Crypto ATMs in Federal Buildings? Texas Lawmaker Has a Wild Idea

by

Texas Representative Lance Gooden, undoubtedly with the best intentions, has formally asked the General Services Administration (GSA) to consider installing cryptocurrency ATMs in federal buildings across the United States. Because, of course, what better way to modernize public infrastructure than by adding a touch of digital chaos to it? 💸

In a letter dated May 1, Gooden boldly proposed this brilliant idea to Acting GSA Administrator Stephen Ehikian. The pitch? “Let’s show the public that we’re embracing innovation in a secure and responsible manner,” he said, as though crypto ATMs weren’t already a magnet for all kinds of digital mischief. 😏

But wait, it gets better. Gooden tied this proposal to none other than former President Donald Trump’s vision of putting the United States in the driver’s seat of cryptocurrency and blockchain technology. A stroke of genius, naturally, since nothing says “We’re leading the world” quite like rolling out crypto ATMs in government buildings. 🏛️

“Expanding accessibility to crypto ATMs within federal buildings aligns with President Trump’s vision of positioning the United States as a global leader in cryptocurrency,” Gooden triumphantly declared, as though this was the ultimate solution to the country’s pressing problems. Yes, because crypto ATMs have clearly been the missing piece in our grand geopolitical puzzle. 🤷‍♂️

Of course, in an effort to keep things above board, Gooden’s proposal includes some reassuring measures like robust identity verification, transparent fee structures, and—naturally—compliance with anti-money laundering regulations. Because if there’s one thing we know about the digital currency world, it’s that it’s brimming with trustworthiness. 💼

And in case anyone was worried about the finer details, Gooden stressed the importance of collaboration between regulators, private sector technology providers, and compliance experts. All to ensure that any implementation of these ATMs would be a safe haven for consumers and not, you know, a gateway to fraud. Or, at the very least, a convenient way to gamble away your savings. 🎰

Crypto ATMs: A Growing Phenomenon, But at What Cost?

Crypto ATMs, those charming little kiosks, have been multiplying like rabbits in recent years. However, they’ve also caught the eye of regulators and law enforcement, who’ve been raising eyebrows at their potential to facilitate fraud. After all, what’s not to love about an anonymous, digital transaction in a public space? 👀

But don’t worry, Gooden’s letter doesn’t shy away from these concerns. Instead, he encourages the GSA to implement “clear operational guidelines” to mitigate risks. Because we all know that “clear operational guidelines” have been a foolproof solution to every potential scam in the history of the internet. 🙄

Gooden argues that placing crypto ATMs in federal buildings could offer practical financial access and educate the public about digital assets—especially in underserved communities. Because, naturally, the best way to learn about crypto is to make it accessible to people who are already navigating a maze of financial uncertainty. 🧩

As of now, the GSA has yet to respond publicly to this request. But one can only imagine they’re busy planning the grand rollout of these digital wonder-machines. Or maybe they’re just figuring out how to respond without bursting into laughter. 😅

Read More

2025-05-02 18:45