000, reaching $88,824 before settling at $87,523, up almost 2%. The current session is down nearly 1%, as sellers plot their moves. If buyers retake control, BTC may reclaim $90,000. But if sellers prevail, it could slip below $85,000 or lower. A battle of wills, as always!

Ethereum (ETH) Price, A Soap Opera in Digital Form

Ethereum (ETH) is down nearly 1%, struggling to stay above the mystical $2,000. It had rallied since the weekend, past $2,000 on Monday. But the momentum is gone, and sellers lurk, aiming to drag it below that crucial level. Standard Chartered analysts claim ETH is stuck after giving away its value to Layer2 networks, failing to attract investor interest. It has dropped over 40% in three months, leading to talk of a “midlife crisis.” A dramatic turn of events, indeed!

“It’s hard to get too excited about amazing feats of engineering when there [are] so many competing things now in the attention economy.”

Ethereum’s developers are feuding, while user activity stagnates. Carol Alexander, Finance Professor at the University of Sussex, says Ethereum’s decentralized finance vision is further away than ever, and decision-making in the community is a “shambles.” A picture of chaos and disarray, isn’t it?

ETH started the previous week on a high note, rising over 2% at $1,928. A small increase followed on Tuesday, at $1,933. Wednesday brought a surge of over 6%, reclaiming $2,000, settling at $2,058. But buyers lost steam at this level, thanks to the 20-day SMA. Thursday saw a drop of almost 4%, below $2,000 at $1,983. Friday, sellers prevailed, nearly 1% to $1,965.

The weekend brought a change, with buyers returning. Saturday saw an increase of almost 1% at $1,981. Sunday followed, rising 1.33% to reclaim $2,000, settling at $2,007. Monday saw a surge of almost 4%, past the 20-day SMA, settling at $2,082. The current session is down slightly, after buyers failed to maintain momentum. Sellers hope to drag ETH below $2,000. If it falls, it could decline to $1,800. The stakes are high! 😮

Solana (SOL) Price, Aiming for the Stars?

Solana (SOL) hopes to keep its rally going, aiming for $150 as buying pressure returns. It had plunged over 7% on Sunday, failing past the 20-day SMA, at $126. Buyers returned on Monday, increasing 1.58%, settling at $128. Tuesday was back in the red, dropping over 2%, at $125. Wednesday brought a surge of over 8%, reclaiming $130, at $135, due to the FOMC. However, it failed to surpass the 20-day SMA, dropping almost 6% on Thursday, slipping below $130, at $127.

Despite the doom, SOL saw a small increase on Friday at $128. Saturday brought another small one before a rally on Sunday, past $130 and the 20-day SMA to $132. Monday, SOL rallied over 6% to cross $140, settling at $141. The current session sees SOL up almost 1%, aiming for $150. The RSI is above the neutral zone, and the MACD is bullish, indicating buyers are in charge. A bullish picture indeed!

Ripple (XRP) Price: A Tale of Two Factions

Ripple (XRP) began the previous week rising almost 2% at $2.34. The selling increased on Tuesday falling to a low of $2.22 before recovering to $2.28, a drop of 2%. XRP surged on Wednesday over 11%, past the 20 and 50-day SMAs to $2.54. However, XRP was back in the red on Thursday dropping over 4%, below the 50-day SMA to $2.43.

Sellers retained control on Friday falling over 2% to $2.38. The price continued to drop on Saturday with a small decline to $2.37. Sentiment changed on Sunday with XRP rising almost 3% and at $2.44. The price rose a little on Monday, crossing the 50-day SMA at $2.45. The current session sees XRP a little down as buyers and sellers fight for control. Sellers will try to drive the price below the averages to $2.40. On the other hand, buyers will drive XRP towards $2.50. The battle continues! ⚔️

Algorand (ALGO) Price Musings

Algorand (ALGO) began the previous week well, rising over 3% at $0.191. However, the price was back in the red on Tuesday, falling almost 3% to $0.186. Buyers returned on Wednesday, ALGO surging over 7% to $0.199. Despite the Wednesday rise, ALGO was red again on Thursday dropping over 2% to $0.195. Selling grew on Friday falling over 4% to $0.187.

The weekend brought a recovery as ALGO grew a little on Saturday, rising over 2% on Sunday to $0.191. Bullish sentiment grew on Monday as ALGO surged over 6%, crossing the 20-day SMA to $0.203. The current session sees ALGO up over 2% and trading at $0.208 as buyers look to drive the price. Forward!

Bittensor (TAO) Price Musings

Bittensor (TAO) has continued to push higher during the ongoing session after breaking out of its trading range over the weekend. If buyers can maintain control, TAO could rally to $300. TAO registered a large increase last Monday, rising over 5% to $254. Selling pressure returned on Tuesday as the price fell almost 3%, slipping below $250 and settling at $247. Buyers returned to the market on Wednesday as TAO rose 6.40% and settled at $262. However, it lost momentum on Thursday, dropping over 4% and settling at $251.

Sellers retained control on Friday as TAO fell over 2%, slipping below $250 and settling at $246. Sentiment changed over the weekend, and TAO registered a marginal increase on Saturday. Bullish sentiment intensified on Sunday as TAO rose almost 4% to reclaim $250 and settle at $257. Buyers retained control on Monday as TAO registered an increase of 4.37% to go past the 20-day SMA and settle at $268. The current session sees TAO up almost 2% and trading at $273. Up, up, and away!

Filecoin (FIL) Price, A Chronicle of Ups and Downs

Filecoin (FIL) has been rising since falling to $2.44 on March 11. However, it has struggled to push beyond $3 as it encountered resistance. FIL surged over 6% last Monday to $3.02. However, it was back in the red on Tuesday, slipping below the 20-day SMA and $3 and settling at $2.92, but not before dropping to $2.82. Bullish sentiment returned Wednesday as FIL surged past the 20-day SMA to reclaim $3 and settle at $3.10. However, the rally was short, and FIL was back in the red on Thursday, dropping almost 2% and settling at $3.05.

Bearish sentiment increased on Friday as the price plunged almost 5%, slipping below $3 and the 20-day SMA, settling at $2.90. Sentiment changed on Saturday with FIL rallying almost 3%, to a high of $3.06 before settling at $2.99. Buyers retained control on Sunday as the price rose 1.17% at $3.02. FIL began the current week well, rising over 3% to a high of $3.20 before settling at $3.12. The current session sees FIL a little down as buyers and sellers fight for control. Buyers will retake control and push FIL past the 50-day SMA. On the other hand, sellers will drive the price below $3. The pendulum swings! ⚖️

2025-03-25 17:15